Author Topic: AWOL  (Read 12020 times)

Eric James Stone

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #15 on: February 03, 2006, 01:46:29 AM »
Quote
the majority of them won't go for a guy right off, she has to get to know him first.

So, is that an argument in favor of the guy using the "sniper approach"?
Eric James Stone
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The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #16 on: February 03, 2006, 09:19:44 AM »
....

See, I don't get this. Every girl I was friends with on a more than passing acquaintance basis before I started dating them.... it ended badly.

Every girl I went on dates with before I got to know her as friends I had a long term relationship with.

Just my personal experience. As a successfully married man, I have to recommend the start the relationship with dating.

I've heard, FAR too many times, girls talk about the guys they know, "They're like a brother, I could never date them." It's what I hear constantly. I think it's the nature of all people to be comfortable with anything that's established, including the nature of your relationship. thus, when the move from friend to boyfriend starts to happen, it makes you girls freak out, even though you say that's what you prefer.

I think (remember, I'm speaking as someone who *isn't* inside your brain) that what you really mean is that you don't want to be picked up in a club and start a whirlwind romance wherein you're married 2 months later. What you want is a relationship that starts with clear possible endings, but that needs time to develop before you decide it goes there.

my 2 bits. I'm sure this is another post that will generate hatred for me.

Brenna

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #17 on: February 03, 2006, 09:58:53 AM »
That's really interesting, SE, because I've had the opposite experience--bad experiences from dating right away, good from being friends first. Chris and I were very much friends first.

Really, everybody else realized that we were both interested in each other way before we did. And May 1st will be our 4th anniversary, so it's gone very well so far for us. :)

So as a successfully married woman :P, I'd say that successful relationships can start in many different ways, so I really couldn't recommend one way over another--I think it depends upon the personalities of the people involved more than anything else.

« Last Edit: February 03, 2006, 09:59:25 AM by Brenna »

The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #18 on: February 03, 2006, 10:22:01 AM »
see! I knew I'd get it.

I think my real point is that I see a lot of girls who make excuses for writing off potential relationships. Stupid excuses. "He's not tall enough." I can understand not being attracted to someone, but refusing to meet someoen because they're not over 6'? And yes, I've had the proffered as a genuine excuse. So, try the date as a way to meet someone. That's what it's supposed to be anyway.

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #19 on: February 03, 2006, 11:02:24 AM »
Oh yeah, the date is generally underused nowadays, and the sniper approach is fine as a way to get to know the girl (and the guy) enough to know you even want to ask on the date (or not to ask on the date).  But if a guy is a sniper for too long, then the girl might write him off as not interested and go elsewhere.  True True.

Of course, the friendship base is 'the dream' for a lot of us girls...uh, depending on the girl, of course. Maybe the key to not 'freaking' the girl out is is is...hmm, let me think here, is a combination of both...knowing the girl well enough that you can have a good conversation? Not making a big deal out of the date?  I don't know. I do know that everyone is tired of games though.

Besides, sometimes girls DO know they would definitely not date a guy (even if they got to know him better), and it's best just to find out in the beginning, so you can be friends.

Poor guys! And poor girls! Man, I think it's a miracle anyone gets together, huh?
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Nessa

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #20 on: February 03, 2006, 11:34:59 AM »
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Every girl I went on dates with before I got to know her as friends I had a long term relationship with. Just my personal experience. As a successfully married man, I have to recommend the start the relationship with dating.

That was my same experience, too, SE, so you're not alone.

Edit: Um, I meant when I dated guys.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2006, 12:12:12 PM by MrsNessaC »
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Re: AWOL
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2006, 01:30:08 PM »
Sure.
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House of Mustard

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #22 on: February 03, 2006, 03:30:39 PM »
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It's been said here several times, but I want to underline it: guys will, at least once, think about dating virtually every attractive girl they meet. That's just how our brains work.


I would go so far as to say guys will not only think about dating every attractive girl they meet, but marrying them -- not in a weird fantasizing way, but in the sense that marriage is the natural outcome of successful dating.  Maybe that's just the Mormon in me, though.
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Re: AWOL
« Reply #23 on: February 03, 2006, 05:53:56 PM »
Yeah, well, I guess girls do that too. We just start picking out names though!
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Re: AWOL
« Reply #24 on: June 30, 2006, 10:34:06 PM »
Yup...I've been AWOL again!!! Sorry, I'm here in Washington helping direct a children's play, Aladdin Jr. I love it!!! The internet is almost completely dead to me, but for some reason the lack thereof has helped me write more...so hopefully I'll have something to show for it when the summer is over. Anyway, I'm excited to see how Rob's book has been doing, so I think I'm gonna peek at his site while I have access to the internet.

Until next time, ha ha! See ya!
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Fellfrosch

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #25 on: July 01, 2006, 04:42:49 AM »
Welcome back, though it sounds like you won't be around long. Enjoy Washington.
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die." --Mel Brooks

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Nessa

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #26 on: July 03, 2006, 02:58:56 AM »
Hurry back, babe. I need you at writing group. I can't keep SE in line by myself ;)
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The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #27 on: July 03, 2006, 12:18:09 PM »
no one can keep SE in line by herself

Spriggan

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Re: AWOL
« Reply #28 on: July 03, 2006, 12:29:59 PM »
Except his wife.
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Re: AWOL
« Reply #29 on: July 03, 2006, 01:04:42 PM »
no, she has the assistance of 4 rug-rats to rein me in.