Poll

What do you think of the pun(s)?

There was a pun?
It was one of the worst punishments I've ever had.
Ehh... kinda bad.
Ok, but not awesome.
HILARIOUS!

Author Topic: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!  (Read 7446 times)

sortitus

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I was getting jealous of miyabi's celebration thread (which is awesome, BTW), and I wanted to put this lame pun I made up somewhere when I saw that this here Rants section specifically allows telling stupid jokes. Thank Jark I didn't have to go anywhere else to post. The interwebs are scary. The pun/joke/non-sequitur thingy:

I'm doing my dissertation on humor. In it I prove that there are two kinds of humor: funny and not funny. This statement is the ladder.

I've used it offline to evade telling people what I'm actually doing in college, but nobody got it and/or thought it was funny. I think it works better as a written joke, plus people tend to believe whatever I say, so I hope that it gets a better (or at least more extreme) reaction here.

I made the poll so you can change your answers! Just in case, I guess!

Everybody else, post the puns! This thread is'pun! (Woo! Triple wordplay pun! Raise your hand if you got it!)
« Last Edit: May 08, 2009, 06:59:42 AM by sortitus »
Hero of Ages: Impressive Regality Over Niceness, Y'all
좋아! This time with more ecstatic! 좋네!!! I'll say it again in french! Trois fois voiture!!! Ça va. C'est vrai. C'est bien.
High Knight of the Grand Pie of the Holy Order of Pie, The Left Hand of Pie

The Jade Knight

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2009, 07:01:26 AM »
If you haven't read his work (not sure if it's published yet, if not, contact him), you should read Dallin D. Oaks' work on humour.  Might be right up your alley.
"Never argue with a fool; they'll bring you down to their level, and then beat you with experience."

ryos

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2009, 07:36:19 AM »
He had better be related to Dallin H. Oaks. Otherwise, his parents were just cruel.
Eerongal made off with my Fluffy Puff confections.

The Jade Knight

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2009, 07:45:19 AM »
His son, actually.
"Never argue with a fool; they'll bring you down to their level, and then beat you with experience."

CthulhuKefka

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2009, 03:23:49 PM »
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"


What?  ;)

darxbane

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2009, 05:56:35 PM »
a termite walks into a saloon and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
I wanted to write something profound here, but I couldn't think of anything.

Patriotic Kaz

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2009, 07:48:06 PM »
Wow that one was bad darxbane....i mean that was REALLY bad... worst than blonde jokes :P
"Words are double edged blades. Only the great and the foolish play with knives." - Kaz the Buddah

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readerMom

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2009, 12:22:52 AM »
That is a classic! My 9 & 10 yr old boys were just experimenting with this joke and its permutations.

benvolio3

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2009, 08:19:42 PM »
lol...

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Two silk worms had a race, they ended up in a tie.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

... okay that's all
I'm in a band man!
www.myspace.com/thoughtsinframe

I'm actually only temporarily in the band...

The Jade Knight

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2009, 11:54:51 AM »
So, two man went hunting out in the forest, not far from a major highway.  At one point during their hunt, one of the two men tripped and fell, hitting his head against a rock.  He hit it so hard, that he immediately fell unconscious, and blood started pouring out of his head.  His friend, seeing that his companion was grieviously injured, and worried that the poor man had been killed, immediately pulled out his cell phone and called 911.  On the phone, the following conversation occured:
The man:  "Help!  My friend fell and hit his head, and died!  What should I do?"
Operator:  "Okay.  First, make sure he's dead…"
A second later, a shot resounded over the phone line.
Man:  "Okay, now what?"
"Never argue with a fool; they'll bring you down to their level, and then beat you with experience."

sortitus

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #10 on: May 10, 2009, 06:12:43 PM »
Operator:  "Okay.  First, make sure he's dead…"
I am pretty sure that he dialed the wrong number. Perhaps he was speaking to a mafia operator.

Random sidenote/question: Has anyone here tried dialing "666"? It goes through (in the US), so I'm guessing it's the CIA. ;) This mystery has long plagued me, and I am too chicken to just call and ask who it is in case it's some sort of emergency number/puts you on a hit list.

Now for something completely different:
Mermaid friend who is a girl comforting her friend who is also a girl: Mermen are all sons of fishes.

I don't know. It's not even remotely funny to me either.
Hero of Ages: Impressive Regality Over Niceness, Y'all
좋아! This time with more ecstatic! 좋네!!! I'll say it again in french! Trois fois voiture!!! Ça va. C'est vrai. C'est bien.
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darxbane

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2009, 05:50:46 PM »
Wow that one was bad darxbane....i mean that was REALLY bad... worst than blonde jokes :P

I question your judgement on humor, Kaz.  Some blonde jokes are really funny.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2009, 05:57:49 PM by darxbane »
I wanted to write something profound here, but I couldn't think of anything.

sortitus

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2009, 05:55:18 PM »
(To recycle an ancient pun...) I found your post humerus, darx. Maybe even proximally humerus.
Hero of Ages: Impressive Regality Over Niceness, Y'all
좋아! This time with more ecstatic! 좋네!!! I'll say it again in french! Trois fois voiture!!! Ça va. C'est vrai. C'est bien.
High Knight of the Grand Pie of the Holy Order of Pie, The Left Hand of Pie

darxbane

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #13 on: May 11, 2009, 06:00:30 PM »
Wow, anatomy humor.  :D  How about some Advice puns?  I can only think of one right now:

A wise man once said; "It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it".
I wanted to write something profound here, but I couldn't think of anything.

Eerongal

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Re: The Legendary Traveling Pun Circus! Half pun OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2009, 07:34:02 PM »
I love puns!

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Proverb-type puns:

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.



« Last Edit: May 11, 2009, 10:40:42 PM by Eerongal »
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