Timewaster's Guide Archive
General => Rants and Stuff => Topic started by: Maxwell on December 01, 2005, 10:24:08 PM
-
I find myself at a crossroads, in the past two weeks no less then 6 of my friends have gotten drunk and accidently slept with each other(not at the same time) I've been frantically trying to help them sort out their lives and cart a couple of them to planned parenthood because they are "late" and they don't want anybody to know and at the same time one of my best friends has died, i'm up to my neck in my own problems, i have endless homework and a promise to keep, two books to write, and a personal life to sort out... any suggestions(other than suicide)
-
I have two suggetions:
1. Pray.
2. Get SE and his ninja monkeys to 'encourage' your friends to stop being idiots.
Good luck! ;) hope things get better.
-
Before I issue any advice, I have to say, I'm sorry, that really sucks about your friend man. There isn't a whole lot to be done about that, you just have to hope that it fades with time. Beyond that though, I would say:
1. Maintain control, if you approach things calmly, you have a much better chance of dealing with them.
2. The books can wait a bit. If you don't have the time to write them right now, that is perfectly understandable. On the other hand, it could help you to work through some of the problems you are going through. You have to decide on that one.
3.Talk to your friends. Tell them that the stuff they are doing is ridiculous, and it needs to stop, because it isn't just affecting them, it is affecting everyone. Be a friend, but at the same time, make sure they get how serious you are.
4.I don't know how good you are at multi-tasking and getting things done quickly, but you could try working on homework in school, and during lunch, if need be.
5.Keep your promise if possible. I may be out of line in saying this, but I have found that it is a very good policy to keep your promises if at all possible. Not only does it make people trust you, but I would imagine that you will get some pride from knowing that you kept your word.
6. Personal life. I don't know well enough about this to be too specific, but it seems like you just need to roll with the punches and weather the storm for a while.
In all probability, that is little consolation, but you should know that wounds will heal, and things will get better sooner or later.
-
well yeah I'm not ussually one to freak out...becuase when I do my friends fall apart, i tend to remain static(I can't afford the luxury of being upset) I'm just a little annoyed that I've been to planned parenthood twice this week and that I have to go again tomorrow,,,they'll probably give me frequent shoppers card... and then there's the whole psi thing, it's really hard to find the perfect taco in the eye of a sh!tstorm... i just want to know when my life became a friggin soap opera... but yeah this is me venting
-
it's really hard to find the perfect taco in the eye of a sh!tstorm
Yeah, I probably couldn't find one in there either. :)
-
Personally, I think the covering up of something serious like that to these people's parents might not be such a great thing (unless there is an abusive situation). It's a very, very tough thing, but something that should be worked out between family.
Though, that said, I also commend you for being a good friend. It's a tough situation to be in, as the bystander of all these things, and sometimes all you can do is offer what support they'll let you give.
-
Here is my advice, not that you are asking for it.
Take several deep breaths.
Write down what is important to you and focus on those goals for a while.
Remember that you can't control the actions of others. You can advice, voicing your approval or disapproval of their actions and giving suggestions. Still, it is their life,not yours.
Set boundries as to what you will do and will not do. Particularly with regards to other people actions. There are times when it is just best to distance yourself from people who are engaging in destructive behavior so you don't get caught in the cross-fire.
Offering help to other people (specifically friends) is a good thing to do, even when they may not want your help. Just don't get upset or discouraged when they don't accept your help or the help you give doesn't resolve the situation.
Remember that you do have a choice wether or not you are angry, sad, or happy. You may have an initial reaction to something someone does or says, but it is up to you wether or not you stay that way. Focus on good, positive things that make you a better person, not negative things that tear you down.
-
Here's what I do:
Ignore it all
Here's what I do when I actually do something that's not insanely stupid:
Realize that I have little control over much of these things. Even the stuff I've brought on myself, I can no longer control what's going to happen now, I made my choice and I have to live with it. The sooner I accept that I can't control it all, the sooner I can look at it calmly.
Once I realize that, I realize that I can't fix it all. It's going to take a long time to get it all straightened out the best I can. Ages. Sort of the "thousand mile journey begins with one step" sort of thing. I realize that I can only do so much in a given amount of time, and trying to do more than that will only make things worse.
So I do what I can. Usually I find that things get done faster than I expected. if I don't focus on getting it done but just on working on it.
However, you didn't ask for my advice. But, you're doing what you can to help others. And it's hard. I can appreciate that. Life is hard. Life is harder than I thought it would be when I first thought Life's going to be hard. Every once in a while you need to stop and rant about it. Just don't let that get in the way of you throwing yourself back into the storm.
-
life's already hard, and i can't distance myself because they're asking for my help, and dealing with my own problems when other people are having a hard time always leaves a bad taste in my mouth, kind of like i'm being selfish.
-
Survive to fight another day.
-
I think it helps to realize that you're in God's hands. Trust him that he'll help things work out for you in the way that's best, and you'll be okay.
-
um I don't want to be rude or anything, but I'm not christian(or any variation thereof), I'm a selk... we learned a long long time ago not to put much stock in our gods...most of them are incompitent egomaniacle tards...
-
You don't have to be Christian to put trust in God, or Fate, for that matter - the result is essentially the same.
At any rate, what's a "selk"?
-
a group of people that almost nobody has ever heard, probly because there's only like 10,000 of us left on the planet, throughout history we've been hunted by most sects of christianity, mostly the cathohlics, because in the dark ages, actually probly a lot longer than that... they decided we were monsters because we(as an ethnic group) have large sharp teeth grey(colorless) eyes, and due to extremely high iron content our blood is almost black and it takes two to three days for us to get tired rather than one... they only place left where selks live is an unnoficial city(doesn't technically exist) in southern ireland called kairegaine, but we are originally from an area around what was summaria...
-
Interesting. I ask because, looking up selk in Wikipedia simply redirects to Isis. "Kairegaine" brings up nothing. In fact, it brings up nothing on Google, either.
For google, "SELK" is the abbreviation a (Christian) German Church uses. All searches for "Selk people" bring up information on the Selk'nam, an indiginous group of people native to South America.
I can't find anything on the "selk". I wonder why no Anthropologist has done any studies on them - wikipedia, for example, has a very extensive article on Sercquais, a language only spoken by about 15 people. Surely such a phenomenal group of people living in a Western city would warrant further study?
Out of curiosity, what gods are native to the Selks? Have the Selks kept records?
(And do you live in Ireland?)
I'm sorry for all the questions, but you've awakened the Anthropologist within me, and I'm terribly fascinated.
-
JK, TFO is a teenaged kid living in California. He's tried to pull this before. I think he makes this up to see how many people he can get to ask him.
-
pretty much. ;D
a selk is just a relatively scarce ethnic group which experiences a certain emnity with the cathohlics, kinda like the jews. And just to set the record straight, I'm living in california, but I immigrated from ireland a few years ago.
-
See, you're spoiling the fun, Ms. Claus.