Author Topic: Why "No offense"  (Read 5444 times)

sortitus

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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #15 on: September 09, 2009, 09:49:08 PM »
I have a proposal. We must all start saying "mo' offense" tacked to the end of a sentence instead of "no offense" at the start to see if what we're saying could possibly be offensive to the parties the comments are directed at. This works best if it's used in a totally innocuous comment because of the Chaos it may cause.

You are discussing a specific communicative trend observed to take place in everyday conversation on an online forum, mo' offense. Some of you are of a different gender than I, mo' offense. Mo' offense, you have an ugly face and you are stupid.

I really don't know if it works better with the qualifier before the sentence or after. Hmm...
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Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #16 on: September 09, 2009, 10:33:01 PM »
And please don't tell me there is only one way to put forth a specified idea because you can't just think one up off the top of your head...biding your time isn't a bad thing.

Poppycock. What's an inoffensive way to ask someone to use breath mints? How do you tell someone their work is really bad, without giving offense? You know you're just trying to be helpful, but what do they think? Do you spit it out and let it be their problem, or do you try to help them understand your motivations?
Wow, if you ever begin a conversation with someone about an issue like that with "no offense," you're being extremely sloppy and careless. I think you've pretty much proven my point.
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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #17 on: September 09, 2009, 10:43:14 PM »
I prefer the phrase "with offense." I use it regularly.
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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #18 on: September 10, 2009, 12:27:12 AM »
Good for you Bookstore Guy! At least your honest.

I don't know, for some reason I don't have an issue with the phrase. I do however side with ryos here. The useage shows that there is awareness of possible offense. Why is that a problem? The speaker is aware that what they are about to say may be offensive. Its that easy. The phrase isn't intended to be irritating it just ends up being that way. In the end I think that's the problem. Its use irritates people because some people find it lazy or careless while others just find it pointless.

I guess the real answer to the initial question of "Why no offense?" is simple. There are an assortment of reasons. It can be used genuinely by intelligent people (against what some people believe) and it can be used as a catch all "don't blame me for being rude" type of statement. As with many things people say, it in itself is nothing but a phrase. How about if someone said with complete sincerity at the beginning or end of a statement "no offense intended and I apologize if any was taken"? I'm sure that would be better received but in the habit of most Americans we tend to cut things short. Yeah I guess its cold but again I guess this more of one of those "deal with it" type of things anyway.
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firstRainbowRose

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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #19 on: September 10, 2009, 05:34:24 AM »
I do see what you mean with the breath mints thing, but I can still think of a way to say it without using the term "no offense."

I don't think I have ever used that saying, nor do I think I ever will.  I personally hold with Thumper's belief: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.  If someone asks me for their opinion, then the qualifier isn't nessary.  If the person hasn't asked, but I still need to say something, I'll think of a polite way of saying it.  (IE - Hey, do you want a breath mint? OR Do you have a breath mint I can have?  In truth I'll usually use the second, and nine times out of ten the person, if they have one, will pop one in themselves.)

It bugs me though because there are people who are around me who just use it as an exuse to say rude things and get away with it.  And if you do happen to take offense (which, a lot of the time we do), they just shrug and are all like "Well, I didn't mean it offensively" as though we're being the immature ones for it.  (For an example of how it was used.  "No offense, but that's stupid.  Why would anyone want to go there?" <-- In reference to a favorite vacation spot.)

So, while you might not mean offense by comment, just becauses you tack that statement on, doesn't mean that you've got a free pass.  I really do think people need to think things through before saying them.
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GreenMonsta

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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #20 on: September 10, 2009, 06:22:14 AM »
In that respect I completely agree fRR. People often use is as an excuse to be rude and I agree that its not needed.
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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #21 on: September 10, 2009, 06:29:29 AM »
But it can be very useful and fun at times. Like say there's this really annoying person who you want to get rid of, but you don't want the rest of the world to think that you're a jerk. This works pretty well.

I am, of course, kidding. I tend to agree with the sentiment that it's just an excuse to say whatever you want to say.
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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #22 on: September 11, 2009, 09:26:48 PM »
I am on the fence on this one.  I think intent is what matters most.   I think most of us know when someone is trying to hide rudeness vs someone who is being preemptive.  For example: "No offense, but you're fat".  Not only is that offensive, but you also lied.  Now if you say "No offense, but your weight could cause health problems later in life", you are offering constructive criticism on a sensitive subject.  Also, those who say "No offense" at the end of the sentence could genuinely have only realized at the end that what they said could have that affect.  Someone who used to work with me had a job hiring at Disney, and she hired a lot of little people.  One day, when she was working with one of these people, she made the comment along the lines of "let's just take baby steps for now".  Definitely a poor choice of phrase, but she did not mean to be offensive.  It never hurts to give people the benefit of the doubt the first time.

As an offshoot to this, my favorite tack on has always been "With all due respect".  It means absolutely nothing, yet somehow sounds polite, even though 99% of the time you are being anything but.
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Re: Why "No offense"
« Reply #23 on: October 18, 2009, 04:25:28 AM »
As an offshoot to this, my favorite tack on has always been "With all due respect".  It means absolutely nothing, yet somehow sounds polite, even though 99% of the time you are being anything but.

Oh, I think it can be given meaning.  Somehow this little deconstruction of the phrase comes to mind:

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