Room with a view

[mambaramba]

Ok, don't shoot me if I actually read this joke on this forum in the first place...

During a visit to the Mental Asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug." Do you want a room with or without a view?

[Peter Ahlstrom]

Yay for joke spam!

This was forwarded by my dad...

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel hears his plea and appears to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules.

The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter seeing the suitcase says, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"

But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."

St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, "You brought pavement?!!!"

[Faster Master St. Pastor]

Lol, thats the funniest thing I've heard all week.

[Tink]

I just want to know what this guy thinks he'll be able to buy in heaven. Money isn't worth anything if there isn't anything to buy, right? And I say currency is good deeds. It's what builds your mansion in heaven--not gold.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

wow. YOu are taking that far too seriously.

[FirstMateJack]

Two friends are standing in the park next to one of the man's Audi's. During conversation the owners friend proceeds to sit on, and dent the hood to the car. The man then exclaims, Hey! That's my Audi!
To which his friend replies, really? It looks like an Inny!


Hahahahahahaha.