Timewaster's Guide Archive

In short, I liked it. A lot.

A couple of things:

I'm not sure what has happened before this, of course. This is the first chapter of yours that I've read. Does the main character come from a different planet or something? I just wondered if that was the reason you have him so strongly contrast with everything else that seems so medieval in the setting and dialogue with other characters.

Second, I have to agree with the others. The descriptions during the fight scenes, while helpful, are somewhat jarring. When you get around to editing it, I'd suggest taking each movement separately, and trying to find one sentence, two at most, that really shows us what's happening. That way we still get your expertise on the fighting scenes, but we're not as easily taken out of the scene by too much description.

As to the scene with the Sigil Knight. I enjoyed the battle. The only line I had a problem with was

"it is said that no mortal man or army has ever defeated one.”

I think that clues us in a little too quickly to the knight's demise. We know that they're going to defeat this thing in the exact same sentence that we learn it even exists. Maybe increasing Kajsa's fear of the Knight would be more effective than this line at all, especially after Kail has just seen her ripping heads off. Maybe he can think about how bad this Knight must be if someone that just destroyed an entire room of dudes is shivering scared. Also, after the battle, I think they should both just barely escape with their lives like Falcon said. I DO really like the idea of the blonde shooting her with the arrow though. Nice work!

In short, I'm a big fan of this, and want more. Gimme, Gimme!!

Well, it sounds like the issue with the Third person to First person switch worked, at least. Honestly, I'm a little bummed out at my own execution of the story right now, but I'll get over it.

Looks like the next thing I need to worry about is getting the info lumps out of my background potatoes, or something like that. I'll note it and move on.

I've decided to just write for a while, just typing from point a to b, not trying to polish anything until the novel's done. So it might be a while until I submit again. If you're craving the story, just drop me a line and I'll email it to ya as I get things finished. Warning, it will probably be a lot rougher than it is right now, sadly enough.

Whoa, depression rears its ugly head. I need to go get some sleep and stop being bummed out about my writing. This is my first time ever trying to write anything, for heaven's sake. Off to bed to regroup.

Oh, and as always, I truly do appreciate the feedback. You guys are turning me and my book into something much better than we both started as.

Just join up. If nothing else, it gives you free stuff to read when you're bored

I'm not asking what an outline is, I'm asking how each of you does it when you're working on a story or novel.

For me, I break it all down, Dwight V. Swain style, into scenes and sequels. I start at the beginning of my story and make sure that I've got scenes and sequels from beginning to end. If I can have a character with a goal, a conflict, a disaster, a character's reaction to that disaster, a dilemma and a decision, then I feel confident I can write that scene and sequel, and I move on to the next. It takes some time, but it works for me.

I'm super interested in seeing how everyone else outlines their stuff though, so please reply.

As always, rip it apart gentlemen. I especially would like to know things about setting, dialogue, and showing vs. telling. You guys are fantastic, now please tear me a new one.

I'm glad someone enjoyed it. ha ha.  I was beginning to think no one either got it or liked it.

I don't think I'm a fan of any one type of computer over another, really. I've only owned a Dell and a Gateway, though, and they've both worked wonderfully, so I've got no complaints. My grandfather owned a HP way back in the day though, and that thing must have been leprous. Things were practically falling out of the case within a few weeks.

Agreed. RSS Feeds are nice.