Timewaster's Guide Archive

I believe it's a word.  I just don't believe that it's a word I care about.

I've never viewed Lovebasket as particularly mellow.

I was there a good twelve or fourteen hours before you slackers, which isn't that long except my only company were the aforementioned potheads.

Why camp?  Can't you get the tickets on Fandango?

By the way, Fell - I think I was the one who did most of the camping for Star Wars I.  You just showed up at the end and pretended you were neat.

Here's my favorite Churchill quote:  "The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter."

From what I hear, the kid playing Harry will not be returning for the remaining movies (he'd be thirty by the time the seventh probably).  Is there any word about the other actors?  Obviously, they need a new Dumbledore.

Okay, so don't roll your eyes.  We all know that Braveheart is as historically accurate as George Washington crossing the Mississippi on Easter morning.

Anyway, I just got a tabletop game for review called "The Hammer of the Scots" and it has a long article indicating exactly how extremely incorrect the movie really was.  We all know it's wrong, but here are the details:

1:  Wallace's immeadiate family was NOT murdered when he was a child.  His brother Malcolm survived the war and his other brother John was executed in 1307 (after Wallace's death in 1305).  His father was killed by the english, but not until a few years before the war.

2:  Wallace did not spend his childhood abroad.

3:  There is NO evidence that the English lords practiced Prima Noctre.

4:  Wallace's invasion of England was more of an extended raid than an invasion.  He never got anywhere near York.

5:  Edward I did not throw his son's lover out of a window.  He was executed by English nobles in 1312, five years after Edward II had the throne.

6:  (My Favorite)  Wallace did not have an affair with Edward II's wife, because she was only 1 year old in 1297.  She didn't marry Edward until 1308, three years after Wallace died.

7:  John 'the Red' Comyn was not bribed by Edward to abandon Wallace on the battlefield at Falkirk.  Most likely he felt insulted for having such a small role in the battle and left before the fighting started.

8:  Wallace did not attempt revenge on Comyn fo Falkirk.  In fact, with Wallace on the run, the Comyns actually took leadership of the rebellion and Wallace is known to have assisited them in diplomatic missions to France.

9:  Robert the Bruce did not fight on Edward's side at Falkirk.  He was more than 50 miles away, in command of his own army against the English.  Likewise, he had nothing to do with Wallace's capture in 1305.  In fact, he appeared to be in league with Wallace and was eventually charged with treason.

So, what exactly is the movie based on?

True.  The only sports topic that lasted longer than two posts was something Charlie brought up about the difference between american football and the rest of the world's football.  And that wasn't really a sports topic at all - more of a colliding cultures thing.

You're all a bunch of nerds.

By the way Tage, when did I stop being Mustard and become 'Fellfrosh's brother?'