What do you get when somebody decides to write a musical about the use of gunboat diplomacy in the westernization of Japan? You get a very weird musical. But when the somebody who decides to write happens to be Stephen Sondheim, you get one of the most finely crafted works of art I've ever seen. This is a quick selection in which the British show up and demand trading rights, portrayed in a pastiche of Gilbert and Sullivan. These rhymes and meters work so perfectly it's like singing a crossword puzzle.
"Hello, I come with letters from her majesty Victoria
who, learning how you're trading now, sang "Hallelujah Gloria,"
and sent me to convey to you her positive euphoria
as well as little gifts from Britain's various emporia.
"These letters do contain a few proposals to your Emperor,
which if, of course, you won't endorse, will put her in a temper, or
more happily, should you agree, will serve to make her placider--
at least 'til I am followed by a permanent ambassador.
"Her majesty considers the arrangements to be tentative,
until we ship a proper diplomatic representative.
We don't foresee that you will be the least bit argumentative,
so please ignore the Man of War we brought as a preventative."
