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Topics - Shivertongue

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I've put Essence on hold for the time being, and instead have been working on this. Wavepainter is an idea I've been percolating for several months now, and only recently got the spark I needed to begin writing it. I'm approaching it differently than most other projects... but I'm not telling you how. Not yet, anyway. It might colour your view of the story. Or something.

The prologue is pretty short (and I might be cut, I'm not sure. That's one of the things I'm hoping to get some feedback on.) Both are unedited, for the most part, and quite unpolished and rough. The prologue was actually typed up in the last fifteen minutes, and hasn't been edited at all XD

Some quick summarizing...

Prologue: Too small to summarize. It's like, 600 words.

Chapter One: In which an exhibition is attended.

Please, tell me anything you can about this. What works, what doesn't work, what I'm doing well and what i can improve upon. I'm really excited about this project, and want to make it the best story I can.

(And let me reiterate: Give me the good as well as the bad. Pure negative or pure positive is the same as giving me nothing. I need both in order to improve.)

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

You'll notice I included chapter 1 along with chapter 2. The reason for this is that there were some significant changes made to chapter 1, and some parts of chapter 2 might not make sense without them. You can basically skip ahead in chapter 1 to the point where Mia is picking the lock of the Magistrate's parlour.

Commenting on chapter 1 isn't necessary, although any and all thoughts on the changes are welcome and appreciated! Enjoy!

EDIT: Also, I'm curious as to how it compares to chapter one in terms of structure, pacing, etc - basically aspects of the writing and storytelling. I have a specific reason for asking this, so if anyone can tell me anything in that regard, please do.

Here's chapter one, as of now the official beginning of the story and hopefully with less cliche. Enjoy!

As stated, this is the prologue. I also have the first chapter finished, and desperately want to submit it as well.. but since I don't want things thrown at me, I'll hold back until Monday night to see if people object voraciously to the idea.

Anyway, the rating is for some mild violence. Enjoy!

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