Timewaster's Guide Archive

Unfortunately, I'm not sure this is the thread that should've been stickied.   Since it is, at some point I'll probably edit the main post or add a new post of common info.  The big one being "YES, ELANTRIS, MISTBORN TRILOGY, WARBREAKER, AND THE STORMLIGHT ARCHIVES ARE ALL IN THE SAME UNIVERSE."

there's an older thread that explains all the hoid sightings, if I remember correctly. You could mine that for essential info. Otherwise one of us could build a thread that gives a basic "welcome to the cosmere" sort of explanation, and re-petition 'Nessa. It's not a bad thread to sticky really, even though the first post doesn't explain everything right away, it stops people from making new posts, which is the whole idea behind a sticky.

There's a very good YA quartet by Laurence Yep that starts with Dragon of the Lost Sea that draws heavily from asian mythology; the first book is actually a re imagining of an old Chinese folktale. It's probably one of my favorite books as a child, and considering it's age group does a really good job dealing with character development, sacrifice, redemption, and the cost of magic.

I don't think walking on stone is part of his truthless-ness – actually it's only because he's truthless that he can bear to commit this sin. I'm pretty sure its taboo for all of Shin, part of Stone Shamanism – which is probably a result of their having the only real 'soil' in roshar.

Has anyone thought that a refusal to take payment might have actually meant he was priceless? I'm thinking of the bartering style where everyone under-prices their own goods. It's probably not likely, since being truthless is always referred to as a punishment, but that could just be Szeth's way of thinking about it – the fact that he has to kill constantly is a terrible punishment for him, but that wasn't actually the intent behind his oath.

I'll elaborate at what I think Tangleton is getting at here. In Elantis the Dor is described as the reason behind everything: gravity, life, energy. It's chi; it's the One Power. So, assuming that's actually the case, is it the same true for the rest of the world? Does the power of Ruin and Preservation run their planet? Is there a fundamental difference between the power of Endowment and that of Aona? If the two are the same force, just with different 'pathologies', that could be significant. Could a world exist without a shard to power it?

Also, if life requires the existence of a shard, where did the original humans that are now shardholders come from?

I think most of what I'd put in has been said already. You really should work on descriptions a little, if it's not your strong suit then the only way you'll be able to write them is by, well, writing them. A lot.  I have the same problem; usually when I finish writing a chapter the way I naturally want to, I end up embellishing everything afterwards to make it more interesting. The general sense I get from your two chapters so far is that the setting is russian-, or at least east european-inspired. If you work on that and inject the flavor here and there I think it will go a long way to helping your story.

I'll also add that I didn't get LotR at all. I did get a little bit of KJ parker's Devices and Desires– where you have a technologically and numerically under matched defender fighting the massive empire, as well as a few comic books with future tech in medieval settings. I think your generals took a little too much time explaining guerrilla warfare. Obviously, a general won't just say "oh, we'll use guerrilla tactics" and leave it at that. But if they have any experience they should be able to sum it up a little faster.

Lastly, while you might not be channeling tolkien, it's possible there's a hint of mark twain in there (a yankee in king arthur's court). the way you gave information about the emperor made me think he's either from the future or some sort of alien. It's obvious he's feeding his subjects advanced technology at a rate otherwise impossible, the only question is how. The first thing I thought of was a Justice League bit where they fight a WWII where the nazis are armed with sci-fi weapons. This might not be where you were going with that, but the short bit you hinted at smelled very strongly of that sort of premise.

All things considered, it's not terrible, but it's been done before and if that's the case I was able to pick up on it early on. If you were hoping for a big reveal later in the book  you'll have to work much harder than that, but if it's just an obvious plot point you should probably take care of it sooner rather than later, otherwise it might drag on. Of course if I'm wrong it works as a good red herring and you can ignore the last two paragraphs.

Ok, I'm happy someone caught that the stilts aren't directly above the city; they actually encircle it, as a sort of anti-suburbs. But the fact that you were confused, ravenstar, means I should do a better job explaining myself.

And thanks all around for the advice on the drug smugglage. I'll endeavor make it more plausible on my re-write. For now suffice it to say that caong (cocaine) is kept down because the casigu government - which has a superiority complex -  only wants locals using the home-grown dzana (marijuanna). the two drugs are different enough  to create a plentiful market for both.

Chapter 3, ready to be torn to pieces. It's a new POV and setting, so let me know what you think of the character. Drug smuggling factors in to his storyline, but I'm not sure how lucrative of a business that was for the time period this is set in, so I'm hoping it doesn't come across as too much of an anachronism.

Fathers of Gods Chapter 3 (Dyp Herald) 3000 words (L, V, S, D - the works)

No real recap since it's a new storyline, but if you don't remember Listener is a Polaesi that can hear minds.

Summary
Dyp Herald has been exiled from shipolitae for unknown reasons, and is fighting to survive as a drug smuggler in the Temnic city of Casigu.

Presumably, he's still walking around with it in his chest as he feasts on roast duck.  

Aha, thanks for pointing that out.

I'm curious as to how you guys are handling the introductions. There's a decent amount of gods, and while a lot of them don't play a huge role I'm going to have to drop their names in at some point. I'm hoping the pace I've set is alright and I'm not overloading anyone.