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« on: February 07, 2011, 08:05:05 AM »
Soooooooo I was lying in bed half asleep and I kept visualizing this scene (which will be near the beginning of the novel I'm doing research to begin writing.) It's probably not as good as I feel it is this late at night, but please tear it apart and tell me in what ways it could be better. Ty <3
tabbed Isaac walked groggily into the lab, which he had only abandoned a few hours prior. He had gotten close to the answer the night before. The leather-bound briefcase and thick wool jacket made a thud and thwump as they were placed on a desk in the corner of the room. Isaac rubbed his eyes and turned to the cages that lined the wall containing rats in different degrees of health. "Good," he thought, "they managed to get me new specimens already this morning. I'll have to thank Dianne when she brings my lunch."
tabbed As he watched a machine on the table in the middle of the room spin he pulled a wad of tobacco from a small pouch he found in his jacket pocket and rolled it in a piece of tobacco paper fun in the same place. The whirling contraption was missing a panel on the side closest to Isaac. Inside cogs and gears could be seen. It was powered by a thin white tube that was plugged into an air outlet in the floor next to the table.
tabbed Squinting to see, Isaac saw there was nearly an hour left before the new recipe would be ready for testing. He turned to his desk to begin to write up the report he hoped to send in that day. This would be the fifth time he had begun such an endeavor, he prayed this one wouldn't end as tragically as the others.
tabbed When Isaac plugged a thick white cord into another air outlet on the wall a large box on the floor began to hum. On the desk a rectangular shaped screen made soft hissing and clicking sounds as microscopic pistons pressed themselves against the screen to form colors and patterns. The screen shone with the bright logo of the GATE company . He lifted a keyboard off the nearly three foot high, two foot wide box on the floor and set it on the table. The keyboard had a white tube similar in size to the one on the mixing device, though it didn't plug into an outlet, instead it plugged into the large machine on the floor.
tabbed A login screen appeared and Isaac typed in the company password. As he pressed each key a small puff sound could be heard over the hum of the gears in the box on the floor. Each key made a slightly sound slightly different in length and intensity than others, the pressure made from pressing the key would be sent down the tube to indicate to the computer which key had been pressed. Upon pressing enter a light, created by the flame of a burning gas, appeared in the upper, right, rear corner of the component at the side of the desk. It stood steady for a few moments before it began to flicker very quickly, shining its light into a wire made of many small clear pieces of plastic. This light would pass though the plastic to communicate with the companies server, or so Isaac had been told. Jeff from the computer department had developed the process only a few months prior.
tabbed Fifteen minutes later his screen changed and icons began to show. He could see on the screen many of his recent reports to the head of his department. "This takes so much longer than it used to. I hate this goddamned network," he thought to himself as he used the arrow keys to move to the document writing application and hit enter. The next forty-five minutes were spent typing up a letter claiming his success.
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