Dark woods, bad b-movie dialogue, and wild coincidences. That is about the sum of the chapter. dark woods are okay, coincidences are okay, b-movie dialogue . . . . okay that was annoying.
To be more serious (and useful) I shall start at the beginning.
It's actually really well written. The spiffy prose (of which I envy) are the strongest point. On top of that, I was terribly fond of the action (that is the running). The principle character was easy to follow and empathize with. I was perfectly aware of his fatigue. When he dropped the baby off I was less impressed, however.
Once that happened the story became fairly predictable (which is funny to say about a prologue). And by predictable I mean paint-by-numbers type plot twist. The father drops the kid off, the other guys chase him. He dies. They give up looking for the baby (who is obviously significant). Baby is raised in what I'm guessing will be a little village/farm town and learn magic. Baby will then grow up, go on a quest (of sorts) beat the dark lord with her magic, and come home, tired of adventures and death.
Even if the story is about as much like that as sand is like water, that's how I feel when I read the chapter. It's the story of Moses, Elaura Danan (from Willow), Shea Ompsford (The Sword of Shanara), Richard Rahl (The Sword of Truth), heck even my own story takes some elements from this (a note I should take to heart).
Now what I found amusing (and redeeming) was that this "perfect hiding spot," was the usual drop off for children. That's funny in the coincidence but surprisingly believable in that no one else traveling in that hunting party had a clue what was going on. This amusement (good amusement) fell on its face, however, when I read apprentice. I . . .HATE . . . WIZARDS. But as you can see that's just my personal opinion. Alternatively, I will admit that seeing the pictures you drew makes me want to read more. There were some unique points to them (at least from my fashion designing mind) that says "spiffy new world."
And that's I think the main weakness of the piece. We are introduced to several cultural elements and weirdos (two thumbs = awesome) and yes everything around us rings of being stock photos. Dark woods, fleeing father, baby left as a last hope. Yet surprisingly having his wife's body show up made that less predictable and far more interesting. But again, I think the pieces weakness is that we're first hit with the mundane and only catch glimpses of the interesting. I realize its a prologue so I shouldn't think to learn everything so quick though why you need a prologue like this I don't understand. Why can't we just start with Chapter 1?
