I would like to argue that Cheeze doodles are inferior to the far more tasty Cheeze wiggles. Three points:
First, Cheeze Doodles are inherently self-contradictory in the way that they pretend to be doodles when, in fact, they are scribbles. Everyone can tell this from the definition of scribble and doodle, which I have conveniently referenced from the Ultimate-Dictionary-Of-EUOL-Coolness, leaving out all the definitions that do not agree with me.
Second, Cheeze Doodles are poor imitations of the true cheeze snack, cheeze wiggles, because cheeze wiggles were invented and marketed three months before cheeze doodles were released. Cheeze doodles were created as a marketing ploy, and their cheep attempt at commercialization offends my superior artistic sensibilities.
Third: I like cheeze wiggles better. And, because I am me, my preferences are always superior to everyone else’s. Therefore, I must be right, and cheeze wiggles must be the preferred snack.
Sorry. Just thought I should play in character.
