That's something I've been trying to work on myself, MoD--focusing on the positive, controlling what I can control (my own behavior) and letting go what I can't control (anything to do with people or situations outside myself).
This week has been one of renewal for me, actually. My last semester really threw askew pretty much everything in my life--physical health, emotional, spiritual, etc. So this week I've been focusing on going to bed earlier, getting up earlier, exercising before work, reading my scriptures in the morning. I also started the week with what I consider a true Sabbath--I had been getting lazy and when I'd come home from church, sit on the couch and turn on the TV. I decided to leave it off and spend the afternoon reading scriptures, writing in my journal, working on family history, etc. And then I was invited to a baptism that evening, which made it an even better Sabbath. It's been a really great reminder to me of how much of a difference inviting the Spirit in every single day makes to not only my spiritual well-being, but also my emotional well-being.
There's a wrench in this works which you all might have some thoughts on. So we have Institute class tonight, a January Tues-Thurs class. I can't go on Tuesdays because of tutoring, but on Thursdays I do want to go. I like going to Institute but it's rarely at the top of my list because of other things I'd like to spend my energy on, but I want to go to this. I had gone to a couple at the beginning of last semester but quickly dropped them because of all I had to do.
So this morning my roommate accused me of insincerity in wanting to go to Institute, because she says I'm only going because there's a guy there that I like. A nice fringe benefit, sure, but not the reason I'm going. I am wearing makeup today for that reason, sure, and maybe I'm wearing a nicer sweater than I might have if I wasn't going to see him there, but the root of the reason I'm going is because I really do want to reorganize my life so I'm concentrating on the things that are most important to me.
Should I have just showed up in ratty jeans (despite it being that I'm wearing the nice outfit to work as well, trying to be more professional at work now that I'm not just a grad student making a few extra dollars, but someone that wants a full-time job here)?
I'm annoyed and hurt that she would accuse me of being that shallow, when I'm honestly trying to do something about bringing a discipline back in my life that I've been missing. It so happens that this guy, a close friend of mine, is quite a disciplined person and a good example, but I think I'm mature enough of a person to be able to distinguish between my own personal goals and romance, and to be able to have them coexist. Does this make sense?