Timewaster's Guide Archive

I've been doing a bit of writing, but not on my story. It's for the mistborn forum rpg. I figure it all counts toward the million or so practice words I need, no?

Much, much better. The story flows better, nothing felt forced, And there was much more emotional impact.

I do miss the gradual progression from omniscient to limited you had. It's still there, but the transition is stark now. Which is fine for a prologue and first chapter.

Her reasons still aren't clear, but that doesn't matter anymore. It feels like they will be explained now.

I like him more now, too.

Next chapter, please!

There's only one thing I don't like and It's not something I can easily put my finger on. It feels stretched, like...

I think you said everything that needed to be said. You listed problems that would need to be addressed, you addressed them, you got them safely there. The story was good, I got a taste of the character, but the passage of time throughout was very... fluid until the actual day of departure. It felt unstructured.

Most of the information dumped was dumped well, and entirely necessary and interesting. I just can't help but feel that the entire thing could be shortened to just the battle, interspersed with flashbacks. Condensed, distilled, and then I could figure out for myself what motivates the character instead of being told over several months that pass in a few pages.

Then again, my opinion is less important than yours, so take what you wish and ignore the rest.

I'll take another look at it when I get home, and point out any phrasings I find don't fit the tone. doesn't mean you have to change them, but you might want to be aware.

As for your #7, I was taken aback by what happens. From what I learned of his character, it would seem like he would at least try to resist. The whole scene was so jarringly different, Idk... it seemed to go against his character, and while the prose was fine, what happened didn't fit with what I had already read.

James Franco as the Lord Ruler.

I found the perfect Sazed- Paul Bettany

"Wasing not of wasing is."

I've been developing a guide on how to use Eastern Slang for the Mistborn rpg. I figured many of you might want to learn how, So I thought I'd post it here as well.

Language and Dialect in Mistborn:

Eastern Slang.


There is, of course, slang on Scadriel. People from different dominances speak subtly differently. And sometimes not so subtly. In the Eastern Dominance, skaa street gangs have their own dialect even their parents can't understand.

If you have read The Final Empire, you're already familiar and bewildered by Spook's Eastern Slang.

Here's a few examples:

"Wasing the place when I was young."
"Someone's coming! Out in the night with the calling!"
"Notting as the now," ... "Kelsier wasing the the hit with my name; changed it to Spook."
"Weapons for the getting, giving for the time to be."

Absolutely Insensible, right?

Well, that's because it's meant to confuse people.

Yes. That was actually the Author's intention.

Yes. Brandon Sanderson IS awesome, why do you ask?

Since it is meant to confuse people, the only way we'll actually be able to use eastern slang in a Forum RP is if there's communication between the characters involved. If you want to post in Eastern slang, the people you're talking to need to be able to understand.

There are many methods to doing just that, among which are PMs, email, IMing, and the Cbox on this page.

There are very few 'rules' to the grammar of this dialect, but I have listed those ones I could find.

First, when you break it down, what is most important is the beginning and the ending. The beginning and end of a sentence is important, and the words in the middle are less so. This rule is not always true, but it works for most occassions.

Second, the dialect has a focus on the possessive, meaning prepositions are overused. At least one 'Of the,' 'With the,' 'In the,' or 'To the' should be included in every sentence, often attached to things that make only tenuous sense.

Third, nicknames are thrown in to the sentence just to confuse others. For instance: "Kelsier and the others are waiting for you on the third floor," becomes "You're wanted. Ups in the where above with the doing. With Master Jumps to the third floor."

The dialect is, however not very restrictive grammatically. "It's not nice to play with my emotions," could be "Niceing the not on the playing without," as it is in the book. But it could also be "Playing of the play, not of the nice." Or many other variations.

Fourth, nonsense words are often thrown in just to confuse people, for instance: "He's stressed. It makes his mind dull and apathetic," becomes "Losing the stress on the nip. Notting without the needing of care." Here nip refers to wit.

Similarly, "Riding the rile of rids to the right," is complete nonsense, but is interpereted as agreement that yes, he is dimwitted and uncaring.

For more examples, "He wishes he was smarter, but wishing doesn't actually make him smarter," becomes "Wasing the was of brightness. Nip the having of wishing of this."

And "He's always wished that," becomes "Ever wasing the doing of this."

But there are many other sentences in eastern slang that could have sent the same messages. The author thinks of Eastern slang as a living language, so as time progresses and new generations start using it, the 'ing' might become an 'ed.' Thus, these rules are not always applicable.

So, basically, Write what you want to say. Then take it and reduce it down to the most important words. Twist those words around, and try to remove any negative words. It's harder to write with them, but it can be done. Put 'ing' on words it doesn't belong on, and use vague prepositions at every possible instance. Then, every once in a while, say complete nonsense.

Again, since the language is insensible, you'll want to clarify your intent with a PM or an IM to the intended recipient, then they can respond to exactly what you mean to say, and they can provide a proper reasoning or translation in their next post. This is how it was done in the books most of the time. Spook would say something, and someone would attempt to translate before responding.

And since we're RPing, we need to understand what the other characters are saying. Communication is crucial. If a character is absolutely incomprehensible, he's not interesting.


If anyone would like to help improve this, I would greatly appreciate the collaboration!