Thanks for the critiques guys!
Thanks for your opinions about the name calling, I felt like it went overboard, especially when Kale joined in. Even though it does kind've fit his character, because he was really really annoyed, I thought it was over the top. But I'm gonna keep it for the thief boy, because it fits perfectly with his character, as you will find out later.
I will also elaborate a lot more on Kale's past, but this is only the 3rd chapter from his POV, so I'm trying not to elaborate too much yet, but I see your point, and I always have trouble with "Show don't tell"
The one thing that hit me was that, capture aside, it seems almost too easy for Kale. Yeah, he's this great powerful guy who can do things others can't because of his fearsome soul-taking powers, but that just tells me they should take more care around him- perhaps especially since he's their prisoner. I can see him taking on the one guard, but really... sending ONLY one? Not tying him up before trying to move him anywhere at all? No show of overwhelming force (if only by what he can hear of the numbers of men around him) to make him more compliant?
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They didn't know he was a Soul Taker, these are just *common* thieves(...as far as you know) they tried to rob him while he slept, and he ended up taking out two of them, but he DIDN"T use his powers to do it, and as well, these guys are pretty arrogant, they assumed he was no threat. Like you're saying, BIG MISTAKE
The black hood- strictly speaking, if it was stitched to his neck with wire, he shouldn't be able to eat anything at all. And a person dies within three days of being denied fluids from dehydration- just so you know. This also seems like a good opportunity for a little torturing on the part of his captors, should they be so inclined- but they may not be.
LOL!! Yes, well, you are quite right, he can't really eat. BIG mistake on my part, for some reason I forgot he had a hood sewed on...As for dehydration, well, for him, there are ways around that, which I shall edit into that chapter, but as a Soul Taker, he is quite special in ways beyond awesome combat.
- I considered torture, and then realized that it's out of character for the captors, again, more will be explained...
And I've got to admit: I'm a little surprised he'd go to work for the same people who sent a Soul-Taker after his family. Maybe it's just economics (he's still got to eat, after all), but there should be some conflict there that we're not seeing. Maybe it's swallowed up by general misery at his present state, but there are times when he seems almost proud of his abilities. Maybe it's just that I came late to the story to begin with, and your updates have been pretty sparse, but it seems like his character is still pretty fluid- like you're still playing around with different aspects and it's not a whole picture yet. Just something to think about.
Actually, he's not working for them, I don't think that I hinted at that at all ever,
, why do you think that, I definitely don't want to be construing that.?
And yes, at times he is proud of his abilities, but he also hates them, he's pretty complex in a lot of ways, I'm having trouble getting a 'whole picture' of his character. It's quite hard, he surprises me at every turn.
Sorry if I went on a bit there, I just wanted to correct some of your misconceptions( not defending my writing, I just want you to know for future references
)