There has GOT to be a better alternative than this stupid system of dating espoused by our modern LDS (and non-LDS) society.
Personally I've decided on something that I will use the next time I see someone I'm actually interesting in getting to know better for the purpose of mate selection evaluation: date splitting. I'll ask her out and provide for whatever it is I want to do on the date. But then if she wants to go out again, she has to be the one to ask. And she has to provide for everything on the second date. And if there is to be a third, then it's my turn. And so forth. Also, if any girl happens to ask me out (Society Forbid), then I will expect her to privide for it and be quite happy to return the favor for date #2. [I have yet to decide whether in this system 2 dates should be mandatory in all fairness.]
Why would I prefer this system over dutch? This also should help to avoid the huge lying game (lying meaning not telling the truth--for whatever reason, even if the truth might hurt someone's feelings) that mainly girls and sometimes guys resort to when it comes to dating. If you get asked out, it means the person is interested in you. If not, they're not interested. (That's why I'm not sure about making 2 dates mandatory.)
And then something that would maybe be enough of a different problem that it would do for a separate thread, but--it sucks how it's impossible to tell if someone is even interested in looking to get married, or even if they are already seriously dating someone else. Now, in Lois McMaster Bujold's Vorkosigan books there's a very interesting system mentioned approximately twice that is used by the Betans--the very liberal planet--where girls will wear different kinds of earrings signifying their status: looking for something serious, looking for something casual, involved in a serious committed relationship, etc. No mention of whether guys wear earrings too (such would be only fair), but something like this would be a great improvement over our current absence of any signs beyond the engagement/wedding ring thing. I'm not suggesting that earrings would be the best way to do it but it's something that would make the answer quite obvious and it seems to me it would be quite effective.
Okay, I guess there's one more thing. People always criticize me for saying I'm looking for a tall girl, 6'+. Hey, if something else happens, if someone asks me out and I end up hitting it off famously with her and we click and all but she doesn't fit what I thought I was looking for, I'm all cool with that. But that doesn't mean I don't have something I'm looking for. There's things I find attractive, and things I don't find attractive. Not necessarily that I find those things unattractive--though there are some things I find unattractive--but that they're just not things I care about. There's things I don't care about and things I do. Why do I find those things attractive or not? I have only very foggy ideas on that. And I also feel I am opening myself up to even MORE ridicule if I mention what else I look for. What's the big deal there? I'm not looking for someone perfect, but all of the things I'm looking for exist in plenty of women out there, though I've yet found few who have the right combination. Do I expect I'll eventually marry someone who does have that combination? It seems unlikely. Frankly I am dubious any marriage involving me as one of the parties will happen during this lifetime, but there's that one saying--if you can find someone who will satisfy 80% of your needs, you're in very good shape. So hey, miss 80%, if you ignore my hair (or lack thereof) there's surely something I can overlook. (Or if you LIKE my hair (or lack thereof) then there's probably some other need I won't fulfill--perhaps the ability to enjoy Rosencranz and Guildenstern are Dead, for instance.)
Argh. Here's really what I'd prefer: a national mandatory database of people who want to get married, where you say exactly what you're looking for, and a computer hooks you up. Lying punishable by stiff fines--but other than that it would be free. The church should run it.
Anyway this seems sufficiently ranty. I'd be interested to hear what people think about my website idea. Though I'd prefer not to put effort into a website right now, actually. Alas.