Okay, this is a mix of all your stuff after the prologue.
Thoughts While Reading:
First off, sentences seem a bit fluffy. Like this one: "Brendon swung his legs off the edge of the watery mass that formed the bed he had been sleeping on." Could easily be "Brendon swung his legs off the edge of the watery mass that formed his bed." Or something similar.
I love the concept (I'm biased because elements play a huge role in my magic system too) but this first section reads a bit too much like an infodump. You need some kind of conflict right up front. Doesn't have to be major, but it needs to be there. An argument, an debate or maybe if they actually showed some stress about being late or lack of magical ability; you know, just something.
Sharks ARE fish. Is there a special reason your emphasizing them?
His explanation on Movements lost me a bit, especially since I was under the impression that he couldn't work magic at all... mostly the conversation just doesn't seem to flow naturally enough.
If it is so easy for him to point out the flaws in their defense it is a bit unbelievable. Either he's a super genius or everyone else there are idiots.
Unless your going omniscient, you drop POV when Brandon comes in in Chp 2.
I'm a bit confused on the relationship of the different magical specialties. Are they waring or parts of the same order?
I kind of wish you would have put the scene with him being chosen first. It feels like a good introduction to your world with a very tangible conflict.
Some of the things you mention seem a little out of place to me... Jeans... vermin in the halls....
Overall Impression:
Okay first off I can see lots of potential in your world and in your magic system. It is a lot of fun and it is interesting too. So interesting that I might be able to forgive you a few things like the dreaded blurbs at the beginning that I usually frown on. That said, I saw very few things in the story that gave me a strong feeling for your characters, conflict or anything that would take it out of info dump mode. With your characters, I would just suggest you say your dialogue out loud and get a really good feel of who your character is and how they would talk and interact with others. And for bringing out story and conflict I guess it depends on where your going with this. If it is a school story in a fantasy setting that is fine. I like them and there is plenty of market for that, but everything seems too settled for it to work the way it is right now, so I would show a lot of the things you summed up for us (Brenden being chosen, not being able to use his magic, being teased and then befriended by Amber, and on and on) because it will just feel closer and more engaging. If the major conflict is external to the school, you got to show hints of that early on and tighten/weed though the individual training/studying scenes so it moves faster. Making a mental list of each scene's plot points might help you in that area. At least those are my suggestions.
So to sum up, I loved your world, now bring out your story.
Great Work!
