Fear and Doubt

[MsFish]

I like that you're being so incredibly careful so as not to offend me.  I'm aware that my problem mirrors addictive behavior.  Not all addictions are to drugs or alcohol or pornography or so on.  Some of them live inside us.  I learned that by talking to a friend who has an addiction problem.  I realized that his problems are exactly like mine, just that mine don't affect my temple recommend.  Also, he can avoid his addiction because it's physical.  I can't just stay away from it, because I carry it around in my head.  

Sooo much fun.  

[stacer]

SE, we never moved back to Tuesdays. We've been on Wednesdays for a while now.

(Unless I missed some memo.)

[fuzzyoctopus]

As a female, I have to ask - are you looking for therapy or sympathy?

[Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock]

Although we all are just bricks in the wall, I'd much rather be that one that was the redder of the bunch, than be all the same exact color as the rest.

[MsFish]

Fuzzy-- I think the only thing I'm really looking for is my sanity.  I'm not sure where it went.  

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

oh is that all? I have it stashed away here in my jar of souls. Sorry, it's in storage. I can't get to it for 5 or 6 more months.

[MsFish]

So this is all YOUR fault!  I blame you!  Your ninja monkeys have absconded with my sanity!

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

you wouldn't believe how many times I hear that accusation in a day.

[Prometheus]

It's always fun reading the last page in a thread without reading the middle. I haven't followed things along from the first post (which I did read) but one thing that seems relevant to me is that I've heard that writing is partially just getting a story out of us that wants to be told. I think I can understand your frustration with always wanting to write, but having trouble doing it. If my understanding of the problem is decently close, I recommend sticking with your writing even if you never intend to show it to others, just to tell the stories you want to tell. Not all of us are EUOL, and besides, you'll get better as you do it anyway.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

oh, and at this point? you're not the only one comparing her/himself unfavorably to someont like EUOL.

[MsFish]

Are you talking to me?  Since when am I comparing myself to EUOL?  That's not a fair comparison for any of us to make, unless you spend spend X bazillion amount of hours every week writing.  If I had that kind of dedication maybe I'd be great too.

But on the bright side, after I turned in a pathetic attempt to my writing class this morning, I've decided to give it one more shot.  I have a novel that I wrote a chapter of this summer, but never got any further.  I'm going to pick it up again, because it was just for fun, nothing serious.  If at the end of the month I still want to quit, then that's it.  I'm not going to feel guilty about it, but I figure I owe myself at least one more try.  

[Mistress of Darkness]

Sounds like fun.

[MsFish]

Yeah.  Or something.  

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

oh, maybe *I'm* the only one comparing himself to EUOL unfavorably.

Keep on it Fishy!

[Mistress of Darkness]

Um, no, me too.

But, fortunately, EUOL is one of those humble, encouraging sorts who does a really good job of making you feel like you just need to keep working so that you can be as good as he is too.