MAYBE I'm like being childish here.
So I date this guy for like a semi-decent amount of time. Like we were REALLY close. I was absolutely devastated when he broke it off a month or so ago. (and it was for REALLY dumb reasons, at least from my perspective.) Like I stopped eating. I stopped talking to a lot of people. It was just bad, until the last week or so. At some point during this I starting hanging out with another friend of mine who is gay and David, the ex, got mad at me saying that I "move on too fast" when all I was doing was hanging out with a long time friend.
So a few days ago I was talking to him and trying to figure out a real reason for him breaking it off, but he just kept saying that it wasn't right that we had had "relations" and that his parents were going to find out and that was going to go to hell for it and that he couldn't deal with us having a real relationship. Then I said we could try and start again and just do thing differently this time and not dive straight into the deep end. Then he bitched me out saying that "HE was still picking up the pieces and had been hard for him to see me when we ran into each other a few days prior."
I mean really, HE was picking up pieces when HE'S the one who broke MY heart!!! I was livid! Like I can't even put into comprehensible words how it made me feel. BUT that's not even the best of it yet. So THEN an hour or so ago I come to find that he got with one of my best friends NOT EVEN A WEEK after we broke up and has since broken up with her. I mean HONESTLY! I can't believe it!
1. I move on too fast, but it's OK for him to date RIGHT after we break up.
2. He's still picking up the pieces even though he broke my heart and has obviously moved don.
3. One of my BEST FRIENDS! I mean, I know it was a secretish him and I were dating because his family is Mormon, but poor Felicia! Like how is she supposed to know he's gay?!?!?! He just freaking hurt her!
4. I'm also kind of mad at her, because EVEN though she doesn't know he's gay she DID know that I liked him!
So basically I just want to know if I have a right to be mad and if anyone else has similar stories.
UGH! I'm like SOOOOO angry right now.
I'm not sure how many open gays there are in your area, but i had a friend, who was terrified of anyone finding out. He told me because he thought i could bear it--called me an independent thinker. He said he was starting to hate himself, because he was afraid to be himself and yet couldn't what was the "norm". I know i can't completely understand, but i watched him slowly fade, slowly whither into depression. I tried to do things to help cheer him up--but the alienation he must have felt to the world around him...
In a way, it was like my passion for writing, none of my friends but him know. Everyone else would just give me the. "dude, you read for fun?" and there face would scrunch up, the same way yours will when you try and realize you cant kiss your elbows.
except his is much worse.
Finally he found someone, who was also gay and keeping it quiet. MY friend became this really vibrant, fun to be with sort of guy; i swear it made me happy and afraid to see him bloom so quickly. And rightlfully so. He left him, said something about, it being unethical, immoral, or just plain wrong? Basically the guy was gay, and afraid of accepting who he was because the world told him he is supposed to act and be otherwise...
My friend shriveled, became hollow as a tree thats been fallen for over a century.
Dude didn't just leave him, he took away his only connection to himself and the social world, thats like taking a singers voice, a photographers sight. No. Worse, its like taking a blind mans hands.
But that was just my friend, i don't know about your situation, but to tell you the truth, and though i regret it to this day I kicked his boy friends ass until my fists began to hurt. So when you told me your story my heart skipped a beat, my fists instinctively clinched, and my jaw locked. So yeah, thats how i feel, if you want to know whether i think you are right or wrong.
