Timewaster's Guide Archive

    Ahem...
   
    You all have been bugging me to know what I would do if I were president.  I have more than likely been pissing you off by saying," I will not give my ideas for what I would do if I was president, because I am not, and do not plan on becoming, president."
   
   So here it is...
   
   I would pressure congress into making a law that requires flue shots to every american citizen.  It does not matter in age, size, race, religon, ect.  Then I would work out a tax scam which included dropping a few dolars from every american with a wae of $55000 dolars or under a year.  I would "find out" about my scam and blame it one hunderd percent on my secutary of treasury.  He would go to prison for a very, very long time.  I don't think I would like my secutary of treasury...

   Then I would, if needed (which I don't think it would be) pressure congress into passing a law that evenly spreads the money the government lost across everyone and is to be payed as soon as humanly possible.  I would do everything as the majority public wanted it for as long as it takes for this bill to be passed.  

   When this bill comes in and the government recieves it's due I would slowly seep money from the nuclear weapons and space exploration department and pay for a patented nano-bot like object.  Let me explain these.

   These nano-bots are so extremely small than theylatch on to your cells.  It would latch on to every cell on your heart, brain stem and red blood cells in your body.  They would be powered by body heat.  Every citizen of the united states would volunteerly have them in their body.  You wanna know why?  Because I will get them into the manditory flue shot.  If you are bad, I shock you to death by starting a chain reaction of electrical amplification in which an electical spark hits shoots from one, easily passes through your mostly water body, and hits an antennea on another and amplified.  The process time estimated before your entire body shocks itself to death is less than half a minuite.

    Once every citizen on the United States has these in him or her I would make an example of my cabinet and the audience of my state of the union address on live TV.  

     Once everyone understands their peril I will use the excact fequency shot out of eveyones brain.  You know, the natural frequency of an object.  I will take that frequncey and shoot it into everyones ear, hopefully wiping their memory clean by instantly destroying brain cells.  A telephone, boombox or computer can do this easily.  I will then cause everyone to believe I was their loving ruler and they wanted to go to war against Canada because of an unacceptable deed done.  
 
 Once we invade Canada, I will do the same there.

   And slowly but surely I will own the world.  The estimated process time after I become president is 15-30 years.  That is why you don't want me as president.  Of coarse, I might be better than Bush...

Gorgon the Wonder Cow

My statement made "precisly less that no sense"?

I make a statement and you automatically pull onion in just because we respond to eachother well and are the same age and know eachother.  That is putting people into a group.

Now stay with me.  If you are putting people into a group that easily, so do racists and sexists, right?  That is what racism and sexism is.  It is either seeing a group of people infirior due to a difference or seeing an entire group of people a way due to your opinion of one or a few.

That is what you did.  You blamed Onion for my joke about dead babies, which by the way was supposed to be a statement of how I can't seem to do anything right.

    Well at least Fuzzy Octopus understands my statement.  

    And you probably shouldn't connect my statement with Onions and Vis-Versa.  He never made a joke about dead babies.  I did.  Think about it.  By making assumptions like that stuff like racism and sexism occurs.  In fact that is just what it racism, sexism, ect are.  Judging a bunch of people either by a difference they have or by one of someone like them.  This kinda makes me jump to the conclusion that if you judge him by what I do and vis versa you must be a racist sexist pig!  I mean if I judged all of you by that statement, well, I'd think all of you are racist sexist pigs.  But I don't jump to conclusions like that.  get it?  I supported it and everything!  

   You are right.  I did ask for responses.  And now I'm, ungracefully, eating my words.  I do appreciate your responses, not your attacks.  Anyway, just because you responded does not mean I can't defend my position.  Anyway, as for entering a community slowly and steadily, I normally go for the stealthy approach (ask Onion over there) but the way I see it, this is the time wasters guide and I needed to waste some time.  I think I got a feel for it now, though, so I think my next posts will fit in better.

Gorgon the Wonder Cow

    If you continue to ask me the same question I will continue to answer with the same answer.

   I will not give my ideas for what I would do if I was president, because I am not, and do not plan on becoming, president.  If I was trying to run for president I would, however have ideas that would get me elected.  I wouldn't promise them then not perform.  I know you'll respond "Every president broke a few promises...blah-d-blah blah" and I probably would too, to a degree.  But cutting funding from my own educational program...

   So I do not make the same mistake again, and to humour me, wha was so horrible about my reasonings?  Just because they were based in commonly known facts shouldn't make them horrible reasonings.  I have thought about these facts and based my opinion around the big things, for the fine details is not what matters at this part of the presidency, in my opinion.  No amount of fine details can distort the way he screwed up, in my opinion, and just because I don't have in depth of a knowlage as you does not mean my opinion is illegitimate, it is just not as well supported as yours.  It is, however, supported so it's not like I based my opinion on what others think.  If you think I did then you are sorely mistaken.

   Fuzzy Octopus, my statement was not directed towards you.  Also, was I wrong?  Was my statement incorrect?  No?  Then it's just stating both a fact and my opinion, and if you get one I do too.