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Author Topic: Fear and Doubt  (Read 8749 times)

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #60 on: November 02, 2004, 12:33:28 PM »
yeah, my seething jealousy has nothing to do with EUOL personally. And I"m hardly Anne Lamott with her hatred of friends being successful. I'm just stressed over other things, and very covetous.

Beware, EUOL, the ninja monkeys are coming to steal your life and give it to me!
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MsFish

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #61 on: November 02, 2004, 03:16:28 PM »
Quote
But, fortunately, EUOL is one of those humble, encouraging sorts who does a really good job of making you feel like you just need to keep working so that you can be as good as he is too.


Yes, but you see, this can be both a good thing and a bad thing.  He's persuasive enough to make me want to believe him, but the thing is, it's probably not *true*.  

Or maybe it is, and I just need to have more faith.  Maybe we could all be great writers if we just believed in ourselves for long enough to really and truely give it a shot.  


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Beware, EUOL, the ninja monkeys are coming to steal your life and give it to me!


Yeah watch out for those ninja monkeys.  They've still got my sanity.  I want it back, dang it!
« Last Edit: November 02, 2004, 03:18:01 PM by MsFish »
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Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.  Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.  -Langston Hughes

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #62 on: November 02, 2004, 03:25:55 PM »
oh, just because you have the prerequisite angst, I'm gonna say that EUOL's probably right. Because then it's more likely he's right about me too.
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MsFish

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #63 on: November 02, 2004, 03:26:40 PM »
prerequisite angst?  What's that supposed to mean?   ;D


See, I'm more likely to think he's right about everyone *but* me.  
« Last Edit: November 02, 2004, 03:27:20 PM by MsFish »
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Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.  Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.  -Langston Hughes

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #64 on: November 02, 2004, 03:42:12 PM »
remind me to have you read my "two thieves" story that my whole writing group despised, then ask EUOL what he's said about my potential in the past (not about this story, but my over all potential). You'll be looking up then. You'll think, "With THIS crap he's got potential? EUOL's either insane or maybe I have a shot too!"
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MsFish

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #65 on: November 02, 2004, 03:47:54 PM »
If I were choosing between those two (EUOL being insane or me having a shot, that is) I'd probably go with the former.   ;D

Hmmm, or maybe it's both!  Down with binaries!

You seem to have ignored my question about the prerequisite angst.   :P
« Last Edit: November 02, 2004, 03:49:48 PM by MsFish »
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Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.  Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.  -Langston Hughes

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #66 on: November 02, 2004, 04:04:51 PM »
yeah, I did. I think you already know what I mean. The angst fairy is like, one of your best friends. Don't worry, she hangs at my place a lot too.
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MsFish

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #67 on: November 02, 2004, 04:07:30 PM »
I don't think of myself as angsty.  I prefer dramatic.  After all, the unexamined life is not worth living, right?
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Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.  Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.  -Langston Hughes

Mistress of Darkness

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #68 on: November 02, 2004, 07:01:19 PM »
Prerequisite angst probably has something to do with the idea that all really good authors have some sort of mental handicap.

I have the angst fairy and the Drooling Muse, which is my son. He has been in a remarkably good mood for a boy whose mother spends a lot of time in front of the computer rather than playing with him.
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" If i ever need a pen-name I'd choose EUOL, just to confuse everyone. " --Entropy

Skar

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #69 on: November 02, 2004, 08:07:08 PM »
I was worried for a while that getting to go off and shoot bad people for two years would exorcise my angst...

Nope.  It's still there. (strokes his angst and giggles)
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MsFish

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #70 on: January 07, 2005, 03:36:40 AM »
I'm posting on this thread again because I'm having the exact opposite experience as I had in November.  

So I dropped my editing minor, and in doing so effectively finished my degree in December.  So this semester I'm taking one class for fun and working as a TA for ten hours a week.  I could have been a responsible adult and gotten a second job and not been broke, but instead I decided, I have enough money to survive, I want to write, dang it.  

So I'm basically doing nothing this semester except writing.  I figure, I'll never get this chance again in my life, I better seize it while I have it.  

So there's been the usual fear and doubt...what if I'm just wasting my time...what if I should be doing something else...what if I can't write that much...what if I'm not any good and this never goes anywhere....

So today was my first day, and I wrote 4,000 words, and made a bunch of progress on one of my novels, and did some rewriting, and had a ball.  Things went so well and I'm just so *happy*.  I feel like happiness is just going to spin out of me and splatter all over the walls.  

And another thing I realized is, looking back at my first couple of novels, I'm a heck of alot better now than I was then.  Like alot better.  Eons better.  So if I can improve that much, whose to say I can't be a writer?  Who's to say I can't keep improving until I make it, right?  I mean, no one can tell me that I can't live my dream, if that's what I really want and I do what it takes to get there.  

I'm sure I'm going to have bad days, but if I get to feel like this for four months it's going to be the best four months of my life.  
« Last Edit: January 07, 2005, 03:37:41 AM by MsFish »
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Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.  Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.  -Langston Hughes

Archon

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #71 on: January 07, 2005, 03:43:58 AM »
Good job MsFish. Took you long enough to realize that you were good.  ;)
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MsFish

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #72 on: January 07, 2005, 03:46:29 AM »
Well, I don't know if I'm good.  But I'm going to be, gosh dang it.  Thanks, Archon.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2005, 03:47:02 AM by MsFish »
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Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.  Hold fast to dreams, for when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.  -Langston Hughes

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #73 on: January 07, 2005, 03:21:38 PM »
I hate to say I told you so, but you told yourself so.
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Skar

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Re: Fear and Doubt
« Reply #74 on: January 07, 2005, 03:24:34 PM »
Well, done and good luck.
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"Skar is the kind of bird who, when you try to kill him with a stone, uses it, and the other bird, to take vengeance on you in a swirling melee of death."

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