Timewaster's Guide Archive

What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got? (Courage)

Cowardly Lion, Wizard of Oz

Jason Nesmith: What? What was that?
Alexander Dane: Uh, nothing.
Jason Nesmith: I heard some squealing or something.
Gwen DeMarco: Oh, no. Everything's fine.
Teb: But the animal is inside out.
Jason Nesmith: I heard that! It turned inside out?
Teb: And it exploded.

Also from Galaxy Quest

EUOL--I'm not sure if having your publicist call is always better than calling yourself.  After all, your publicist is in charge of a whole slew of people, not just you.  Also, you can offer to do personal interviews, etc.  I would suggest at least calling your publicist back and finding out how things went.

Come on.  Stop trying to hit me and hit me.

--Morpheus, The Matrix

Don't email--call.  Try to find out the phone number and actually talk to them.  It's much harder to ignore a person talking in your ear than a random email from a stranger.  And you can do more convincing that way, too.

So I've just finished reading over the first two chapters in both POVs.  I'd have to say the shift to first person doesn't work for me.  First of all, I personally think that one of the advantages of first person in a YA novel is that it connects to the readers--it purports to be written by a kid like them.  This advantage is lost with your approach, because you have Alcatraz writing the book as an adult recalling things that happened to him as a child.  This was done extensively in pre-YA days.  It was a genre referred to as a Boy Book.  Huck Finn broke that mold, and returning to it . . . I just don't dig it.  Not that you're writing a Boy Book, but I think there's a reason it was done away with.

Secondly, as you have it right now, it feels like a third person POV that's been changed line by line into first person.  I would say that if you really want to give it a go as first person, then a total rewrite would be necessary.  It only took you like two weeks anyway--what's another two or three?  First person is a different beast than third, and there are some things that work well in third that don't in first.  For example, I think your witty hook at the beginning works in third, but not in first.  I got too confused by all the leaps every which way from one time to another.  First person doesn't handle flashbacks and flashforwards well.

Then again, I know you've said you're not wholly comfortable with first person.  I'm not sure your agent's idea to switch it is the best approach if it's not a technique you're comfortable with.  I'll have to read the book in third to see about the Lemony Snicket parallels, and then maybe I can give you my two cents on how--and if--you really need to change them for the market.  But first I think I'll finish Elantris--I just did this to give you some more immediate feedback.  Peace, Love, Dope.  (Can anyone name that film?)

It's true.  Chimera likes chocolate.  Of course, I was the one who sent out the email declaring that EUOL was having a party, and that Chimera was to bring the food, Holly the drinks, EUOL the plates and silverware, and Kimball the napkins.  I was in charge of announcements and eating.  As I sent the email about two hours before the writing group, I thought it was pretty clearly a joke--but they all brought their assignments.  So now they seem to believe I should bring food next week?  Is that fair?

I went up with EUOL on Friday and attended all the panels he presented on.  He'll have to speak for himself, but I can say that he represented himself well.  On one panel, he was up there with Dave Wolverton, L.E. Modesit, and Shannon Hale talking about heroic flaws.  It was a fantastic panel.  At his reading, he had about six or seven people come.  He read the first chapter of Elantris.  I don't know about the rest of the days--I wasn't there.