Author Topic: Awesome voicemail intros  (Read 913 times)

firstRainbowRose

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Awesome voicemail intros
« on: July 23, 2009, 09:30:35 PM »
Okay, so as a lot of you know I do phone survays, and I listen to a ton of voicemail message.  I've heard everything from the name to a couple of fun ones (as well as the usual, annoying "Hello? *minute pause* Hello?! *another pause*  I still can't hear you... but that's because I'm not home.)

What I wanted was to see what some fun ones other people have seen are.  I think my favorite right now would actually have to be my own.

Quote
Hello, you've reached RainbowRose.  The author you are trying to reach is currently off galavanting with my husband.  Leave your name, number and the reason you called with me, and if they get back in time to save my life I'll let her know.  If not... well, you'll know why she didn't call.  Bye bye
"The custom of royalty in referring to oneself is to naturally employ the royal 'we'.  We are very happy, we are very sad, we are bored and suffer from ennui.  For a royal prince there's no such word as 'me', It's always 'we'.  So rightfully I should be two or three, don't you agree?"

Eerongal

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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2009, 09:48:25 PM »
my favorite?

this

I had that as my voicemail for a good long time. They also do a coca-cola one.

(note, i'm assuming this youtube video is what i think it is, as i have no sound at work.)
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sortitus

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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2009, 10:20:11 PM »
My cousin's went something like, "You've reached the [name] residence. Your call may be important to us. If you think it is, please leave a message after the tone and we might get back to you." He had that one for a while there. It was awesome.
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ryos

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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2009, 11:26:46 PM »
One of my roommates from back in the day used to have the following lines from the King of Town's Character Page:

"Hello my loyal subjects! I'm the King of Town. Please remain standing while I finish my speech, and consume the contents of this bowl. *beep*"

Here's one of mine. I try to make fun of how every voicemail message tells you what to do, like we don't all know what a voicemail box is by now. I alternate between thinking it's lame and awesome:

"Hi! You've reached Ryan; or, rather, you would have if I'd picked up when you called. Since I didn't, you're stuck with this recording of my voice, which is a rather poor substitute. But, fear not! For behold, this is a 'Voicemail Box', and you can record a message that will socially obligate me to return your call. You can even fail to pick up when I call, thus evening the score.

P.S. This is an abnormally long voicemail message. Did you know you could have skipped it by pressing 'one'? It's true! Now you know."
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RavenstarRHJF

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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2009, 12:04:09 AM »
This one is way old, from back when cell phones were as large as... well, as a normal phone, and extremely rare.  It was made up by one of my friends.

"Hello, you've reached the washer.  The answering machine hasn't been very reliable since he started dating the blender, so I'm filling in.  Please take all the change out of your pockets and make sure your shirt is turned inside out, and leave a message at the beep."
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Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2009, 07:06:14 AM »
My friend (roommate at the time) changed his voicemail message 5 years ago to:

"You...have reached...computer......leave...message..."

I thought it was hilarious.

He hasn't changed it since then. I still think it's hilarious.
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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2009, 08:49:10 PM »
My cousin's voicemail used to be:

"Hi, this is the Jones' refridgerator.  The answering machine is on vacation right now, but if you leave a message I'll write it on a piece of paper and stick it on myself with a magnet."

My brother used to constantly change his voicemail to various funny things, too, but I don't really remember them.
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Patriotic Kaz

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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #7 on: July 25, 2009, 03:53:56 AM »
My brother had one in which he invited friends over blared music talking in the background and he said, "This is Matt and i am throwing a party you aren't invited too..leave a message at the beep. i thought it was funny in a dark rather disturbing way
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firstRainbowRose

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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2009, 04:55:05 AM »
I heard one yesterday that I really got a laugh out of.

It started out with a whole bunch of kids screaming and yelling.  Then this guy goes "okay, Okay, Okay, OKAY!  ENOUGH!" and adds (after the kids have stopped) "Welcome to my world.  Leave a message."
"The custom of royalty in referring to oneself is to naturally employ the royal 'we'.  We are very happy, we are very sad, we are bored and suffer from ennui.  For a royal prince there's no such word as 'me', It's always 'we'.  So rightfully I should be two or three, don't you agree?"

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Re: Awesome voicemail intros
« Reply #9 on: August 05, 2009, 08:13:53 PM »
Me and a Roommate used to have one that went like this:
Me: Hello, this is Matt.  Steve and I are not home right....
Him: Hey, what are you doing?  I thought this was my week to do the voicemail?
Me: No, you did it last time, go away.
Him: Just because you didn't take your week...
Me: We're not home right now so if you'll leave a...
[Sound of a frying pan hitting something, followed by a soft thud]
Him: Hello, this is Steve.  Please leave a message after the tone.
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