Timewaster's Guide Archive

In general, yes, though I'm not sure how good the connection is outside the bookstore. I've only used it in the Talmage Building and the Crabtree building.

LTU - I'm apologizing, like ryos, because I haven't even looked at your submissions yet. I'm actually quite interested in your story, it's just that I have little to no spare time right now. Hence the 25 or so unread reading excuses submissions in my inbox.

And I need to make one important point - the prologue is from the point of view of a character who thinks of the demons as the good guys. This does not mean that the rest of the characters in the main story think of the demons as the good guys. However, you make a valid point, that anyone reading the prologue is going to immediately think that the demons are the good guys. I might to better just to keep the demon references to a minimum.

Cynic - I'll see what I can come up with that will keep it interesting. I knew this would be fairly predictable, but it was just the first thing that came to mind for a prologue. I haven't made any effort to change the plot up at all like I have with most of the rest of the story. A little thought should yield something slightly less predictable.

Mostly, I'm just glad to hear that my prose is still decent after two months of not writing. Thanks for the comments everybody!

Of course it's a given that Kaz is a menace to society. I just wanted to officially declare this.

Maybe we should set an amount of time that we have to wait before impeaching a HoA? I can just see this turning into a constant stream of impeaching an re-electing.

That, or just say that you can't impeach them and they get a year to be the tyrannical dictator. That could be fun too.

You are, of course, right. I knew the dialogue was going to be a big problem on this one, because it's the first thing I've written in a month and a half. So I apologize profusely for the awfulness I put you through there.

The second Iliere scene had many issues, in fact, I think you were pretty easy on that particular one. But I wrote this after filling out a financial aid application for 4 hours. I pretty much didn't really care about much at that point, and I was just trying to crank this out. I only did a quick revise, and as such it kind of sucks in places.

I'm glad the prose is still decent, because it means I haven't completely lost it over the last couple of months.

As to the fact that there's no real setting - I originally wrote this scene with a detailed description of the setting. When I read through it, it was extremely ponderous and heavy, and that wasn't the feel that I wanted for the beginning of the book. Or the rest of that for that matter. So i just overcorrected. I'll have to work on getting the balance right.

ryos, thanks for pointing out the whole thing with the last line. Again, this is a revising issue. In the original draft, Iliere didn't try to kill God while still in heaven, so it was a new character development for him to decide to kill God. When I re-wrote it, I didn't change the plot at all to match the new sequence of events. I'm now seriously considering ending with him being thrown out of heaven and calling that that. Do you think that would work better?

The Demons aren't the good guys in this story. They're just another group of people, one who is hardly involved at all in the main plot. Nor are the Angels even the bad guys. In fact, the prologue provides backstory that adds a lot at a later point in the story, but it isn't actually really part of the main story arc at all. I wrote it as the prologue because I thought it could be fairly interesting if done well. If the themes that appear in it (that don't really match the rest of the story) are going to annoy readers before they ever get to the rest of the story, though, it might be time to ditch it and use a different scene, depending on how everyone else reacts to it.

I suspect the preachiness has something to do with the fact that I was going for a God voice and overshooting. And that I haven't written in a while. And that my dialogue has never really been my strength in the first place.

LTU: You made a comment about why the archangels and Katrei don't just stop him. Actually, the Archangels can't stop him, though Katrei could. You're right, though, the scene would be more effective if I just had the Archangels attack him, and if Katrei didn't seem to get so worked up. I'm glad you thought the action flowed well, though.

The Three Kingdoms - I made up on the spot and can easily change. I have no attachment to them whatsoever, and in fact, thinking about the way the rest of the plot connects with this, it would almost work better if I just used the Kingdom of Heaven.

I'll clean it up a bit and see if you like the revision better. But first, on to chapter 4!

Thanks for the comments. And as to harshness, this was actually just what I was looking for, if not slightly harsher. It's pretty hard to hurt my feelings, and even when you do, I tend to just get pissed off and try to prove you wrong. Which in this instance, wouldn't be a bad thing. So keep the criticisms coming.

LTU - sorry I haven't said anything on your last 4 submissions. I'm getting there. ryos, you don't get an apology until you do my other stuff, but I'll get to yours eventually too.

I did submit.... hope that's ok.

And I agree, the amazon ads are amazing - I think, however, that the google ads are better.

Just finished Servant of a Dark God. It was really good, but slow at first. Once I got past the first 150 pages or so, it picked up substantially. I think I just couldn't bring myself to care about the characters for the first little while, but got into a bit more as I came to know them a bit.

Starting Lamentation by Ken Scholes, which I had a few friends recommend to me, and which I was able to get for $4 in hardcover. Figured I really couldn't go wrong there (unless it's absolutely dreadful, which, from what I'm hearing, it's not).

Though of course it may now be delayed as I have a Dust of Dreams reading marathon. I had completely forgotten that it was out, which makes me feel like a bad sci-fi/fantasy reader. So I'll remedy that by immediately picking it up.

I would like to appeal to everybody to use the words "Reading Excuses" in their subject lines of their emails. I could set up more filters so that they all naturally go to the right place, but it's much easier if you all just facilitate my laziness.

After much college and scholarship applying, I am (nearly) back from the dead. I can try to submit something tomorrow, if you'd like, or if we're too busy I can wait until next week. Either way, I need to get going again, or my book will fizzle. It already hates me for leaving it with no effort whatsoever for 3 weeks.

Anyway............

Oh, to all the numerous people who have submitted....pretty much anytime in December or January, I promise, I'm getting to critiques. I just haven't had time recently. I now have a life again, though, so I should be able to get at least some done tomorrow as well.

Chaos/Silk (Chalk?) - Just let me know if you'd prefer I submit or wait till next week.