Timewaster's Guide Archive

General => Everything Else => Topic started by: 42 on March 11, 2005, 05:21:11 AM

Title: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: 42 on March 11, 2005, 05:21:11 AM
So my sister has returned from Russia, and I'm learning all kinds of new stuff about the country (or at least about the Urals area of Russia).

Essentially, Russia is in pure chaos and anarchy.

Fortunately, my sister kind of looks Russian so she faired reasonably well. (Probably the only time in her life where being blonde-haired, blue-eyed and pale will be an advantage.)

But things I have learned.

In Russia, car drives you. Also, they don't paint lines on their roads.

In Russia, Russians complain about liquor from other countries. Apparently none of it is as hard as Russian beverages, and Russians say they just can't seem to get drunk off of anything other than Russian' Alchohal.

In Russia, beer is used as baby formula.

In Russia, drinking outside during the winter is prohibited. There is a problem there of people passing out while drinking outside during the winter and freezing to death (usually in just a couple of hours).

In Russia, foreigners are required to leave the country every six months. Also foreigners must have government approval if they stay in any city longer than 3 days.

In Russia, old people on pensions aren't faring to well.

In Russia, the far east (Siberia) is a lot like the Old Wild West of U.S. of A., just colder.

In Russia, radioactivity is a life-style choice, not an environmental hazard.

In Russia, families get to enjoy spacious 2 room apartments. (2 rooms meaning 2 rooms, not 2 bedrooms.)

In Russia, they still have cool furry hats.

In Russia, the U.N. is a big pain in the %*!#.

So my sister absolutely loves Russia, but she's glad to be back in the U.S.
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 11, 2005, 08:53:44 AM
St Petersburg has lines on some of the streets.
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: JP Dogberry on March 11, 2005, 09:22:06 AM
Yeah, Russian Vodka is good Stuff.

And Anarchy isn't Chaos.
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: Spriggan on March 11, 2005, 09:24:43 AM
that's why he said Anarchy and chaos, the two are usealy found together JP.  And no, we're not going to get into "what is Anarchy" again.
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: JP Dogberry on March 11, 2005, 09:34:42 AM
No, but I *AM*  going to get into the Vodka again.
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: Spriggan on March 11, 2005, 09:46:34 AM
In Russia you don't Drink Vodka, Vodka gets into you! He He He He.

http://www.yakov.com/
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: JP Dogberry on March 11, 2005, 09:47:17 AM
It's much funnier after drinking vodka.
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: 42 on March 11, 2005, 09:50:42 AM
I think in Russia, Beer, Vodka, Wine, ect... are all the same thing.

I hear that St. Petersburg and Moscow are actually rather nice. The further east you go, the more things fall apart aparently.
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: Spriggan on March 11, 2005, 09:52:49 AM
Quote
It's much funnier after drinking vodka.


[accent] You just don't have taste for good Russian Joke.[/accent]
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 11, 2005, 09:59:21 AM
Vodka is for whiney western capitalist swine! Drink 200 proof alcohol!
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on March 11, 2005, 12:48:52 PM
Oh, NOW she comes back. Well then, humph. Either way I'm glad she enjoyed Russia. Hopefully one day, I'll be awesome enough to go to Russia too.
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: 42 on March 11, 2005, 07:17:53 PM
In Russia, a bottle of vodka gets you driver license, marriage license, full pardon, whatever you like. Just no passport.

(Actually, this is how many of the people my sister knew got their drivers' license. Unless they were foreigners.)
Title: Re: Memoirs of the KGB
Post by: Oldie Black Witch on March 11, 2005, 07:37:46 PM
It's also the preferred method of payment for medical services (such as they are).