Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Messages - wcarter4

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 7
16
Reading Excuses / Re: Granite Sunrise chapter 1
« on: February 05, 2009, 07:13:22 PM »
It was my intention to make it clear that Moren told the story while the three of them were eating at the table to Larraus and Dahael but I guess one sentence without direct dialog didn't get that across so I'll fix that. Larraus is the main character although he Moren and Dahael are all three going to be view point characters. I'll try and make that more clear both on revisions and especially in future chapters.
I'm working on the break up right now, the revision will have the conclusion of the "kidnapping" happen in the beginning of chapter two.
Thanks Frog.

17
Reading Excuses / Re: 2-2-09 Reaves: Crystalheart, chapter seven
« on: February 04, 2009, 12:54:53 AM »
I would have to say that this chapter's Achilles heel is Tristan's melodrama. It's like he is going out of his way to be mysterious and then turning around and demanding trust from Ameryst. That's silly. If someone did that to you in reality you would probably just think they were crazy then go about your business ignoring them.

Don't get me wrong, I think he is fine as a character, but some of his dialog is inconsistent and a little over the top. The thing with the guards may have been a bit cliched, but then I would imagine ruffian merc's in a world with of ruins wouldn't be the brightest bunch anyway.

 You do have a plot hole between this chapter and the last with the sand panthers and the lone travelers. From the way you described the panthers, priests traveling alone would be basically committing suicide. Many people wouldn't pick up on that, but a few would and real priests and aesthetics who travel(ed) into Earth's deserts did so with followers.

18
Reading Excuses / Re: 02/02/09 Hamster: Soul Taker Prologue and Chapter 1
« on: February 03, 2009, 10:13:19 PM »
Well, I second the notion that it is Robert Jordan-ish. Not a bad way to start, but I would suggest taking out the random guy who apparently dies nameless and insane at the very beginning he's far too much like Lews Therin, and it's impossible to actually care about him when we don't even have a name or a reason to go along with him.

Your writing style flows well, but you need to work on your voice. You switch between too many POV's in just a couple of pages. It makes it too hard for me (and probably others) to actually tell who we should be metaphorically rooting for. The end result is guy number one does some stuff switch to guy number two..he dies switch back to guy number one..he dies switch to guy number three..he has no name, description or obvious motivation. Now with this being a prologue, you CAN get away with a little of that, but I think you could probably tell the same story better if you simply used just one or two POV's instead of four.

19
Reading Excuses / Re: Swear words, what to use.
« on: February 03, 2009, 09:54:26 PM »
There is one other aspect of this to keep in mind everyone is forgetting: write to your audience. If you are writing to children and dropping the F bomb, you are going to get black listed by parents. If however your characters are not acting believable and conveying how they feel through speech, older readers won't find them believable (i.e. If I were to slam my finger in a heavy metal door I would probably yell something bad despite my tendency not to cuss).

20
Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: February 01, 2009, 05:14:33 PM »
what you're doing Sortitus is called fanfiction and is perfectly acceptable except when authors specifically request that no one does any. What the other guy did was blatantly rip off the ideas and then try to pass them off as his own original work.

21
Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: February 01, 2009, 07:24:08 AM »
Well, let's just forget about him for a while. He isn't here, and he isn't one of the people on the writing excuses cast so we can all just go back to pretending he doesnt exist and get back to trying to improve our own projects.

22
Reading Excuses / Re: How many critiques do you give a week?
« on: January 31, 2009, 09:56:15 PM »
Don't misunderstand. I read your stuff when I'm able. I just haven't critiqued you yet since most everyone else has and I often am short for time.

23
Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: January 31, 2009, 08:31:49 PM »
Little Wilson I'm not sure whether you have read either series, but most people cant have true hatred for an author until they read the WoT series and THEN read a Terry Goodkind book. The Goodkind blatantly stole every brilliant idea the late Robert Jordan had then found a way to screw them up. Deus ex machinas, cliches, stolen...everything... there are very few WoT fans who do not want the Goodkind dead.

24
Reading Excuses / Re: How many critiques do you give a week?
« on: January 31, 2009, 05:53:12 PM »
I have a copy of everything sent sense RE started. Have I critiqued them all? HELL NO. I don't have that kind of time unfortunately and I'm not versed enough in certain styles such as screen plays to give meaningful critiques on some. Others, such as Frog's Queens Opal I haven't critiqued because of the length and number of other (probably better) critiques already given.

25
Reading Excuses / Re: Granite Sunrise
« on: January 31, 2009, 05:49:31 PM »
Thanks Jason. I've already begun doing revisions to my prologue actually. I'm making the fight a little longer (and uglier for Dahael), but not by too much. Few people realize just how short knife fights tend to really be. Thanks for pointing out the Vales typo. I hadn't caught that for some reason and a dead/cremated man should most certainly not be walking through the woods.

26
Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: January 31, 2009, 05:44:39 PM »
Quote from: little_wilson on January 31, 2009, 06:43:57 AM
Did you want it named specifically 'Twilight'? Or a title of another book in the series? Or a title with the word twilight in it?....And I can totally see why you wouldn't want your book to be associated with that flaming pile of garbage.

I was going to have  Twilight in the title, but it would have been part of the phrase. I think that *insert worst, most offensive expletive possible here* book series serves only to prove that....I'm just going to end this right here before something bad happens.

27
Reading Excuses / Re: Questions, problems and ideas
« on: January 31, 2009, 06:21:33 AM »
If you were in a position where you could get it from the UGA library I could simply give the books to you to borrow in person since I'm at UGA. Are you??

28
Reading Excuses / Re: Email List + Submission Dates
« on: January 31, 2009, 06:15:17 AM »
Granite Sunrise isn't exactly what I would have named my current project. It would be called something far closer to its nature of dealing with assassins if not for a certain vampire romance novel.

29
Reading Excuses / Re: Questions, problems and ideas
« on: January 31, 2009, 04:39:43 AM »
There are books on Samurai sword forms. "The Sword and the Mind" by Hiroaki Sato and The Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi would b e fairly useful Ben.

30
Reading Excuses / Re: What is YOUR Writing Process?
« on: January 30, 2009, 05:44:38 PM »
Well, generally I have to decide that I want to write something. I'll get a cool idea in my head and I will sit down and write the beginnings of a chapter or two. As soon as that is down, I begin to outline. I can't write past the beginning without an outline, but I can't make an outline without a beginning.
In that way, I think that I am a hybrid writer. Often times when I sit down to begin a story I have no idea whatsoever what I'm going to be writing about, who the characters will be etc. That all comes as the voices in my head argue and eventually reach an accord as to which path is best.

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 7