Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - vadia

Pages: [1] 2 3 4
Brandon Sanderson / Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« on: May 03, 2007, 05:42:32 PM »
Nice turnaround.  We all should have seen that Golem ex machina.  But couldn't have.

A few minor points which made reading difficult for me.
  Of course, that didn’t work for many of the stones they passed.  Though large chucks of the building were still black, a good half of it had been turned white.
   Not just the grey of normal Awakening.  They had been made a bone white.  And, becoming that white, they now reacted to his incredible BioChroma, splitting back into colors.  Like a circle, somehow, she thought.  Colorful, then white, then back to color.
The second paragraph is bulky with the first. 

I think You mean that the white glow and black don't, but the "though ..." sets me up for non-glowing as the major focus, so I was confused. 
Perhaps something like this:  of course . . . passed Though large chunks of the building were still colorless black, a good half of it had been turned white.  Not merely the grey etc.,

The breeze blew Siri’s hair--red, to show her displeasure--as they stood atop the palace. 
Breeze blew red?  Did the color change have something to do with wind before?

“I don’t want to see anyone,” Susebron said.  “Who are they?”
Seems too sudden a transition of emotions, from "GO AWAY," to "well now I'm curious, who is it?"

Maybe Split it up, or just get rid of "Who are they"

   Siri paused hesitantly.  Silly, she thought.  This is Vivenna.  I can trust her.
   She’d thought she could trust Bluefingers too.  Vivenna regarded her with a curious expression.
Just an odd set of juxtaposition, and maybe a mid paragraph focus change  (she, vivenna)

   It was a quick judgment.  She had gotten over chastising herself for making those, though she had learned to leave herself open to reinterpret. 

Sounds like she's chastising herself for making a quick judgement there, and I think you should say "reinterpret them." or similar statements.

“You have a group of rogue Lifeless,” Vasher said.  “You’ve lost control of them.”
   “I’m sorry, my lord,” the God King said.
   Vasher regarded him.  Then, he glanced at Vivenna.  She nodded her head.  “I trust him.”

This whole scene seems odd, sure I understood that Vasher is from the Manywars, but that he is accepted as a lord and it isn't helped by the stilted conversations IMNSHO here.

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« on: April 26, 2007, 04:39:24 AM »
Unless I totally misunderstand what happened I think that Lightbold ought to have an on screen scene of giving over all of his breaths and life for Suseborn.  Maybe with Llarimar crying out or something.  It is more sad to me that Lightbold had no on-screen death [especially with a spectacular sacrifice like that] than that he died. 

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Y.A.S.P... (Also known as Scribbler)
« on: April 25, 2007, 02:10:47 PM »
That's got to count as some sort of mental disorder. Granted, it's a disorder that earns you money, but still...

I'm leaning towards some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder at the moment. Generally, being a workaholic (even if you love you job) is considered a compulsion if it isn't part of personality disorder.

Interesting enough, I'm seriously considering declaring studying mental health and artistic endeavors as a thesis for graduate school research. I'll be looking for case studies then. So EUOL, just come down with something like schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder in the next year or so...

Unless it is obsessive compulsive personality disorder then he enjoys his work too much to be O.C.D.

(Technically an obsession is when one thinks of something and doesn't want to think about it, and then thinks about it again, and again and rinse lather repeat! [sometimes quite literally the last step with compulsions])

Brandon Sanderson / Re: PC or Mac?
« on: April 23, 2007, 04:00:24 AM »
P. Let us know what you decided! (please, pretty please with microchips on top)

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Taxes...
« on: April 20, 2007, 01:25:41 AM »
It's true that tax deduction only save a little on taxes because they only reduce taxable income, thus only indirectly reducing the tax by an individual tax rate. Thus, if anyone tries to talk you into doing something because of a tax deduction, think hard about it. It usually isn't a good idea to do something just to get a tax deduction.

Clothes or other items that one has grown out of, donations when one has to get rid of it is one of the few actions that really have a positive net effect on tax deductions. 
You're not using it, and you probably won't.  You're going to get rid of it anyway -- take the tax deduction.

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« on: April 20, 2007, 12:59:06 AM »
Why would Denth need Vivena, he's been paid already.

The point of a lot to do while falling is quite good.
it puts  a damper on my suggestion which would have been that Vivena tells Vasher to catch her as she jumps out the window. 
But I suppose you could just push it up a couple of floors to . . . say the 6th story floor.

Brandon Sanderson / Re: PC or Mac?
« on: April 19, 2007, 03:40:19 AM »
fewer viruses are made for macs, so they tend to work better in that way.

IBM programs tend to come out sooner -- especially games.

Told to me by Computer Renaissance worker

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« on: April 19, 2007, 03:35:04 AM »
I think she took the cloaks breath, and then gave it back the same breath with a command.

When I read
“He just fell out a three story window, plummeting toward certain doom,” Denth said.  “Of course he’ll live!  Send the squad for the front doors to slow him!”  Denth glanced at Vivenna.  “You, princess, are far too much trouble for what you’re worth.”
   “So people are fond of telling me,” she said with a sigh, raising her bloodied hand to her shoulder again.

I had the rather rude thought:
Helloooo rule 3; kill her.

By this I mean he's realized that she is too much trouble and has harmed his plans a lot, once she had a clue and there she's standing helpless before her.  It would take nearly nothing to kill her -- not even a minor delay. 

Unless she's killed behind the scenes, it seems silly to let her live to try to get in his way again.  Furthermore it would be poor for his bloodthirsty reputation to just say something along the lines of "hunh, she's gotten in my way, I guess I'l just let her go and do it again."

Brandon Sanderson / Re: 10 flaws
« on: March 29, 2007, 01:54:37 AM »
No, I'm upset that every character is tweaked out.

A hobbit who has lived on the farm his whole life shouldn't be a robin hood -- it's like your next door couch potato neighbors learning about boxing tomorrow and all of them contenders for the heavy weight champion next week -- it makes no sense.  But EVERY character in LOTR is an excellent fighter even after a life of presumably never having fought before in some cases.   There is no character who is "substandard."

The super uruks are something akin to jokes by the end of the second book and we essentially need demons similar ilk to fight the characters so that it would be interesting.  And then they only come when they are needed for the plot.  ARRGH!

Or so it feels to me.

on a side note I really hope that one of the flaws is generic evil and generic good.  -- I dare anyone to get me started on that one!

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Art of Sanderson: Usagi the Fan-Fan
« on: March 28, 2007, 10:01:47 PM »

I chose those dresses because of their easy to describe shapes, not necessarily because of their actual cuts and look.  That's the style I wanted--or, rather, I wanted those style of skirts with a more traditional medieval top. 

Longest of long suffering sighs, I knew that (my wife wanted the same general shape for her wedding dress -- though we chopped up two dresses to such an extent that neither was recognizable); I just can't help making fun of modern styles

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Warbreaker: Free Ebook
« on: March 28, 2007, 09:29:56 PM »
I didn't like the "lap lap lap" thing maybe if it were in thought symbols.

I think that the torture scene was too short.  (not enough time to make up his mind.  He's in so much shock that they'd have killed Llarimar before he fully understood that Blushweaver was dead.)

"We'll give you an hour to decide -- then we'll do the same with him (point to llarimar)."
type of thing.

Llarimar doesn't seem the heroic type, I think he'd whimper while Lightsong agonizes over his choice.

After an hour of that and the interregator whips out his knife with Lightsong's momentary hesitation and he'd blurt out the response in a New York minute.  IMNSHO.

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Mistborn Wallpaper One
« on: March 28, 2007, 07:28:41 PM »

I have to agree, the first is better than the second. Maybe if we had a different view of the Inquisitor and a quote from one of them instead of the Lord Ruler... Like where he's looking straight ahead with one of those scary, creepy, creepy smiles.

I thought he was wearing glasses until I looked closer.

The most effective pose to show the nails would be at (assuming straight on is a 0 degree angle) a 110-135 degree angle so that you can see the side of the face -- see no glasses are holding in the nails and have the backs of the nails stick out of the eyes. 

But fundamentally I believe that it's hard to see what they are without knowing ahead of time.  The guy in the corner of the book merely looks blind to me.

Brandon Sanderson / Re: 10 flaws
« on: March 28, 2007, 07:20:56 PM »
To be fair, they gain a bunch of new allies in Rivendell, which I think is central to Vadia's complaint.  But I agree with your general point, there are plenty of places like the house of Tom Bombadil and Lorien where they do stop, take off their boots for a bit, make plans, and then continue on.  And there are plenty of encounters that start out decidedly neutral: the ents; the Riders of Rohan; Denethor; Faramir...

I think good writing is a continual balance of selecting details that both augment the story and make it believable to readers, while not including extraneous details that bog the story down.  Obviously different readers like and look for different levels of detail and different kinds of details, which is part of why different books all have their adherents.

I meant a farm house in which they just rest there worried about the morn -- and nothing happens.  No, instead they meet Tom, who evidently in his corner of the world is fighting against Sauron, and then the decidedly neutrals all pick sides.  --Everybody they meet is either a big-shot or becomes a big-shot -- there are no farmers who just farm. 
Compare it with Elantris -- the maids are just maids, the begger, while he gives a vital piece of information is just a begger, even the main priest of Domi Isn't some mythical whatnot.  Each of them gets as much of a role as the original inhabitant from Elantris, who would be a mystical individual on some level, or Shoar. 

Even the "simple hobbits" become the war laden heroes and can all shoot like Robin of Luxley (on their bad days).

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Mistborn as a Video Game
« on: March 28, 2007, 05:53:54 AM »
I never thought that these type of games got the feel right.  Though I think that EUOL will be able to take more of the world through his undead hoards if it were made a computer game -- I fear that it is inevitable that the game will be as maloderous as 7 month old fish.

Brandon Sanderson / Re: Mistborn Wallpaper One
« on: March 28, 2007, 04:53:50 AM »
I thought it was Vin Desil.
Who is Vin Desil (and is there a Vin Unleaded?)

Pages: [1] 2 3 4