May 2 - LongTimeUnderdog - The Canticle and the Forge, Interlude 1

[LongTimeUnderdog]

I apologize for not having any spiffy art for the piece, as indicated.  I haven't had time to do any of it lately.

The give you time and place of the piece, it takes place before Jin'Cathul starts, but right after Karemoth ends.  The interlude between their two stories.  For those of you new to the story, I'm sorry.  I was writing Chapter 17 of the story when i realized information from this interlude would be helpful.  So I am including it before going on.  Chapter 17 is underway (well the third draft of it all anyway).  It's short, close to 1500 words.  I hope there's enough here to like.

[akoebel]

Not much to say about this piece overall. I liked it despite its dark atmosphere.

For the usefulness of the interlude, right now, I can't say if what I just read will help me in the following chapters, as there was nothing obvious (which is a good point). I guess interludes have to be judged after everything is read, as those are the glue holding different parts of the book together.

As I haven't read the first chapters of the book, I didn't know the characters. I'm grateful that you included an enhanced description of the whole book in last week's comments : I would have been lost without them.

Just one question : I suppose that the headache comes from someone writing on his forehead in the real world. You mentioned that this was done with charcoal. If Traxix was to look at his hands in the interlude, would they be stained (as he touched his forehead when the headache began)?

[SkyhunterCommander]

I don't have anything super-specific to say, but I really enjoyed the interlude. I liked being thrown into a dark, surreal setting like that, because the character felt that same way, and I'm pretty sure that's what you intended. I would assume that it's some sort of vision or dream, but I guess we'll find out more later.

I also haven't read the early chapters, (I ready chapter 11 I think, but I haven't had time to read subsequent ones due to school eating my life) but I plan to read them, so I'll understand more. But then again, interludes don't always need that. (So Traxix is not necessarily going to be present throughout the rest of the story, right?)

^^And now that I know about an enhanced description of the book is in the comment somewhere, I can go look it up and catch up.

[LongTimeUnderdog]

Thanks all for reading.  To answer Skyhunter's question, Traxix will actually be making appearances later in the story.  He has a few more interludes to go through.

[Asmodemon]

The return of Traxis, though without the prologue his return is actually the first time I’ve read about him. The shadowy realm of all the fortresses is an interesting one. It raises a lot of questions, just why are all the fortresses connected, what are the fortresses and what is the significance of names – I’ve got some ideas after what I read of the previous draft and it’ll be interesting to see where you go with this.

I don’t have much to remark concerning this chapter, it was short and piqued my interest, but its overall significance isn’t something I can judge yet. One thing that’s apparent, after reading the Jin chapters, is that Traxis’s purple magic effect is probably the same or connected to Jin’s. Being attacked by a woman going for his throat is another similarity with Jin.

Now I’m wondering if the blackness in the mist world is somehow the same or related to the hole in the Shroud. It makes the existence of the latter hole more threatening for the reader. In all a good chapter.