Author Topic: CHUCK NORRIS!!!!  (Read 1191 times)

Shaggy

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!
« on: March 11, 2009, 12:07:48 AM »
Today is Chuck Norris's 69th Birthday!!!!!!! This thread is for all those who would like to share Chuck Norris stories/jokes/quips/etc. or other *stuff* about him. I will start:

"Once, Chuck Norris took a trip to the Virgin Islands. When he came back, they were only called 'the Islands.'"

"When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up–he's pushing the earth down."

"Chuck Norris doesn't read; he stares the book down 'til it gives up its information."

"Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch; he decides what time it is."

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."

"Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse."

"Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise."

"There's no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard, only another fist." (–Mike Huckabee)

"Chuck Norris doesn't endorse; he tells America how it's gonna be." (–Mike Huckabee)

"Jesus walks on water. God walks on Jesus. Chuck Norris beats the **** out of both of them."
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