Timewaster's Guide Archive

1 way to foreshadow is give a common ground and figure where people will be.  In some shows it's kinda forced like a hospital show where they are never in surgery when they need a line -- Sometimes REally forced Lois lane manages to get herself kidnapped again.  But because we know that they'll be in the hospital (or in Lois's case at the interview of the most whatever possible) it's not totally unbelievable. 

This can also be used positively -- such as in Daredevil when Matt Murdock always walks in on Karen and Foggy at the right time.  It's a cliche' but we love Daredevil for it.

Meetings need not be with pre-established characters.  I hate [prepare your stones] J.R.R tolkien because everybody that they meet either is enamored or hates the characters.  There aren't any towns in which they stop and have a beer and discuss plans and leave -- no, they find the super-hero-elf-who-you-must-love or the villianous whatnot.  Sometimes a path has to be a path.  It is also a problem with RPG's.

On the other hand, if the time frame is assumed to be somewhat longer than what you'd think, the characters in generally the same area, the reader can assume that he (gender neutral) will miss sections.  In one movie there is a scene which neglects communication lag -- I claim that there is a communication lag and those scenes of finger thrumming and scowling at each other are merely on the cutting-room floor.  [Maybe we'll see them in the DVD cut scenes part!].  Similarly we cut out the 15 reports the character in the hospital signed the 23rd sprained ankle and go straight to the slap in the face, which the viewer cared about.

Maybe BW was just not aggressive enough -- so they wanted to step up things.  [I guess we'll just have to find out]

I still have difficulties with Lightsong charging in -- his instincts are better than that -- especially when he relatively just passed the lifeless.  I thought he was good at sleuthing -- but with this point he's just a shlamiel.

Whoops sorry  I forgot about the [hide] !$**#%([/hide] feature

The first one looks more professional and in some ways is more understandable to somebody who has yet to experience Mistborn.

I would have thought that the guy was wearing funky sunglasses or was born blind and was an odd picture, but not very appealing as a graphic representation from the second -- had I not known that he was an inquisitor.

   It’s not always about killing, Vasher said.

This was underlined.  Is it said or thought?

He and I are going to have a long talk about what he did to my sister.”

He and I seems to be a bit bulky, perhaps "The two of us"


Denth coming out of the blue seems odd.  Why is a merc allowed in the Godkings house anyway?  I would never have expected Denth inside the palace. 
But, if he didn't know where Sisi lived and was asking a random servant -- which is a possibility given that nobody knew where Sisi would be, and the mercs attack the outside of the house; that seems less odd to me.

“Are you going to explain why you consider showing me up to be the most sincere form of compliment?”

   “Of course I am,” Lightsong said.  “My dear, have you ever known me to make an inflammatorily ridiculous statement without providing an equally ridiculous explanation to back it up?”

I had to reread this to make sense of the "of course I am."  By the time I ended the first question I took the question to be as Blushweaver intended: "Why is showing me up..?"  To which of course I am makes no sense -- this could be -- should you want to, be edited two ways --
“Of course I am.” Lightsong said. 
Blushweaver looked at him askew "Of course you are what?"
"Of course I am going to explain why showing you up. . ."

Then out of perversity he waits a few paragraphs before coming back to it.  Very much in character -- probably hard to pull off, and takes up space -- but if you DO pull it off, wow.

On the other hand you could just take out the "of course I am" and the sentence makes just as much sense


Point deux when Sisi is looking over her plan

First, go to Lightsong
   I wait for Susebron to arrive

The paragraph shift without a next or then or whatnot -- again I was confused.

Third and finally: This sentence

They force the God King’s priests to let him make his defense.

Too many pronouns
They the other priests?
him Godking?
his godgkings?
defense -- that he has a tongue?

I'm still confused by this one, what is Sisi hoping will happen?

quote]

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Vadia,

There are some good points in your post, but I have to disagree with you about having a different font or style for Nightblade. I think in general that books which have different fonts for different characters, or set off certain characters' text ~(~like this~)~ tend to look a little gimmicky. Also, I think it's important to explain the way Vasher's awakened rope works; maybe it would work better for you if that paragraph were simply a little shorter?

The one difference is that the blade is telapathy which is like thought and if you show the same text for telapathy and thought it is confusing.  When I see thoughts and expect telapathy or vice versa it can totally confuse me.  But you may be correct about the font difference anyway - - the most important thing is to make sure that I don't think that Nightblade tells Vivena that Vash is a good man -- it really threw me off thinking that for a few seconds and then I lost my place (and in my tired mistake almost made the same mistake again.)

Just have him talk to the camera ala Ferris Buler.

Also make sure you don't sell the rights to the Chinese mafia. 

So the Italian mafia is A. O. K.?
As well as the Yakuza?