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Reading Excuses / Re: May 23 - Will777r - Soul Yearning - Chapter 1
« on: May 27, 2011, 01:12:58 AM »
A general rule of thumb. Freelance "Editors," usually aren't worth the spit you should be throwing at them. A book doesn't need a hook via action. It needs a hook via emotion if you're using a hook at all. You cna probably get a lot more milage out of Albione if he's doing priestly things like comforting and praying with soldiers who are coming to him in fear of the ensuing battle, then by moving right into the action. And also action doesn't necessarily mean violence, it just means "make stuff happen." With the above scenario, and I'm not trying to tell you how to write your book, the actions of Albione being a priest and having to deal with priestly things like: I'm supposed to be supportive and I know telling them God is going to help us win today will make them fight better, and I know I'm supposed to tell these guys there's a place in heaven for them, but I know Joe over there beats his wife and Sam there cheats on his. Both of them are running a racket on the other soldiers too.
That kind of thing creates tension because it puts the priest in an immediate conflict with his position. Lie, essentially, to keep up moral and maybe have more people live, or tell the truth and drop some of the moral and risk people dying. to a normal person this might not seem too bad of a choice, but to a priest . . . I think you see where I'm going with that. My point isn't to tell you what to write, but to give you something to give you ideas. This kind of thing gives us a great look at the religion since our hero is a priest, and how it fits into the lives of the soldiers. It tells us a lot about Albione and how he treats his faith and how he uses it. Gives us character, conflict, and plot because of the coming fighting. On top of that, it's more interesting and when the fighting starts we get to see how he reacts to the fighting, how he fights, and how his previous decisions play out.
That kind of thing creates tension because it puts the priest in an immediate conflict with his position. Lie, essentially, to keep up moral and maybe have more people live, or tell the truth and drop some of the moral and risk people dying. to a normal person this might not seem too bad of a choice, but to a priest . . . I think you see where I'm going with that. My point isn't to tell you what to write, but to give you something to give you ideas. This kind of thing gives us a great look at the religion since our hero is a priest, and how it fits into the lives of the soldiers. It tells us a lot about Albione and how he treats his faith and how he uses it. Gives us character, conflict, and plot because of the coming fighting. On top of that, it's more interesting and when the fighting starts we get to see how he reacts to the fighting, how he fights, and how his previous decisions play out.