Timewaster's Guide Archive

Actually I didn't find any part affectedly sentimental. The piece as a whole is sentimental because of the relationship between this lonely demented man and his kind neighbors, also because of the theme of self sacrifice.

I found the narration affectedly reminiscent of 60's pulp fiction. That clashed with the genuine if somewhat cliche'd emotions of the piece.

Sean,

One note. It is a bit easier on me if you can manage MS Office Document format or RTF. PDF doesn't allow me to do inline edits and comments so you stand the risk of my losing the reference for comments that I make. I'm not sure what Silk and Chaos would say about ODT but I know they have no problem with plain text, DOC or RTF. Something to consider.

The story is nice, but not compelling. The statistics are, I supposed, to convey the idea that something weird happened, but the ghostly quality isn't in the telling. It's more important to show how eeire it is than just tell us with math, something that makes a lot of readers' eyes glaze over.

Secondly the climax lacks compulsion and drama. The narrative and the images should grab the reader and not let him --as I did-- get bored and start wanting to skim rather than read just about the time he heads out the door for an old fashioned toxic root beer.

Also the short Jewish narrator with the Brooklyn accent (Rod Serling) does nothing to promote the story. It never really feels like twilight zone, because finding the comic book just doesn't seem magical and mysterious enough. Also the plasmosis from black mold is pretty obvious. Way, way over telegraphed.

I'd suggest reworking it and either trying to turn it into more of a moving love for the child, combined with intentional self sacrifice --something that would make it more of a Harper's type story-- or lay on the fantasy elements. Plasmoid delusions about yetis and Sasquatch do not make for Speculative Fiction per se. Trying to straddle the fence hasn't resulted in slip-stream as much as make it harder to do either genre in a strong way.

The oddities of expression seemed odd to me, but I overlooked them as they suggested an obsessive character, or a non native speaker as writing. In general you have a good hand, and I look forward to more submissions from you.

Martin produces great work, but discovery writers always struggle.

I'm looking forward to that next book. It's been a long time coming.

My favorite character would have to be a toss up. Every character has so many faults. Jon Snow, Samwell Tarly or Arya would have to be the big contenders.

well I didn't submit, and that was because All (at) RE just won't let me send. IT always bounces stating that the email recipient doesn't exist.

Incidentally I can't send to ANY address at RE including Silk. So it seems that I'll not be submitting.

Personally I think only two of the Star Wars books are worth reading. The original film adaptation novel of "Star Wars" (I think it's now called episode 4 or some such) is one. The other is Splinter of the Mind's Eye by Foster.

In general franchise novel aren't the best work of an author. If he gets really creative there's the danger of introducing non- canonical elements --something I think is a serious error enough to spoil an otherwise good novel-- or to feel so constricted the narrative suffers. Either way, same author working his own patch is much more worthwhile.

Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forest of the stars,
How I love thy fearful, flying teatray.

I've had a lot going on. My dad got very ill, and I was one of two full time caregivers. Previously I had been part time mostly offering adult daycare etcetera. But he had a fall and was severely abused while in hospital. We caught it an pulled him out so we could care for him at home, but not before the damage was unrecoverable. He passed on a few weeks ago and I've been decompressing. In the middle of this my laptop that I use as my main home computer died an unnatural death and I have been trying to rebuild my life from scraps left hither and yon.

I submitted my first novel El Shaddu over the threshold at a major publisher and when I didn't hear back from then within the time they allot for that, I resubmitted with a free-lance acquisitions editor at another house.

In all that I finished a short story set in the world on my novel El Shaddu. It's not ready for PG audiences, a bit violent etc.

And I've written 30% of a new novel (the rest is in outline format).

Started a new blog about the foibles of trying to get published.

I've also written a couple of short "faerie tales." I maintain that real people have fantasy lives. Just because characters live in a fantasy world doesn't mean they won't fantasize themselves, so I have written these tales from the perspective of the characters in my new novel. It helps me characterize them more strongly and the tales aren't a bad read from our perspective either.

Considering shooting Eric dead before he hits send . . . .
Silk, Erik can one of you message me with the email address you are using for me because I have only been getting submissions from a couple of newer members. Had a computer meltdown a bit ago and I'm completely sure what's where.

Also I'd like to submit. I was on the plus side when I disappeared this time.