Timewaster's Guide Archive

The Toughs have so many ties to this particular world. So much history that could come back to bite them. I'm getting an inkling of what sorts of trouble they could get into...heh. 

Thanks for putting up with the late submission.

So, I realized that I needed to expand chapter 2 in order to bridge to chapter 3. So, read chapter 2b as though it were tacked onto the end of the previously submitted chapter 2.

In my first submission, I had not yet decided what to call Thoracious' country, so I left {country} placeholders in the text. I have tentatively named it Nalend.

Thanks again.

Here you are. "Benders" is a working title. This novel takes place just after the events of one of my previous submissions, the short story Dalrymple, the King, and the Future, though I should note that reading that story is not a prerequisite for this one. In other words, I tried to write this to an audience who hadn't read the prequel short.

Those who read DtKatF and follow the Progress and Submission Reports thread will note that Dalrymple's brain be a'talkin' again. Yes, I cut it from the short story. Yes, I'm bringing it back in the novel. AND YES, I know that most of you hated the brain. I think I have a pretty good in-world reason for bringing it back. I still think it's pretty funny. But! Please let me know if you still hates it.

I hate genres. Genres suck.

Despite reading numerous glowing reviews, and despite receiving your numerous assurances, and despite even reading the first chapter in the bookstore before buying it, I still went into I Am Not a Serial Killer expecting something at least resembling horror. I thought it might be a little dark, and more than a little disturbing, and even fairly gruesome, but it was none of those things. (Okay, it was a little gruesome, but not in a disturbing way.)

I stubbornly continued to cling to these notions because I was told it was a horror novel, and that's what I've come to expect from horror.

The first couple of chapters are the most disturbing in the book, and not because of all the embalming. It comes from the foreignness of looking through the eyes of someone with antisocial personality disorder. Sociopathy is not something I have any experience with; it's alien and scary, and coming face to face with it had me a little weirded out.

Then, I got to know John better, and I realized just how human he is. He has a crippling disorder, but then, so do I; all humans do. We're human—we're imperfect. We all have to struggle to rise above our baser natures and be good in spite of ourselves. John has to fight harder than most, but the amazing and inspirational thing is that he does.

Yes, I'm inspired by John Cleaver. His story is uplifting, and it makes me want to be a better person. I Am Not a Serial Killer took me on an emotional roller coster—I felt bad for John, I worried for John; I gloried in his triumphs and sorrowed for his failures; I laughed and, yes, at the end I cried. It gripped me and held me tight, and I could scarcely put it down.

What it did not ever do was scare me. "Horror" my foot. I want a sticker that says "I Am Not a Horror Novel" that I can stick on the cover.

Anyway, sorry for rambling at you, but I had to type that out and post it somewhere. You know how it goes.

For the tl;dr in all of us, I'll get right to the point: is there a place I can get sample chapters of Dan's books?

Why? Here's the deal: I don't really like horror. In fact, I avoid it. But, smart people whose opinions I trust keep recommending I Am Not a Serial Killer. And, well, I've enjoyed a Dean Koontz book or two in the past. I bet I could take it if the book were good enough.

But I want to be sure before I drop any dough on this, and that's where the sample chapters come in. If the books were out in the US I could just go to a book store. Well, I suppose I could wait 'till the 30th, too, but I'm starting to get that itch, you know, the one were you need a book to read...and if I'm going to be buying a book, I may as well make it IANASK—that is, of course, assuming I'd enjoy it.

Which brings us back to those sample chapters. I haven't been able to find any.

Is it me, or is Tagon channeling Bond? The formalwear, the consorting with married women, the jumping off balconies...

Kudos to Howard for using the lack of magic carbonan to ramp up the tension on something not involving bullets. Tagon jumping around the inside of a rotating space station—the dude's nuts. Remember how Schlock got smeared upon landing in Credomar?

If I were a betting man, I'd bet that the perp he's chasing isn't a thief or anything sinister. Betcha he's just a punk kid running some crazy centrifugal zero-gee parkour.

MEMORANDUM
Attn: All Hands
Re: Religious Discrimination

Due to the recent passage of the Tar Valon Fair Employment Act, the White Tower can no longer continue to discriminate against any Sister based solely on her creed. Therefore, effective immediately, we formally recognize the existence of the Black Ajah and grant it full and equal standing in the Hall of the Tower. Any Aes Sedai who declares for the Black is not to be persecuted.

Let us welcome our sisters of minority religious persuasion into the fold. Together, we shall again control the world.

Elaida a'Rohan
Watcher Over the Seals
The Flame of Tar Valon
The Amyrlin Seat

...I'm a dork.

Hello all,
   This story is my first experiment with discovery writing. I began writing only a couple of days after my initial idea, and plotted things out as I went, with only the vaguest idea of where the story needed to eventually go. Did the plotting suffer for it? Are the characters and worldbuilding weak? Is the setting too vague? These are questions I can't answer for myself, because I'm a poor judge of my own work.

Content Advisory: contains some mildly crude language and attempted toilet humor.

This is the entire story. It's about 4600 words. TIA for any and all comments!