It could just be because I'm not getting much connection to Kale's character just yet, but his callous killer act is starting to feel a little overdone. He's the dark, brooding killer who doesn't just the kill the guard but kicks the corpse
contemptuously down the street, etcetera.
I lose track of what's happening quickly after Kale is confronted by the Helmsmen in Asper's home. Kale is studying someone pathetic in front of him--one of the Helmsmen? I would assume that he's referring to the barfing guys, except there are two of those. Then he turns away and you write that "the unruly Helmsmen were gone", but just after you finsh that sentence one of the helmsmen addresses Kale.
Glass showering overtop of Kale's head should give him a fair few cuts.
We have no idea what Kale's escape from the castle entailed or how long it's taken him to get where he is now.
I find it odd that the two disappeared/drunk Helmsmen didn't stay to help their fellows. Alternatively, if they were that frightened, why didn't the just buzz off when they had the chance?
Since as far as I can recall you didn't use chapter headings at the start of any other chapters, this poem at the top of chapter four sticks out a bit, especially because of its length. It's not a huge problem, but it still might be better to keep it consistent. You may also be able to conve y what you want with a smaller excerpt, which would probably feel less noticeable.
I'm starting to wonder a bit about the Darkness: how quickly does it go through Taken souls? is it a sentient being? These aren't questions that I need the answers to right now, but at this point in the story, wih the magic being so prominent, we need to start getting some information fairly soon.
The dream/flashback sequence seems a little too easy as a revealing device; partially because it's--well, not overdone necessarily, but done often; and partially, I think, because of the quanitity of information we get here. It still reads a bit like an infodump, and if nothing else dreams aren't usually that coherent. Nor do we necessarily need to get all of this information at once; you can string us along for a long time on bits and pieces provided that they're the right bits and pieces.
Speaking of the right bits and pieces, some of the information here raises some interesting questions. The most prominent one in my mind right now is just who the heck is Kale, if these guys have come to him asking him--expecting him--to reignite a war. Again, this is a question that doesn't need to be answered right away--in fact, in this case, it's probably better if you don't.
Still in the dream sequence, Kale seems to take a rather quick turnabout from angry defiance to "yes, I'll do anything". Since I get the impression that he was genuinely resisting at first and not just spewing defiance for form's sake, his sudden switch to obedience doesn't ring true. All they did was grab his arms--at least have them rip off his wife's shirt or something.
Another thing i'm starting to wonder--what are these peoples' views on an afterlife? Specifically, I'm wondering how these people view the afterlife for those whose souls have been Taken. This isn't information that I would put in the absolutely-must-have camp for right now, but it
would be nice to give us some context for the death of Kale's wife.
I'm still not there with Kale. Probably because I'd already figured on him having a tragic, tortured past (and as Frog pointed out, we've seen him commit atrocity after atrocity by this point). While I see that this is an important part of him, I would rather know more about his motivations and feelings now, at the time the story takes place, since that's something we know almost nil about.
I had the same comment as Frog did about Kale's becoming a Soul Taker--I don't really understand the mechanics behind it, or even if there are mechanics behind it at all.
I also agree with Frog in that by this point, I want a greater sense of the story's direction. I don't know where it's going or what the major conflict is; don't really even have much hint of it.
That's about all from me, hope it helps.