Late Live-Commenting here (ignoring particular spelling/grammar stuff for the most part):
* Some tense inconsistency at the start.
The cat looked up seconds before impact. It had time to snarl, but it would not have time to dodge the blow. * Bit of POV confusion in the start as well. Sentences like this one are a bit iffy to me:
Cindle jumped at the sound of leaves rustling in a faint breeze, before Drynn heard it snarl. Nothing technically wrong, but on first impression it seams the first part is in Cindy's head giving the reason for her action before shifting to Drynn.
* Bit too blow-by-blow-ish so far. A bit more introspection as to what Drynn is feeling might help.
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“What were you thinking of?" - dropping the "of" could make it have more impact. Or maybe "What in [insert setting appropriate curse word] were you thinking?"
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Drynn shrugged helplessly. He had moved purely on instinct; doing the first thing that had come to mind to help Cindle, -- a bit inconsistent since technically if he acted on instinct, he didn't act on the basis of his mind.
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“I’ll just go wash it off. Is there a stream around here that will not attack me?” - I liked that line a lot.
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"pressed down and pulled up at the same time" - not really possible I think, from how the scene is painted: more like, in rapid succession.
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As he stared into it, he chanced upon a random memory: - it doesn't seem random since it relates to his current situation.
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he didn’t know about Cindle’s part in it, - why would Tayvin know that in the first place? Isn't it still something only Drynn and Cindle know?
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Drynn already decided that he could not leave Cindle behind knowing what danger her clan faced and now she had made her case stronger with her efforts to protect him from the panther, but even as he told her that he would leave it to Tayvin to decide he knew that Tayvin would object. He cared too little for the dwarves to even consider allowing his people to think him a goblin prisoner or worse just to help them. He had shown that the day he told Drynn about the war to begin with. Drynn was sure this disregard rooted from misunderstanding, but the point remained. - this is, I think, a very important turning point in the story so far. I think you might want to develop/emphasize this with more than just one paragraph worth of exposition.
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It was easier then verbalizing the lie. - I like this.
* You know, I keep trying to place my finger on what's making the prose a bit off for me, and (while this may be purely a matter of style) it seems you tend to place one or two more words in a sentence or phrase than I would think is necessary: "thinking of?" "He even tried " "Tayvin crouched down" "never stopped ranting for a moment," "Drynn listened silently" etc. Also, I think that the atmosphere of the narrative might be aided by a few more commas - some sentences seem to "rush" forward even if they aren't strictly run-on sentences.
* Dream scene was well done. The conversation seemed to flow more naturally than that between the main characters.
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Drynn let her talk because he knew when she stopped; he would be forced to defend himself. - I liked this.
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a typical shepherd, but to the elves he was quite a thing to look at. - does Drynn know that what he's seeing is a shepard at this point?
All in all, I still like Drynn, but I think I need to see more of the dynamic of the group as a whole. I'd like to see more of Tayvin and Cindle arguing, as the personalities of both have yet to solidify for me. As I said, I liked the dream sequence, but just be careful when using it as an expository tool - since the dreams are clear and vivid, with the speakers identified, if you're not careful it might become an infodump.
Thanks for sharing
