Thoughts While Reading:
You're telling me about eating breakfast... again. Remember to start late and get out early.
Not seeing much point to the first scene except maybe the pain at the beginning (Is Lord Voldemort coming?
)
Why is he asking Tristan? It didn't seem like they parted company on the best terms in the last chp...
"His ability to finish the sentence was interrupted by the fact that the rider had planted a sword in his gut." Sentence seems overly long for a sudden sword thrust.
"The camp was thrown into utter chaos." How? Show us, don't tell us.
"Why was it not on his belt? "I do not bloody-rutting believe it," Aermyst said wonderingly." He thinks it, then he says it, pick one. Nice Twist though.
Did he completely forget his sword then? Seems a little out of character... At first I thought someone had taken it somehow...
Nice image with the tent pole and the horse.
Oh, a Tristan POV, this could get interesting...
Okay, if your going to do a different POV, they really need to add something to the 'conversation' rather then just summing up what already happened...
Now we have Marlin. First off, I was impressed by slight change in style that seemed to fit the character of a young boy and I do remember you telling us that he would be important, but really this seems an awkward way to do it. I have no emotional attachment to the boy, what he is doing doesn't seem to change the overall outcome of the fight very much, so really it just seems an irritating break from the character I am worried about, Aermyst.
Fulcrum, that's a new one. I like it! It does beg the question of why we aren't at the 'fulcrum of the battle' with Aermyst rather then sitting back with our buddy Tristan.
Zeal is suddenly very talkative when they were playing up the dark and mysterious before.
Did the 'big bad' just say 'silly?'
"I do believe he means me." Tristan stood behind him and to the right, walking up to Zael. "Sit down before you fall down," he said, and shoved Aermyst to the ground."
Tristan the superhero! Love it!
Overall impression:
I liked the chapter a lot and you seem to have a better control of the action sequences compared to the 2 chp, but you switch POV too much IMO. It
is a cool effect when used in moderation, but all it seemed to do in this instance is prolong the scene. I would suggest cutting out anything with Tristan where he is just watching Aermyst (because we already got those parts) and introducing Marlin as a POV character somewhere else. You can still discribe some of his important action, it just didn't seem to be the best place for a brand new POV IMO. It also makes me wonder about that last chp. Sure, we got the cool ruin flying around, but other then that it didn't seem to add much to the story other than to delay the fight scene we were all expecting. Only you can say if that is really the case, but that's how it seems to me right now.
Great Job!