(And now I will return this thread to it's original purpose. Honestly, it's like a wayward child--in need of constant attention!) 
[first lines]
Narrator: For some odd reason, lost in the mists of time, there's an extraordinary shortage of last names in Wales. Almost everyone seems to be a Williams, a Jones, or an Evans. To avoid widespread confusion, Welsh people often add an occupation to a name. For example, there was Williams the Petroleum, and Williams the Death. There was Jones the Bottle, and Jones the Prize Cabbage... which described his hobby and his personality. Evans the Bacon, and Evans the End of the World. But one man's name was a puzzle, and it wasn't until I was 10 years old that I asked my grandfather about the man with the longest and most enigmatic name of all.
Grandfather: [to the narrator at age 10] The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain? Now there's a long name for you. And a long story. You are not going to fidget, are you? For this is a story... an epic story. Yes, epic.
...
[Betty is cutting flowers from the garden]
Reginald Anson: They're pretty.
Betty: Mmm, yes. Not as pretty as me. ...YOU'RE supposed to say that.
--The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Mountain, starring Hugh Grant.
(Sorry a little long, but they were so great.)
