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Reading Excuses / Re: Your Background
« on: December 04, 2008, 07:23:29 PM »
J...as in Jason of Dragonmount? It figures. You're one of only four people I am highly jealous of. Welcome aboard
News:
"Magic is what makes fantasy fantastic," someone says, "you can't apply rules to them or else it loses wonder!" I respond, "Sure, but if you want to write them you will certainly want to know how they work." Writing is all about execution, and I find applying some basic laws of physics to magic systems make them more understandable and realistic. Here, I'm going to outline my basic method for developing a magic system.
Column by Chaos2651
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92
Reading Excuses / Re: Choices (WEKM) Dec 01
« on: December 04, 2008, 07:19:47 PM »
OK I like the idea of a father and son reunion, in fact I would say this works as a family story beyond its superhero overtones. I only have two problems with it. First you called the guy "young" four times in the first two paragraphs. Show don't tell. Second the dossier could use some work and finally "an accident at a chemical plant" is the origin story of way to many heros and villans (one from the watchmen), Spiderman in a manner of speaking, the Joker, two face, Doctor Doom and a few others I'm probably missing.
The only other request I have is that from now on you don't use courier new single spaced. The journalism major in me screams at that font (it's what our printers use if there is something wrong the the standard formating of a page).
The only other request I have is that from now on you don't use courier new single spaced. The journalism major in me screams at that font (it's what our printers use if there is something wrong the the standard formating of a page).
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Reading Excuses / Re: Dec 1st, 08 - Birthright - Prologue
« on: December 04, 2008, 06:48:21 PM »
Well I'm interested. I agree that the name of Edwyn's magic system could be changed, maybe just shorting it to the power of script? The exchange where he shows surprise at Rogers knowing his surname can be taken out completely since there's no reason for him to be surprised that the man knows whose house he is sieging in the first place.
I definitely want to hear more about the Birthrights and did I catch a mention of it possibly being part of a religion in one of Edwyn's comments?
I definitely want to hear more about the Birthrights and did I catch a mention of it possibly being part of a religion in one of Edwyn's comments?
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Reading Excuses / Re: 12-01-08 Aspirations Chapters 1-7
« on: December 04, 2008, 06:29:29 PM »
I'm not going to say anything about the accents or repetition since everyone else did, what I would suggest is that you give a slight transition between his getting in the cab and the dream sequence if you do want to use it so close to the original conversation.
As it is, it's too difficult to follow. Another option would be to go with someone else's idea of the MC being an unreliable narrator and make his thoughts drunk as well.
As it is, it's too difficult to follow. Another option would be to go with someone else's idea of the MC being an unreliable narrator and make his thoughts drunk as well.
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Reading Excuses / Re: How do you feel about bi-MONTHly submissions? - please read
« on: December 04, 2008, 06:03:39 PM »
I would never be able to keep up with bi-monthly submissions with my schedule and I think my ability to give decent critiques with my inbox overflowing from that many submissions would suffer as well. If we go to that we probably need a RE group A and group B forum. Either way, I would only make about half the deadlines. Once a month is as good as I can get until May. After that, I could handle twice a month.
What about once every three weeks?
What about once every three weeks?
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Reading Excuses / Re: Crashers
« on: December 04, 2008, 05:59:51 PM »
Chapter one was pretty good just make sure that none of the general dialog gets too preachy about this or that resource being used. I don't think having one character who likes to argue would be a problem though.
My main issue is some of the language was slightly stuffy "...bell tolled 11 o'clock" that would be great for steam punk but I don't think someone from the future would think using language that proper. Run with it if they do, I'm just going on the bare introduction to the characters I've had so far.
My main issue is some of the language was slightly stuffy "...bell tolled 11 o'clock" that would be great for steam punk but I don't think someone from the future would think using language that proper. Run with it if they do, I'm just going on the bare introduction to the characters I've had so far.
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Reading Excuses / Re: To those of us who use Open Office
« on: November 29, 2008, 01:07:28 AM »
Me too. The kind people at Canonical Ltd. have made my world just a little bit brighter with Ubuntu.
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Reading Excuses / Re: To those of us who use Open Office
« on: November 28, 2008, 07:14:22 PM »
Well Chaos, maybe you should convert completely and use Linux like me...
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Reading Excuses / To those of us who use Open Office
« on: November 26, 2008, 04:30:52 PM »
As the first due date is only days away (yea or haha depending on whether or not we will be forced to laugh at some of you) I just thought I should take the time to remind my Open sourced brethren to convert their files to .doc or .rtf before sending them to the unenlightened. Otherwise they won't be able to read your stuff since MS Office is well a product of Microsoft...
-Jake aka wcarter4
-Jake aka wcarter4
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Reading Excuses / Re: Mod Voting!
« on: November 20, 2008, 12:24:07 AM »
Doesn't really matter to me who ends up getting picked, or even if someone is chosen at all. I just thank that a lot of you are spending large amounts of time posting in this forum that would be BETTER SPENT WRITING!!! *lets a loose a pack 'o dogs* Now back ta work all o' ya!
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Reading Excuses / Re: Your Background
« on: November 19, 2008, 04:41:10 PM »
Name's Jake
I'm a fourth year at the University of Georgia. I'm majoring in newspaper journalism. Most of what I write tends to be military science fiction or something akin to fantasy. I've been a student in various Martial Arts since the 6th grade, and it shows in my writing.
I'm a fourth year at the University of Georgia. I'm majoring in newspaper journalism. Most of what I write tends to be military science fiction or something akin to fantasy. I've been a student in various Martial Arts since the 6th grade, and it shows in my writing.
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Reading Excuses / Re: Email List
« on: November 18, 2008, 12:05:16 AM »
I think the 15th is looking like my kind of deadline right now. I've got too much on my plate due at or around the 1st already.
Well back to NaNo writing...
Well back to NaNo writing...
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Reading Excuses / Re: Genre?
« on: November 17, 2008, 04:05:26 PM »
I write military science fiction and occasionally a bit of fantasy here or there.
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Reading Excuses / Re: Email List
« on: November 16, 2008, 05:14:43 AM »
Well, Open Office can export to pdf, so you and I are good, but not everyone can so we should probably stick to regular docs. Besides with a huge group of us, I don't think it would be hard to catch and call out anyone stealing someone else's material. I don't think anyone who is even halfway serious about doing this is likely to do something like that anyway.
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Reading Excuses / Re: Email List
« on: November 16, 2008, 01:57:14 AM »
Well, this solves one of my problems. I'll submit material as I'm able, next semester will probably be a bit easier than the current one though.
-Jake
p.s. are we doing this in pdf, Word or what?
-Jake
p.s. are we doing this in pdf, Word or what?