People who don't like stuff I like are boring.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

Am I the only one? Maybe I'm self-absorbed or something. When I'm at church and talk to someone I don't know, and they say "what do you do" and I say "I copyedit Japanese comic books" and they just give me this blank stare and say they do something like social work and aren't into reading books, I just lose all interest in getting to know them better.

I've known people who are fascinated by other people with very different interests and backgrounds. Me, I don't find myself caring at all. Is that wrong?

Is having a bunch of friends who have no interests in common with you preferred over having no friends?

[JP Dogberry]

I know the feeling. I divide people into two types: those interesting, and those not. I care little for those who aren't, and a lot for those who are.  Those who are are further divided into two groups, those interetsing to the geeky part of me (They game or code or something) and those interesting to the writer part of me.(which is pretty much anyone intelligent and original, with a passing interest or better in any type of artistic endeaver.)

Interesting people I make friends with, and have interesting discussions with. Unintersting people I tolerate if necessary, and use my geek skills to prove everything they know is wrong and give them brain haemmerages from having to think the first time in their life, (as is usually the case) or (more frequently) watch their blank stares as I am written off as an idiot for not being immediately comprehensable to the lowest common denominator.

Yep, I'm a geek with a grudge against most of the world.

[EUOL]

I copyedit Japanese comic books

Ha!  I KNEW there was a profession out there that sounded geekier than 'I'm a professional fantasy writer.'

I'm not sure what to make of your 'I don't care about people who don't like things I don't' comment.  However, I think I can respond to your second question.  Are you asking because you're having trouble finding fellow geeks out in California?  Personally, I think it would be difficult to not have friends with similar interests to yourself.  If you found something cool you wanted to share, they wouldn't appreciate it.  That's one of the main reasons to have friends!

Speaking of friends, how're you looking for Worldcon, Ookla?  I'm having trouble finding anyone to share a hotel room with....

[stacer]

I have both kinds of friends. I find that the friends I have little in common with bring me into a wider world, sharing their interests with me so that we eventually have something to talk about the longer we know each other--for example, the girl I go running with from time to time. Though, come to think of it, we have RS stuff in common, and we do tutoring together, and we both work in similar fields (she, social work, and I, children's lit). I find that when I do get to know people on a deeper level, I find we're not so different after all. I've even become good friends with an economist and a physician's assistant, both types of people I've proclaimed in the past that I had nothing in common with.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

well, if it's wrong, a lot of us are wrong. I know my wife can talk to lots of people who she doesn't share interests with. However, Home Teaching has always been a chore because really, how many gamers do you randomly get assigned to? In the history of my membership? One. They don't appreciate video games, fantasy, writing, or comics or medieval/ancient literature, or anything I'm passionate about. And it's hard to relate to them when they try to talk to me about their sporting events. I can't for the life of me comprehend why football or basketball is so important to these people. I'm sure they feel the same way about superheroes, but that's the problem.

Again and again I find people suddenly becoming interested when I tell them I'm writing, but then the conversation dies when I tell them I write fantasy. I imagine if I said political thrillers or detective novels or stuff like Toni MOrrison I'd get a different response... but still...

[Spriggan]

I'm  actualy very goog a feining intrest which I do when it's someone that's a friend.  So phrases like: "Yes EUOL I think a book about prehistoric chipmunks that are unfrozen and terrorize a community of hobbits sounds so intresting!  Tell me more....uh huh......wow.....so the chipmunks kill by singing, Brilliant!"  or for another example: "Yes SE I think putting tu-tus on your ninja monkeys and haveing them attack Dolph Lundgren is just what network TV needs."

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

hey, those are KILTS, not tutus.

[fuzzyoctopus]

I do it too.

My husband was Home Teaching a couple who liked anime.  They were great; we liked them and then they moved to Idaho.
And I'm even assigned to Visit Teach the one woman in my ward who roleplays.  She and her husband are White Wolf ppl and they've been running a Mage campaign.
But she will never talk about it with me.  So I assume she just doesn't like me.


My problem is this: What do you do when you meet someone that you're positive is into geeky things like you are, but you can't think of a polite way to bring it up?

"Hey, now correct me if I'm wrong, but you just look like a huge geek.  So what is it for you?  D&D?  Magic?  Star Trek?  Anime?  Hey, no, don't run away!"

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

ask them if they want to play.

I took a risk with Carl. All I knew was that he was single and military. That, to me, meant gamer. When I asked, he showed me his warhammer and shadowrun collections. Yay!

[Brenna]

Chris jokes about slipping in hints of "geek speak" to ferret out whether or not someone is into the same things we are.  It usually works.

As to the questions asked, I think it's hard to have *close* friends who don't have similar interests, but casual acquaintances that you'd go to pizza with, or something, don't necessarily have to have the exact same interests--that way, you get to learn about new/different things that potentially could be interesting.

[The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers]

CM suggested there being some roleplayer "symbol" or something the rest of the world didn't understand or recognize as special. Then you could set it out on your desk and the only person who'd think anything about it would be a person who likes games, and he'd know to come talk to you about it when you could be more private.

Anyway, you can also look out for games that appeal to gamers AND non-gamers. Looney Labs makes a bunch of good ones. Settlers, actually, even though I'd heard a lot about it from Fell, was actually introduced to me by a non-caming couple in my BYU ward.

[stacer]

I don't think any of the people I'll be playing Settlers with next week really consider themselves gamers. Most actually disdain any sort of timewasting and make a point of always filling their lives with "fulfilling" and "useful" activities.

[fuzzyoctopus]

CM suggested there being some roleplayer "symbol" or something the rest of the world didn't understand or recognize as special.

I agree!  Or a special handshake or code phrase!  Secret combinations, yay!

[Mad Dr Jeffe]

I think we should make and sell a little TWG "geek" pin...

An innocuous little clock or something... so you  can  spot geeks in a crowd.

[42]

I say we sell a special tattoo dye that can only be seen when you are wearing special "geek" glasses.