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Messages - Maxwell

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1
Writing Group / the middle of knowhere
« on: May 02, 2008, 06:45:46 PM »
so this is the first chapter of a new project I'm working on, it's a stream of consciousness journal entry style piece meant to log my travels through the midwest, some feedback would be appreciated.
chapter one: cadmium yellow and dry lips.

It's four-thirty in the morning and I'm awake again, this isn't unusual, in fact it's necessary, it's a way of life for us smart-ass nocturnal psuedo-philosophical children of some imaginary second tier revolution, you know the one I'm talking about, the nineties, veritable transcendental mediocrity at it's finest. I've long been of the opinion that human life, by which I mean humanity, is always, and I can't stress that word enough, always better viewed at night. Daytime is all well and good, if you want to watch people pretend, the light of the sun is too judgemental, every word and action is as fake and forced as sixty percent of all orgasms on this blue little planet, no, to get to the core of people you need to do it in the dark.
Lets start from the beginning, seven in the morning, this is when I'd wake up if I wasn't already awake from the night before. I shower, shave, take my standard issue american morning meds, then throw on some jeans and my formal houndstooth slippers and mosey downstairs for some breakfast. The dinning hall is provocativley colored and styled to look like some sort of late nineties night club or coffee shop, but the illusion is incomplete and nobody is really fooled, it just smells too much like the midwest. Which reminds me, the midwest, hell of a place, eggs from cartons, biscuits and gravy, but not just any gravy, white gravy. Yes truly this is a wonderland to me, my childhood in california taught me nothing of these things, my nostalgic breakfast is one comprised of starbucks.
Eight in the morning, I go for a long walk because I don't have class until eleven, which I will no doubt sleep-walk through before selling the rest of my daylight hours away to the darkroom, this works for me, it prepares me for the real start of my day, seven at night, when I emerge from the chemical rich darkness into the sodium rich twilight of saint louis. I go for another walk, just to get a feel for the night, then I convene with others not entirely unlike myself, people who don't question my navy pinstripe blazer and round dark glasses as I wander through the darkness. It's now nearly one in the morning, we never do anything specific but there is a rudimentary pattern we follow as if led by instinct to an ancsestral watering hole, metaphorically speaking of course, in actuality it tends to be some slap dash steak and shake, maybe a waffle house, or some other flourescent yellowed diner. We sit on quaint fifties style stools, served by people in little paper hats and aprons. The sick cadmium yellow light flickers and shines on their skin, and on ours too, at this time of night all are equals, we become no different than the faux-soda jerks and the waitresses named marge, time will eventually turn us into them, or something else equally bizarre, so we sit. Dani will order eggs and waffles, Manda will try to convince herself she isn't hungry but eventually gives in and orders the same, while I sit quietly content with my burger, we discuss our exploits for the day and at some point either Manda or Dani will whisper something to the other, they will both shoot me a look, and I will on cue inquire as to the nature of said look just like i did the night before, and just like the night before they will both say nothing and laugh, and then life will continue on, just like the night before.

2
Everything Else / Re: Best Quote Lately Reincarnated
« on: December 16, 2007, 11:21:26 AM »
"Therapists just don't love me the way i hate them" my friend michelle at 2 in the morning over coffee
"Hit that, hit that like the fist of an angry god" My hilariously cute little ex girlfriend sarah when asked what she thought about another girl I"m interested in....the stuff that comes out of her mouth sometimes...
"Tonight sam... tonight's the night for bricks" My three year old nephew when asked why he was enigmatically stacking bricks in intricate spiral patterns around our peach trees

3
Everything Else / Re: Names?
« on: July 14, 2007, 06:29:39 AM »
I had a very good friend named rex.

4
Everything Else / Re: Best Quote Lately Reincarnated
« on: July 14, 2007, 04:57:18 AM »
Sarah said this to me about a week ago over the phone. "I miss you so much right now, I'm trying to get a ride over there... actually about an hour ago I saw a pick up truck full of mexican gardeners driving in the direction of your house and I was tempted to hitch a ride and just show up and suprise you."

5
Everything Else / Re: Names?
« on: July 14, 2007, 04:35:57 AM »
names huh, well I got plenty of unnusual names...
bertram
Zedrick
Solomon
Omar
Yusef
Shammash
Nannar
Sandlfron
Aloisius(al-oo-wish-us)
Terrato
Nichodemus
Dolan
Dorian
Pul
Ahn
Machaevil
Ensetsurean
Sskroe(s-crow)
Belial
Farfalis
Jaydev
Raj
Rex
Julius
Aggares(ah-gary-s)

that would be a short list of names from my dinner table, I suppose it's useful that we all have 16 each...

6
Rants and Stuff / Drastic and irreversable
« on: January 01, 2007, 09:58:07 AM »
so this is for posting anything drastic and or irreversable you may have done to yourself, someone, or something lately.
I'll start:
I signed up to be an organ donor
I got a pink butterfly tattooed on my back.

7
Everything Else / Re: Best Quote Lately Reincarnated
« on: December 05, 2006, 04:40:50 AM »
"God ****ing Da**it why can't I be addicted to something normal, like crack.

8
Video Games / Re: Final Fantasy XII
« on: November 09, 2006, 07:13:04 PM »
well the mist chains refer to gathering and releasing vast amounts of "mist" which is a reference to the supernatural fog of soul fragments that permeates the world, a convention from ff9.

9
Video Games / Re: Final Fantasy XII
« on: November 08, 2006, 09:07:38 PM »
also mist chains are entirely amusing.

10
Video Games / Re: Final Fantasy XII
« on: November 05, 2006, 01:33:48 AM »
so I'm almost half way through ff12, and I gotta say, I was skeptical, but I think it's one of my favorites now. also I'm enjoying the middle eastern and mediterranian theme... finally I have some reference points.

11
Music / Re: Whats playin now?
« on: October 30, 2006, 11:34:03 PM »
Minutn Fun Bitochn-Lipovsky Shura

well hey, maybe I like a little traditional yiddish music evey now and then.

12
Everything Else / Re: Something for your amusement/interest/review,
« on: October 26, 2006, 02:54:49 AM »
I'm not retarded, it's my SIN# not my SSN#

13
Everything Else / Re: Something for your amusement/interest/review,
« on: October 25, 2006, 10:42:48 PM »
haha sorry bout that. the number is sort of an inside joke.

14
Everything Else / Re: Something for your amusement/interest/review,
« on: October 23, 2006, 09:40:57 AM »
A (10:20:13 PM): ok haha
M (10:21:54 PM): through prolonged cultivation the essence can transcend the body, not so much in a magical immortal way, but in that the nature of the person remains imprinted on the world forever, the world itself(or more likely a group of people) become the driving force(anima) that powers the continued existance and evolution of the persons spirit
A (10:22:34 PM): hm
M (10:23:23 PM): we(not physically) are the remenants of people who's souls did not die with their bodies and those fragments have coalesed to create something bigger than themselves people who do not truly die are the people who make up the consciousness of the world, the people who become part of the universal ideas and thoughts and feelings of everyone. to avoid soul death by becoming part of a collective planetary soul, not even planetary, universal. the spirit of kindness, the essence of courage, must surely exist in all societies terrestrial or otherwise. the point is souls are engines of creations, they power and control bodies to give shape to the universe. any questions, objections, or thoughts at all?
A (10:28:37 PM): i think you have some good ideas
M (10:28:56 PM): you don't disaggree? at all?
A (10:30:08 PM): well, not necessarily i mean, if thats what you believe than thats cool
M (10:30:37 PM): haha
A (10:30:47 PM): but i dont think its unbelievable or anything haha
M (10:31:24 PM): well I'm trying to look at this from a perspective devoid of science and religion. because consciousness is merely an emergent property of the body whereas thought itself is consciousness of the soul, or byproduct of the spirit more likely. but I don't think you retain consciousness when you die. I think consciousness and being aware only happens in a body
A (10:33:37 PM): ye
M (10:33:38 PM): but  the unconscious is immortal
A (10:33:39 PM): yea
M (10:34:04 PM): the soul that doesn't die with the body is not conscious it doesnt know what it is, but it still exists. you know how they say a person isn't gone unless you forget them
A(10:35:11 PM): yea
M (10:35:20 PM): and how "yeah they always used to do that" etc, when a person is remebered or someone references the workings of someones spirit it is because that persons soul still exists, a fragment of it is embedded in the conscious of other people and if lasts long enough it is incorporated into their own soul
A (10:36:51 PM): hm ya
M (10:37:42 PM): which is why I say we(not physically) are partially the result of a collective universal soul(morals perspectives etc)  the past, all of history, all the  memories , those are the soul of the universe
A(10:40:36 PM): ahaha thats cool XD max, i like how you think :-D lol
M (10:42:25 PM): all souls have the potential to be part of the lets say origin and durin your life is when you imprint yourself on the universe by becoming part of it so when you die you don't really die, just sort of lose weight. but the way to develop the the soul i think has to do with identifying and confronting your essence. the anima is what gives form to the essence and drives the spirit into life. anima=purpose essence=motivation spirit=execution, the purpose is what you need to do, why you exist, your essence is the basis of your being the one word definition of a person, and the spirit is what you do, the soul is how you do it. so in a sense, your soul is you style. style is the most important thing in life a person is defined by what they do, but it is the style that defines the doing
A (10:50:26 PM): yea
M (10:51:35 PM): i think I'll call it "the theory of ethereal pin-stripes"
A (10:52:10 PM): haha
M (10:53:00 PM): told you it was a doozy
A (10:53:29 PM): lol its cool

So I hope you enjoyed that.

15
Everything Else / Something for your amusement/interest/review,
« on: October 23, 2006, 09:40:36 AM »
Well I recently had a very interesting revelation/conversation witha friend of mine, I think it's pretty neat so I have submitted it here, who knows you might be entertained or inspired or something, enjoy.

Ashley(A) (9:23:59 PM): yo just cookin stuff
Max(M) (9:24:12 PM): yay cooking! I just had a revelation and boy is it a doozy
A (10:00:34 PM): lol, what was it
M (10:00:49 PM): well it pertains to the nature of the soul, that kind of stuff doesn't bother you does it?
A(10:01:23 PM): no
M (10:01:28 PM): okay then here I go. first truth: The soul is more than the sum of it's parts. second truth: The soul can exist on it's own. third truth:the soul is not required to be alive. you have the spirit which is say someone's conscious, who they are how they think. you have their essence which is the most fundamental part of their being, that which determines the nature of their spirit.
A(10:04:48 PM): hmm
M (10:04:53 PM): then the anima, which is the driving force the thing that animates the spirit and anchors it to the essence but I think the better word for this is will, it pulls the componets out of darkness and forces them into being. but all this together creates someting that is more than itself. a sort of 2+2=5
A (10:06:36 PM): haha'
M (10:06:38 PM): that 5 is the soul. but something does not need to be alive to have a soul. a soul can be dormant, but it can also be destroyed, it cannot however be seperated from it's vessel. the soul of knife would be dormant and therefore based soley on it's essence rather than spirit. the essence of a knife is cutting, you cannot seperate that act from the knife
A (10:08:39 PM): yeah
M (10:08:48 PM): but breaking the knife would disable it from cutting, by doing that you have broken it's soul by tearing it's essence out, the same way you can break a persons soul by breaking their spirit, anima(will/ being alive)+spirit+essence=soul, spirit+essence also =soul
A (10:11:06 PM): yea, i see what youre saying
M (10:11:16 PM): however one cannot have a soul devoid of essence nor can one have a sould devoid of spirit, the spirit may be dormant or suppressed, but it mast have the capacity to exist. the body is a very large part of the soul. the psyche is the soul's way of interacting with the physical world. the body is heavily linked to the essence which in most ordianry cases is fulfilled and executed thru the body. no body no essence, ussually.the psyche communicates with the spirit. essence=physical(ussually) spirit=mental
A (10:15:09 PM): yea'
M (10:15:32 PM): the mind and body accomidate the essence and spirit while the heart(not physically) supplies the anima. damage one and the soul is damaged, but develope one and you further develope the soul. the physically world is most likely one of the lower levels of existence
A (10:16:41 PM): did you write all of this down>? XD haha
M (10:16:48 PM): as we speak
A (10:16:56 PM): cool
M (10:17:29 PM): when you develop in the womb for nine months your body is created to house the soul, you are given the various tools to deal with the physical world, however during birth creation of the soul is involuntary. but after birth development of the soul IS voluntary and if you do not develop it before you die your soul dies with the body, but and this is where my ideas become a little harder to believe.

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