Timewaster's Guide Archive
Local Authors => Brandon Sanderson => Topic started by: CinderEllie on May 16, 2005, 07:02:47 PM
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So, I see EUOL will be doing a first-ever reading from ELANTRIS at the CONduit in SLC on the 27th. What do you suppose he'll read?
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I'm kind of thinking he might read Raoden's first day in Elantris--it's a cool introduction that doesn't really give anything away.
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I'm thinking he'll do the musical number.
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Ah, yes, a musical number! In that case, I vote for "The Elantrian Blues." 8) You know, the one that goes something like . . .
Well, I got tossed into this city
Where no one wants to share,
We look all brown and creepy
An' Domi don't seem to care.
Ohhhh, yeah, I gots the Elantrian Blues
Yeah, they've really got me stuck.
I'm hungry an' tired an' bruised
An' plum run outta luck!
See, my Dula pal's real gloomy
But I keep tryin' hard to "live"
To show my fellow zombies
They've all got a lot to give.
My daddy's been wreckin' the kingdom,
Plus my fiancé thinks I'm dead.
My toe just won't quit throbbin'
An' my captain, he went Hoed.
Yep, no doubt it's the Elantrian Blues
Boy, they really, really suck.
I'm hungry an' tired an' bruised,
An' plum run low on luck!
Meanwhile, my baby, she done left me,
Then she stabbed me in the face.
That Derethi priest's a meanie,
An' the Dor's still outta reach.
Wellllll, the Elantrian Blues just suck,
'Cuz I'll prob'ly wind up nuts.
Man, why's the Dor all cracked up?
So Rao-less an' dang messed up?
Mmmm, well, maybe I'll never know.
Might as well go with the flow,
An' take a cool relaxin' swim
After failin' sweet Sarene again.
But wait--hey, if it ain't too late,
Perhaps I'll change my fate.
Just turn to chapter sixty-one
An' my Blue days are almost done.
Yeah, those pesky Elantrian Blues,
Oh, all my sorry Blue days,
The down and dull days,
Are allllllmost long gone.
[P.S. So . . . any other musical nominations for EUOL's first ever ELANTRIS reading?]
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I have no response to that.
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I do.
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!
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Um...wow. I'm impressed. And a little disturbed. :)
Have you introduced yourself yet, CinderEllie?
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Spriggan: just thought I'd give you a nod--I came up with the idea for Elantrian Blues after seeing your tongue-in-cheek musical number remark
Fellfrosch: come on, no response at all?
Tekiel: thanks for the big belly laugh. But are you laughing with me or at me, I wonder . . .
EUOL: glad that my lovely lyrical doggerel made an impression. But I wonder what was more disturbing--the fact that someone would/could reduce your literary masterpiece to a handful of Blues-themed verses or the fact that it works so well? ;)
Anyway, I hadn't thought to introduce myself. So I'll take care of that later on and post a little bit about me.
In the meantime, if anyone wants to put me in touch with a music agent who'd appreciate my unique talents, I'd be much obliged . . .
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In case no one else has formally done this, here is a link to the introduction thread, and welcome to the board CinderEllie. The second link that I posted is the forum FAQ, which you should probably look through, if you haven't already.
http://www.timewastersguide.com/boards/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=news;action=display;num=1051196804;start=75
http://www.timewastersguide.com/boards/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=news;action=display;num=1080380396
On a related note, are you administrative types aware that there isn't a part three to the FAQ, but there is a part four?
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That's the second rule: there is no part 3.
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The FAQ is incomplete. Both EUOL and I have written and touched up bits, but we're also both very busy people.
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Very busy enough to see Star Wars twice already, hmmm....?
;D
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tell me honestly that seeing Star Wars twice isn't more important than updating the FAQ.
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Star Wars is for christmas, the FAQ is for a lifetime.
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Okay, so I read thru the FAQs. (Thanks for the welcome Archon.) Then I visited this thread again, and I thought, "Hmm. Looks like staying on topic isn't a matter of life and death after all." As a n00b, though, my game plan is to stick to the rules so as not to incurr the wrath of any TWG overlords. :)
Anyway, I'm still wondering if EUOL has decided what part of ELANTRIS he'll be reading at CONduit next Fri. Has he mentioned that anywhere? (I've read thru a lot of the threads I was interested in and I didn't see anything).
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we have soemthing about staying on topic in there?
/me edits and reveals how much he remembers about the FAQs
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Drat this cursed ograbme!
As for his reading, I really don't know. Maybe he'll read a chuck from somebody else's book, just to be different. He's a rebel, you know.
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Reading chucks, for example. He's always reading chucks. Here a chuck, there a chuck, every where a chuck chuck. Who reads chucks anymore? I'll tell you, EUOL reads chucks. Usually someone else's chuck.
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Which isn't as exciting as you think, because it's a keyless chuck.
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I am completely baffled. Keyless?
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I am completely baffled. Keyless?
Someone either didn't take or doesn't remember her shop class.
Aparently shop class is necessary for book readings.
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Don't remember it. I could probably still work a jigsaw though...
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Anyway, I'm still wondering if EUOL has decided what part of ELANTRIS he'll be reading at CONduit next Fri. Has he mentioned that anywhere? (I've read thru a lot of the threads I was interested in and I didn't see anything).
This is my very first post EVER, so if it is messed up, sorry. I have no idea what I am doing.
I don't know what Brandon will be reading at Conduit. I have, however, spent many many hours thinking of ways I could make the experience memorable. I've come up with three situations, all of which will be highly embarrassing for him. Should I:
a. Hold up a beachball beside him and talk from behind it, insisting that I am his Seon;
b. Sit directly in front of him and blow noisy kisses whenever he tries to read; or
c. Dress up as Princess Sarene and come charging in yelling about my dead Prince Raoden.
Vote for whatever you want! (The great thing is that he can't get mad at me because he already knows I'm insane, so there will be no repercussions from the Evil Undead OverLord.) >:( <--EUOL
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I vote for A. But only if I get to be there to see it.
;D
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I was also voting for A, but that was also because I didn't want to encourage B or C until I was sure you were Heather and not some crazy stalker.
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You messed it up! omfrpg13! What are you thinking? Good gravy's! You must use the integrated Yabb tages to italicize and boldinize anything you want emphasized! ZZZZ!
But yeah... welcome. Nice to see you in one form of life or another.
I suggest doing both A and C, but alternating between them over the course of the session.
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I was also voting for A, but that was also because I didn't want to encourage B or C until I was sure you were Heather and not some crazy stalker.
Discretion is always wise--especially when approaching a potentially rabid squirrel or a potentially crazed stalker.
But yes, I am Heather, so I do have a right to blow noisy kisses at EUOL in an attempt to distract or embarrass him.
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You messed it up! omfrpg13! What are you thinking? Good gravy's! You must use the integrated Yabb tages to italicize and boldinize anything you want emphasized! ZZZZ!
Sorry. As I mentioned, I'm still new to all of this. When I don't know how to do something, I tend to make up my own way. I'll get MsFish or EUOL to tutor me so I don't offend the powers that be.
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You can ignore almost anything Gemm says - he just usually says it in such a funny manner that you don't want to.
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But yes, I am Heather, so I do have a right to blow noisy kisses at EUOL in an attempt to distract or embarrass him.
I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear that. :P ;D
Sorry. As I mentioned, I'm still new to all of this. When I don't know how to do something, I tend to make up my own way. I'll get MsFish or EUOL to tutor me so I don't offend the powers that be.
Yeah, you're totally fine. No tutoring needed.
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I was not aware that we had our own version of TPTB.
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I think in this case TPTB = Newbie Smackdown Crew.
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Discretion is always wise--especially when approaching a potentially rabid squirrel or a potentially crazed stalker.
But yes, I am Heather, so I do have a right to blow noisy kisses at EUOL in an attempt to distract or embarrass him.
Right on! However, a note of caution to this tale: one must also use discretion when approaching authors, for they possess the uncanny predeliction towards modeling certain characters after real-life acquaintances at whom the author wishes to poke fun. ::)
But since you're EUOL's sweetie, Chimera, let's hope that he has more sense than to do that! Otherwise he might become EULOL (Evil Undead Lonely Over Lord).
That said, I'll definitely have to vote for B. But I'm torn between that and A. Who could resist a Seon? Give me a Seon over a personal robot anyday.
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I have absolutely no compunctions about voting wholeheartedly for A. You can also perform a variation on B by blowing noisy kisses from behind the beach ball while maintaining your persona as his seon.
I'm afraid... that I must encourage this.
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Sounds good to me, Skar. But I was thinking . . . maybe Chimera should add a fourth choice--she could jump up on a chair at random moments and draw a whole bunch of Aons in thin air. After all, who could possibly blame her for trying to perfect the art of drawing Aons in front of the master?
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Use a laser pointer and a electronic whiteboard at the same time, so she actually does draw the aons.
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This is getting better and better. I just keep waiting for EUOL to put in his two-cents. He seems to be purposely ignoring me...
Hehehehe.
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I'm not certain what to make of this entire thread.
I'm going to vote for option D: Bake EUOL cookies.
As for Cinder's legitimate--and up to this point unanswered question--I still can't quite say what I'll be reading. Since this is my first one ever, I don't know really what would be appropriate.
It seems like the beginning of ELANTRIS would be best, since it would be the most likely to draw people into the book who haven't read it yet. Part of the con experience is, after all, publicity.
However, I'm thinking the YA book might be fun to read from a little bit. Also, Mistborn could make a nice teaser for people interested in what's coming up next.
Any suggestions?
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Yeah, this is a fun thread, isn't it? Not too bad of a response to a first-ever post, eh?
So . . . as much as I enjoyed ELANTRIS, if I were able to be at the CON, I would definitely want to get a sneak preview of MISTBORN.
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How much time do you have?
I like your YA book--it makes me laugh. And I think it shows that you are a versatile writer. But if most of the audience is expecting mainstream fantasy ("deep and ponderous," as you've termed it), then that might be what you want to stick with.
Reading from Mistborn could be good. I know when I have gone to listen to an author I admire, I always am intrigued when they read something "new" and "unpublished" that they are working on. So to please your millions of fans, maybe that's what you should do. ;)
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I'm going to vote for option D: Bake EUOL cookies.
Oh, I see, I can't have sugar, but you can? Now that is just cruel and unusual punishment!
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I think you should definitely read from Elantris, and I can't off the top of my head think of a better place than the beginning. When you are a huge author like Lois McMaster Bujold and most of the people at your reading got your newest book the first day it was out, then you tease them with the next book. But in your case, you would certainly hope that a large percentage of the people going to your reading have not read Elantris at all--this is an important time to market it to them.
It would make sense to read from Mistborn after January, if you're going to any cons between then and when it comes out, assuming it's still coming Mayish (though you're rather behind on production compared to Elantris, if that's the case, right?).
The new YA book is fresh in your mind and seems new and exciting to you, but by the time it comes out (if ever) anyone who hears you read from it now is going to have forgotten everything about it, whereas Elantris is fresh and exciting to anyone who hasn't read it 15 times over the past 6 years already like you.
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Ookla's got it, I think.
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Yeah, Ookla's got a very good point. Too bad EUOL couldn't read a little of both. But a half hour isn't all that much time, really.
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It seems like the beginning of ELANTRIS would be best, since it would be the most likely to draw people into the book who haven't read it yet. Part of the con experience is, after all, publicity.
Any suggestions?
Well I lent one of my copies to a coworker and he said the beginning was really catchy, so I'll throw in a vote for that. Everyone also really seems to like the Seons, so if you can include the Seons at all, those seem to be a hit.
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Hence the talking beachball shtick.
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Thank you, Fell, for bringing us back to that topic.
I don't know if anyone else noticed, but EUOL purposely tried to distract us from our fun teasing by asking a logical question. And it worked--for a time.
But we will not be distracted from hypothetical hilarious situations!
Cookies, of course, are not an option. Nobody vote for D.
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I vote for E: bake SaintEhlers some cookies. (that's me)
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Yea, I'll back you some cookies.
(Cookies laced with arsenic).
J/K ;D
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that's ok, the ninja monkeys taste all my food first, and I've spent the last several years building up an immunity to arsenic.
I want to point out to Entropy that I was not the *only* person to typo "bake" as "back"
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lol. I should read my posts more carefully.
Backing cookies is much worse than baking them! I definitely won't be doing that! ;)
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The worst is backing into them. Not only can you get burned, but then they're unfit for consumption.
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it's actually worst when they're in your back. That hurts.
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I don't know, I thought cookies were sometimes used as a cheap form of hot stones/aromatherapy.
Sometimes when you get a massage they will put heated stones on your back to relax the muscles. I think I'll try a homemade version and put freshly-baked cookies on my back. The combination of heat and aroma should be soothing.
And then I'll give them to e and EUOL! haha
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well, cookies ON your back is one thing. IN your back is quite another.
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Obviously my threat fell flat.
Okay, first I'll go swim in a pool of questionably cleanliness, then I'll roll on a patch of ground of unquestionably muddiness, and then I'll put the cookies on my back and THEN give them to you!
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They serve sushi on the backs of women--why not cookies?
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it's actually worst when they're in your back. That hurts.
Huh? IN her back? What, e, you want Chimera to be your cookie "mule"? No dope involved, just a nice batch of cookies tucked in where the cookie dogs can't sniff them out?
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They serve sushi on the backs of women--why not cookies?
I've never seen sushi served on the backs of women. Is this something they only do in Japan, not in liberated America? Or is this an ancient custom?
Wherever it's from or whenever it's done, I am definitely NOT getting down on my hands and knees so e and EUOL can eat cookies off my back.
Unless it would fool them about the arsenic.
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Huh? IN her back? What, e, you want Chimera to be your cookie "mule"? No dope involved, just a nice batch of cookies tucked in where the cookie dogs can't sniff them out?
I also refuse to participate in drug-trafficking of any kind.
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actualy it's something they only do in america and not Japan.
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Ah. I think I'm catching the drift now. This occurs in a the sort of restuarant I have never been to and have no desire to go to, is that correct?
Or maybe I'm way off.
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no actualy this was done at fancy sushi restraunts not sleazy places. It was quite popular in LA and Chicago.
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It's more along the lines of "restaurant we couldn't afford," but I wouldn't rule out the other two options.
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no actualy this was done at fancy sushi restraunts not sleazy places. It was quite popular in LA and Chicago.
Weird. And the waitresses had no problem with this?
I would have had a big problem with it.
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Maybe I'm not getting it, though. Maybe I don't have the whole picture. Was it like the waitresses came out on hands and knees, or was it like performance art? ("Okay, now pretend your a tree! And now a table! And while you're at it, do you mind if we serve sushi on your back?")
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it would be a woman, naked or in a swimsuite that would lay out on the table and the food would be placed on her stomach and other parts of her body. Then people would eat it off of her.
http://www.sushitarian.dk/img/body_sushi_pic_01.jpg
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Still very weird to me. I don't see how it couldn't be considered sleazy, or at least sexist.
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Still very weird to me. I don't see how it couldn't be considered sleazy, or at least sexist.
'cause I think the paradigm in Japan is still to see women as objects.
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Well, as Spriggan said this isn't really a Japanese custom. I think what we're dealing with is the American pardigm to see Japanese women as objects.
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Actualy I was reading some more and found it's popular in China as well.
Many in the States that do it say it's art.
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Well, I'd be certainly happy to try the experience to determine if it is or is not art...
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Not to change the topic again...
I thought I should inform all of you who are hoping to see me do something embarrassing to EUOL during his reading that I will actually not be there. I have a prior commitment to an adorable boy by the name of Owen.
I am trying to swing it so I can come on Saturday, but that may or may not happen. So, if I don't come, everyone have a great time without me and make sure to support EUOL (make it look like he is important and popular)! ;D
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it would be a woman, naked or in a swimsuite that would lay out on the table and the food would be placed on her stomach and other parts of her body. Then people would eat it off of her.
I guess no one else saw the "CSI: Miami" episode where a gal working as a sushi table poisoned one of the clients with blowfish poison-infused fingernail polish! It was pretty crazy.
This female customer was, well, too "interested" in the sushi geisha. Feeling justifiably harrassed, this sushi geisha dediced to take matters into her own hands. So she poisoned her fingernail polish and put sushi on the back of her hand (besides other places) because she knew this creepy woman would use her mouth to get the sushi.
The CSI guys only figured it out after finding a teeny piece of fingernail polish stuck in the vic's teeth. Ugh! They figured out what type of poison it was and gave the sushi geisha a visit.
Anyway, I wouldn't have believed this naked sushi restaurant thing if I hadn't seen that. Crazy stuff.
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Actually, I have seen that episode. There was something to do with really expensive honey, too.
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The honey was a different episode, with a much sillier clue than "blowfish poison nail polish." If such a thing is possible.
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Chimera,
How is Saturday looking for you?
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Um...what time does CONduit start?
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Not sure. Probably nine or ten. I don't know that I would get up that early, though....
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Well, what time are you planning on going up?
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His first pannel is at 1pm so probaly 11ish is when he'd leave (knowing my brother).
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If that's the case, then my answer is yes. My brother and sister-in-law will be back from their vacation by then so I won't have to babysit.
EUOL: call me and we can work out the details, instead of making everyone read our travel plans.
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oh, we enjoy it. It's not like we're planning to replace you and EUOL with Dopplegangers (fell has an in with Queen Dopplepoppalis) so certain people can take over his writeing career.
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Lol.
Maybe one day EUOL and I will stage a fight on the forums for all of your enjoyment.
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It will have to be a doozy to compete with some of the fights we've had here. At one point we destroyed the entire Earth, I think, save for a select group of assassin priests hiding out in some kind of pocket dimension.
Oh, that's another thing you'll pick up after a while: everyone on the forum has assassin priests. Even if they don't know it.
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Nah, I think I'll stick with my ninja kittens.
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Oh, that's another thing you'll pick up after a while: everyone on the forum has assassin priests. Even if they don't know it.
Good to know. That could come in handy around finals time.
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My assassin priests were first. the rest of you just command pale imitations of the real thing.
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I deny having any such assassin priests. I have been taking care of my own dirty work ever since I fought off the first ninja monkey hit that SE put out on me.
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You can read about my assassin priests. ;)
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I ate mine. Tasted kind of chewy.
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Can I have assassin fish? Something like a Great White Shark might be nice...or a school of piranahs. Or just killer bettas. Beware the doorbell... :P ;D
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they hiss
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and spit
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When he went to check on his experiment the next morning, Professor Liebowitz was overcome by the success of his experiment to mix piranhas with flying fish...
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I have to say that any mention of ninja monkeys makes me think of Kim Possible. In one of my favorite episodes, the evil villian Monkey Fist receives a prophecy that directs him to kidnap Frederick, a really smart monkey employed as an astronaut. When Frederick resists, Monkey Fist says, "Don't fight destiny, Frederick. It's just not done." My roommate Dorothy and I used to quote this to each other all the time.
And the best part is at the end when the ninja monkeys make Kim's sidekick Ron Stoppable their king, because he is terrified of monkeys.
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you can't read about mine. People are afraid, rightly so, to print the truth about ninja monkeys.
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I only wish we couldn't read about your ninja monkeys, e. You can't go a day without mentioning them.
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Hey pal, you brought them up in this thread. You reap what you sow. (or is that rip what you sew....)
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Well, all this talk of ninja monkeys and the reminder of how that quote from Kim Possible brought me so much joy has induced me to change my quote for the time. So now all of you can be warned about fighting destiny--remember, it's just not done!
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I hope that those on TWG who are going to CONduit this evening and will be able to hear EUOL read as a published author for *the first time ever* will post on here how it goes for those of us who are unable to make it do to prior babysitting engagements, insufficient funds, or insurmountable distance (i.e. those who are out of state).
That would be much appreciated. :)
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Have so much freaking fun your head a'splodes!