Author Topic: What not to do  (Read 1134 times)

Tage

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What not to do
« on: January 10, 2007, 08:49:10 PM »
So, I never come down here to writer land, but a friend of mine showed me this site that I think you regulars will really appreciate.
http://bulwer-lytton.com/

Awards for worst opening lines and other one-liners.

Here's a tasty sample:
Runner-Up

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?"
Stuart Vasepuru
Edinburgh, Scotland
« Last Edit: January 10, 2007, 08:56:14 PM by Tage »
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Chimera

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Re: What not to do
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2007, 08:08:12 PM »
Ah, man, that's almost exactly like the opening to my latest novel!

No, seriously, whenever I start feeling like my writing is horrible, all I need to do is swing over the this website, and I'll realize it really isn't that bad.  ;)
There is just no way you are the pine-scented air. --Billy Collins, "Litany"

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stacer

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Re: What not to do
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2007, 08:17:06 PM »
Those are purposefully bad, though. The Bulwer-Lytton contest is writers *trying* to write the worst opening lines. They have some really funny ones usually.
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Chimera

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Re: What not to do
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2007, 10:19:03 PM »
I know, but it still is worse than my writing, which is trying to be good.

It makes me feel better, and that's all that matters.  ;)
There is just no way you are the pine-scented air. --Billy Collins, "Litany"

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