Author Topic: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page  (Read 7076 times)

EUOL

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Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« on: July 31, 2006, 08:30:27 PM »
Someday, I'll go count up the ELANTRIS people and give them scores for being great typo-hunters on my website.  Until then, if you see a typo for MISTBORN, please post it here!

I'll start off.  The chart in the back has brass and zinc reversed, I believe.  Zinc, as the base metal, PULLS.  That means it should riot emotions, not sooth them.  I believe the narrative is right, but the chart never got changed to reflect this change.  
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neiana

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2006, 10:25:10 PM »
Might I inquire (was written as enquire at one point, don't see it used in such form too often) if kandra are to be capitalized or not?  As Terrisman always seems to be, yet skaa aren't, I wondered...  Will nitpick more later..  ;D
« Last Edit: July 31, 2006, 10:25:51 PM by neiana »

EUOL

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2006, 01:46:43 AM »
Good question.

"Terrismen" is capitalized because of "Terris" the country, while skaa and kandra are not.  So, if I have a capital skaa or kandra capital, then it's a typo!  (This is much like why English is capitalized while mathematics is not.)
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Robert_Boyd

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2006, 06:16:43 AM »
pg 56 - "Good.  And, in the alleyway you'll the find the..."
(extra "the")

pg 156 - "Kelsier didn't think she was practiced enough go with him..."
(missing "to")

pg 198 - "Do not apologize to me, Mistress," Sazed said quietly.  "Is it both unseemly and unnecessary."
(Should be "It is")
« Last Edit: August 02, 2006, 10:35:36 AM by Robert_Boyd »

GLE

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2006, 03:58:27 PM »
wow. how do u guys notice that kind of stuff? i for some reason just fix it a little in my mind. although i did notice the one EUOL mentioned... that was really obvious.

Nessa

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2006, 04:23:56 PM »
Because a great many of us on the board are writers/editors. Which is one reason why they will harass you for your l33t. They don't put up with stuff like that.
"The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter--'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning."  -  Mark Twain

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Tekiel

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2006, 07:14:15 PM »
pg 92 - "hoping for quick end to the fight"
hoping for a quick end

pg 92 - "or to at least to stall"
need to take out a "to"

pg 164 - "As she approached far wall,"
missing "the"

pg 165 - "What happens when old two friends sit down"
switch 'two' and 'old'

pg 222 - "I found at the palace,"
need to put "it" in there?

pg 379 - "unfamiliar and different from the nine she knew"
she only knows eight at the time

pg 507 - "Kelsier, you cursed lunatic, Dockson thought"
Needs to be italicized
« Last Edit: August 23, 2006, 12:16:24 PM by Tekiel »
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foodkid95

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #7 on: August 21, 2006, 04:41:23 PM »
Prologue:  "... but at that moment, Testing could have kissed his distinguished guest. "

"Testing" should be "Tresting"

corallights

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2006, 06:26:37 AM »
pg. 241 first line, last paragraph

"...how eager she was to go the ball."

missing to after go




Miyabi

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2006, 10:11:52 PM »
I need to buy Mistborn when I get my check.  I am really looking forward to reading it.
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EUOL

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2006, 10:45:36 AM »
I hope you enjoy it!  And, many thanks if you do buy it.
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Miyabi

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2006, 06:13:52 PM »
NP I love reading... >.> ... a very expensive habbit I have
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The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #12 on: October 02, 2006, 09:23:59 AM »
48 - "I said I've gotten boring, not sloppy"

I would assume you mean that he's gotten bored.

Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO pageOkay! We finis
« Reply #13 on: October 08, 2006, 01:26:57 AM »
Okay! We finished the book last week, but now I'm finally getting around to typing these out. And...I didn't catch all the ones other people have mentioned in this thread already. Cursed autocorrecting mental filters.

First the definite mistakes. page#-paragraph#

31-5 Vin though -> thought (The only one we found in this book! Great improvement over Elantris.)

53-8 he was thrown backward as if had been punched -> as if he had been punched

59-11 emotions of a obligator -> an obligator

156-5 Kelsier didn't think she was practiced enough go with him -> enough to go with him

164-7 As she approached far wall -> the far wall

204-3 Vin crouched on the lip on a rooftop -> lip of a rooftop

208-3 But, I warn you Vin. -> But, I warn you, Vin.

228-12 "Kell's fine," Breeze said. -> Dockson said. (This lasted all the way from 2.0 if not 1.0. :) )

228-16 "Sazed," Vin she finally said. -> (delete "Vin" or "she")

233-21 Sazed paused, hand laying on the cover of the large book. -> (should be "hand lying" or "laying a hand")

251-6 when he finally sat the book down -> set the book down

257-12 Unfortunately, House Elariel was one of the more powerful Great Houses--probably not someone to dismiss offhandedly. ->Great Houses--she was probably not someone to dismiss offhandedly.

262-14 then walked out the front steps and down the carpeted stairs -> then walked out the front entryway and down the carpeted stairs (or some word other than steps, since it's a doorway she's walking out of)

266-3 He paused near the garden well -> garden wall (Right? Unless you do mean "well"--there have been several references to "garden wall"

280-4 I want you to spent a little time with him -> to spend a little time with him

313-10 "An event," he said his voice growing almost wistful. -> he said, his voice growing almost wistful.

327-4 a Lekal and a Hasting, political enemies of the Venture. -> ("of the Ventures." or "of House Venture.")

351-1 it had ambushed the skaa soldiers as it passed. -> skaa soldiers as they passed.

371-1 I must prove to him that I can perform this task -> (Period missing at end)

381-4 There was one, single line -> ("There was a single line" or "There was one line" or "There was one single line" though this third option is least pleasing)

406-6 There were a group of poeple -> There was a group of people (I'm all for notional agreement in the right places, but this doesn't seem to be one of them.)

408-14 he didn't wish to be involved in the plan anymore than he had to. -> plan any more than he had to. (Specifically should be two words in this instance because of the "than")

419-4 She couldn't stop the progression of time, she could only enjoy the moment. -> of time; she could only enjoy the moment. (Comma splice)

421-3 Deliver a message to your uncle for me, will you dear? -> for me, will you, dear?

457-4 At least I know that since another has seen it. -> At least I know that another has seen it. (Sentence fragment)

462-4 Ash fell from the sky, floating in lazily flakes. -> in lazy flakes. (Or "floating down lazily"?)

462-17 He took another step forward, approaching up onto the roof's edge. -> (Not sure what you really want here. "another step forward, onto the roof's edge"? "forward, approaching the roof's edge"? "forward, up onto the roof's edge"?)

470-12 The creature switched directions immediately, instead hurling toward Kelsier. -> (hurl is a transitive verb. In the previous paragraph you've got "hurled himself" which is the right way to use it. Here you should have "hurling itself toward" or even better "hurtling toward" for variety.)

507-3 KELSIER, YOU CURSED LUNATIC, DOCKSON THOUGHT, -> KELSIER, YOU CURSED LUNATIC, DOCKSON THOUGHT (Chapter 35 has italics in the caps. Consistency.)

Ars Arcanum:

Page 539 and 540 call Bronze the Internal Mental Pushing metal. But on page 126 Kelsier says it is the pulling metal. It seems like a pulling metal to me.
Page 539 and 540 call Copper the Internal Mental Pulling metal. Would seem to be the opposite. The descriptions of what these two do are correct though.

Zinc and Brass also have problems as you said above. But Zinc's description says "brass" in its first line! So, just to make sure, here's a list of the corrections to make:
On page 539, keep the words "Zinc" and "Brass" where they are. Switch the words and bolding for "Soothes" and "Riots" and do the same for "Soother" and "Rioter"
On page 540-541, switch Brass's paragraph with Zinc's paragraph.
burning brass can Riot -> burning zinc can Riot
who burns brass is known as a Rioter -> who burns zinc is known as a Rioter
Zinc, however, does not -> Brass, however, does not
who burns zinc is known as a Soother -> who burns brass is known as a Soother

540-4 the person burning copper is themselves immune -> people burning copper are themselves immune (You can get away with the "singluar they" in the previous sentence, but not this one. There are a multitude of singular theys in this appendix, by the way.)

541-4 They can see farther and smell better -> (Ha ha ha! perhaps "and smell more keenly"?)

541-4 This has the side effect -> Burning tin has the side effect
« Last Edit: October 08, 2006, 01:34:36 AM by OoklaTheMok »
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Peter Ahlstrom

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Re: Mistborn: Final Empire TYPO page
« Reply #14 on: October 08, 2006, 01:28:40 AM »
Next, items that are questionable but not necessarily wrong.

24-3 Eventually, the other skaa began to awake -> awaken ("awake" may technically be used here but...I prefer "awaken")

99-5 they were far more cleanly -> (It really bugs Karen when you use "cleanly" as an adjective. It does appear in the dictionary as such, but still, it bugs. I'm somewhat less bothered by the usage. (You used it at least once in Elantris as well.))

438-2 Why did Valette's steward come here? -> (This "here" is the first indication that their carriage is in front of the shop--and that fact doesn't make much sense to me. Elend went out to meet Felt, but how would he know to meet Felt in front of the shop? Did Felt already tell him to meet them there, earlier? Or Elend met another spy somewhere else and that spy said to go to XXX street to meet Felt? It's a bit confusing)

446-13 the mind-set -> (I gotta disagree with Merriam-Webster here and go with American Heritage, just like I do with "goodbye." M-W says to use a hyphen, AH says to use no hyphen. I greatly prefer no hyphen in "mindset." In fact it wasn't until just now that I found out M-W wants a hyphen here.)

455-10 forced himself to climb down inside of it. -> down inside it. (The "of" may be used colloquially, but...well...)

512 (I'm confused about the layout of this place. Sazed removes the bars separating his cage and Vin's, then busts the door off his cage, right? And the room they are in does not have a door, just a doorway? That's the only way I can make the layout here make sense, though i would have thought the guards would hear their conversation with no door.)

And now a major subset of questionable bits. You're quite often repeating words or word forms in very close succession. It's nice to avoid this; some of the examples below are really glaring. I'm sure I didn't take note of all of them, but these stood out.

38-2 as a group of skaa workers worked in the street below

63-6 and associating with her could have tainted them by association.

350-17 Vin followed, following him as he rushed up a nearby hill. -> Vin followed him as he rushed up a nearby hill.

426-6 The sound of bodies colliding sounded from

455-7 "And so I return," Kelsier whispered. His scars burned, and memories returned. -> ("flooded his mind" maybe? Now, sometimes repetition is good rhetoric; starting the next sentence with "Memories" works quite well in this instance.)

455-8 Kelsier held up his arms, looking at the scars, still white and stark on his arms. -> on his skin.

489-11 The map had the city divided, with the various divisions labeled with various crewmembers' names. -> (You've got divided/divisions and various/various.)

Now, the last global comment.

165-16 Vin paused.

Vin's not doing anything she can pause from; she's just sitting there listening to Breeze, who speaks the previous paragraph and the next one. You could say "Vin bit her lip" or something... Anyway, the word "paused" is showing up a TON in this book. You've got 249 uses of it in version 2.0, and probably a similar number in the printed version. (Okay, you've got only 223 in version 3.1, but fewer words overall, leading to a higher ratio.) I suggest reducing your reliance on "paused" to pace your conversations. Several times people pause before they speak (and after someone else says something)--but it's not at all clear what they are pausing. It's clear there's a pause in the conversation, but are they thinking about what the other person just said? Choosing their next words? Actually halting their forward walking progress between sentences? The further along we got, the more conscious I became of the word.

Alcatraz 4.0 has 47 pauseds, and since it's a quarter the length of Mistborn it's got half as many pauseds per word. Elantris is a bit shorter than Mistborn and it's only got 86 pauseds--a much better ratio. But Well of Ascension 3.0 has a whopping 316 pauseds. Hero of Ages 3.0 only has 202, but still, that's a lot. Anyway, I think you're in danger of using this word as a crutch.

Okay, just for my amusement, here's an analysis of your books so far (the ones I have):

White Sand I 1.0 - 0.49 pptt (pause per ten thousand words)
Star's End 1.0 - 0.34 pptt
Lord Mastrel 1.0 - 0.83 pptt
Knight Life 3.0 - 0.40 pptt
The Sixth Incarnation of Pandora 1.0 - 1.48 pptt
Elantris 6.0 - 3.51 pptt
Elantris 8.6 - 4.16 pptt
Dragonsteel 7.0 - 5.70 pptt
White Sand II 2.7 - 6.11 pptt
Mythwalker 0.6 - 10.2 pptt
Mistborn Prime 4.0 - 9.63 pptt
Aether of Night 3.0 - 11.99 pptt
Final Empire Prime 1.0 - 9.65 pptt
Way of Kings 2.1 - 8.1 pptt
Mistborn Final Empire 2.0 - 10.97 pptt
Mistborn Final Empire 3.1 - 11.56 pptt
Mistborn Well of Ascension 3.0 - 13.25 pptt
Alcatraz Initiated 4.0 - 8.71 pptt
Mistborn Hero of Ages 3.0 - 9.68 pptt
Warbreaker Parts 1-2 1.2/1.0 - 11.5 pptt

Star's End and Knight Life only have 3 pauses each! Anyway, there's an upward trend, and then it more or less levels off. :) It took reading the book out loud for me to notice it. I have no idea how this compares with other writers. Well, the book I just rewrote has 2.47 pptt.

Make of that what you will.

Oh and...in the acknowledgements you say I am incalculable. Is that what you meant, or that my contribution was incalculable? I mean, I guess I am rather incalculable at times, but... ;)
« Last Edit: October 08, 2006, 01:45:34 AM by OoklaTheMok »
All Saiyuki fans should check out Dazzle! Emotionally wrenching action-adventure and quirky humor! (At least read chapter 6 and tell me if you're not hooked.) Volume 10 out now!