Webcomic: Edenworld Saga

[vermifuge]

Hello! 

     I just recently converted my friend's webcomic "Edenworld Saga" from iStrip to ComicPress and gave it a full overhaul int he process.  At this time there are over 200 pages across 5 books in the archive.  Book 5 is currently in production and being released at a rate of about 4 pages a week. 

About Edenworld Saga:

     2nd World is a place defined by war and magic, where massive sentient machines are forced to defend themselves against a dreaded orthodoxy that is bent upon their extermination. In 2nd World, the lands are plagued with violence and the future is never certain, but even in the midst of chaos humans and machines can find common cause and learn to trust each other. Join Lyron and his brothers the "Jotun" as they fight for their survival against savage monsters, ruthless devils, and cunning Norn zealots on the eve of a catastrophe that will forever change the nature of their world.

The comic is located HERE: http://www.edenworldsaga.com

     It would be nice to affiliate with similar quality manga style comics.  If you have a comic you think is a god match please reply with affiliate information, banners buttons etc.

Sample image:

[vermifuge]

I am beginning to think I might have scared some people off, or just came off sounding too demanding.  Please if you want to affiliate feel free to add you banner to the affiliates page.  Any dedicated artist / comic creators are welcome.  Please ignore my previous "requirements" they were only meant to keep things in perspective.

http://www.edenworldsaga.com/edenworld-affiliates

I would really love to see my friends comic succeed.  She has put a lot of work into it and you can expect a lot more if you like it.  If you don't like it please feel free to comment and explain what you don't like. 

[Peter Ahlstrom]

I have some advice for your friend: spot blacks. The pages are an insufficiently differentiated wash of overtoned gray. Spot blacks (or any black at all, actually, besides the text and page numbers) will add a lot of depth to the images. Right now, nothing pops.

The coloring on that image you posted in this thread is pretty cool, but your friend is going at her toning too much like coloring. B&W/grayscale toning when done well takes a completely different approach than coloring does.

Does she do any inking at all? Is she just toning her pencils because that's where her strengths lie? Inking and using spot blacks, and using tones more sparingly, would help the art pop a lot more and would make the comic more pleasant to read.

The panel layout is pretty bland and boring, as are the panel shapes. There's too much gridwork. The lack of space between panels, and the lack of any out-of-panel art (in any of the pages I've looked at) is very non-manga (you seem to indicate she's going for a manga look). The square balloons are also boring.

Some of the in-panel composition and camera angles are interesting though.

[vermifuge]

well there have been some changes to the comic thanks to your input. She is still working witht he tarker tones so thngsmay change over the next few weeks.  but its more in line witht he requests yourself and others have made. 

[Miyabi]

I agree with Ookla.  There is nowhere near enough contrast.  Without the deep shades of black in the images, then everything seems way too bright and nothing stands out to me.

[vermifuge]

I agree with Ookla.  There is nowhere near enough contrast.  Without the deep shades of black in the images, then everything seems way too bright and nothing stands out to me.

Well, thanks for the input but changes to the comic were made weeks ago.  The last 15 pages or so have been using a whole new technique using darker colors and more contrast in the shading. Ultimately you can only please all the people some of the time or some of the people all of the time...  I think you know the rest.  At this point not much more can be done. 

I would guess given your criticisms even if more changes were made you would not be a daily reader?  I'm not trying to sound ungrateful of your input.  but i I have to be realistic.  Chances are you are not the core demo of this comic any way?  If i am wrong please feel free to correct me.

[Miyabi]

Oh no, I don't read too many webcomics.  I probably wouldn't become a constant reader.

I'm just saying that from an artist point of view, and someone who reads many hard copy comics, that every frame should have at least a little bit of black in it to create an easy base for the eye to perceive depth within it.  The only time there shouldn't be black, is if it is done for a dramatic effect of sorts.

It is hard for your eyes and brain to judge how much something should stand out, or how to visualize dimensions of a piece of art without a solid base.  Whereas everything is gray, that makes it VERY hard to do, and causes changes in the way things are seen between each frame.

Another thing here.  Look at the real world.  Almost EVERYWHERE you look around, whether anything is black or not, your mind will see shadows and those will seem black, because your mind is making a base.  You can't force that into a piece of art though, so when creating the art, you have to place it there for the viewer.

The point is.  Whether your constant readers notice the change or not is indifferent.  The best way to draw people in is to have something that makes them go. OH.  It will also make people more appreciative of your art, as well as make it look at least a hundred percent better.

[Peter Ahlstrom]

The last 15 pages or so have been using a whole new technique using darker colors and more contrast in the shading.

I do see there are some darker grays now, but there's still no black and the overall look is the same gray wash where nothing pops to the eye. I believe miyabi was reacting to the current look, not the look 16 strips ago.

[Miyabi]

The last 15 pages or so have been using a whole new technique using darker colors and more contrast in the shading.

I do see there are some darker grays now, but there's still no black and the overall look is the same gray wash where nothing pops to the eye. I believe miyabi was reacting to the current look, not the look 16 strips ago.

Yes I was.