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Topics - Frog

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Reading Excuses / Nov 9 - Recovering Cynic - Oathbound - Chp 1 Rewrite
« on: November 09, 2009, 05:44:56 AM »
Starting this for Cynic since I am so unbelievably speedy... :)

Okay, are you sitting down? Good. Here it goes. I like it. I actually did. Here is some questions for you though.

Who is this guy? Are you redoing your MC? If so, cool, but it does make me wonder what ever else you will be changing.... I guess I will have to read and find out. You donít need it here, but you will be giving more of his background soon, yes? Because that is what I am reading for and expecting from the next chapter at this point.

Some complaints: I think you may have some more unnamed people (with the soldiers and the guard and the knight and everything else) then is feasible and your description goes a bit long at the beginning, making it harder to get into even if it was worth it by the end. Another minor gripe is that in all the guy's speach making, you never have anyone explain the exact logistical and practical reasons for their exile where as I would think this would be the perfect opportunity and avoid some of the confusion for a new reader. Also, the middle scene was a bit abrupt the way you ended it. It could easily be extended a bit and bring out more of the character of both parties.

Iím sending you my line edits, so I think that is about it.

Good luck. :)

Reading Excuses / Nov. 9 - Frog - DR - Chp 1&6 Rewrite
« on: November 09, 2009, 12:20:19 AM »
Voice all complaints here. Thanks all.

Reading Excuses / Sept 7-Frog-DR-Chp 7&8, Alt 1
« on: September 07, 2009, 05:30:42 PM »
Comments here.

Question on new first chp:
1. Did it hook you/interest you any better or worse than the original first chp (Aishia receiving her prophecy)?
2. Do you think the added background relieves some of the confusion necessarily or just spoils the mystery?
3. If I keep this chp, I could fairly easily combine plot points and get rid of the first Raven chp (Chp 4). Do you want them both, or prefer one to the other?

Yeah, basically, do you like this new chp and want it included in the book?

Reading Excuses / Aug 24-Frog-DR-Chp 4&5
« on: August 25, 2009, 01:51:22 AM »
Show no mercy, take no prisoners and all of that jazz.

Reading Excuses / Aug 10-Frog-DR-Chp 2&3
« on: August 11, 2009, 06:37:09 AM »
Comments here. I'm still worried about pacing (too fast, too slow) so please tell me what you think. I think I am introducing most of the MCs with this bit too, so be sure to give me your impressions. And yeah, everything else you see.  ;D

Thank you!

Reading Excuses / July 27 Frog DR Chp1
« on: July 27, 2009, 05:36:36 AM »
Comments, questions, concerns and death threats taken here.

Thank you!

Reading Excuses / July 20-Frog-DR Prologue
« on: July 20, 2009, 10:11:29 PM »
Place all comments here and please feel free to be picky. I can take it. :P

Thank you!

Reading Excuses / What kind of Critiquer are you?
« on: May 26, 2009, 02:10:46 AM »
It's rather quiet on here today, so I thought I'd throw this up because I found it interesting:

I've think I've been (and seen) all of these before.  :-[
Aw, well....

Reading Excuses / Mar 2 - Queen'sOpal - Part 5
« on: March 02, 2009, 05:50:17 AM »
Thanks for taking a look you guys. I see action sequences as a real weakness of mine, so any suggestions you have there would be greatly appreciated. Rip it up and I promise youíll see some humans whenever I submit next. :D.

Writing Group / Get rid of all the elves?
« on: January 29, 2009, 10:19:06 PM »
Okay, I kinda got here on a less traditional way. My friend pulled me into Reading Excuses and itís been so much fun (you guys rock!) that I have recently been exploring other parts of the site and finally found the Writing Excuses Podcasts. For the most part, I have loved the advice they had on there and found it very helpful, but I had enough opinions on his most recent stream I thought it might make a semi interesting discussion.

If you didnít listen to it or need a refresher, along with some really good advice on building non human characters, he talked about removing the Tolkien and non original races, most specifically elves, and I have to say if he ever succeeds in doing so, I might never forgive him.

I love reading about nonhuman races; traditional, clichť or whatever else. There are so many fun creatures floating around in Tolkien (who got his races from other sources and twisted them around too), DnD and mythology that all need their own stories by any author that can give them life and do them justice. Certainly you donít want some 2 dimensional clichť thrown in just because, but you can say that about any character, elf or no. In fact, I am personally am getting tired of writers (not Sanderson, but some others) throwing in 2 dimensional clichť people but he didnít say Ďget rid of all the humans and stop copying Godí and he never will because readers need some familiarity for the whole emotional connection that is so important in fiction.

I am a big believer in the concept of Ďitís not what you do but it is how you do it,í so go ahead and take something that you love and find a way to make it your own- whether it be elves, dwarves, goblins, dragons or hobbits- and as long as you leave the dice out of it, I will enjoy reading it for many years to come.

On another related note, though I love fantasy I tend to get annoyed when writers start throwing in a ton of new creatures/terms. Some for variety and to set the stage of your new world, yes, but not a WHOLE lot. It gets confusing and it looks a bit like they are showing off just because they can. If it is a twist on an elf or a fancy new sword, call it an elf/sword and you can qualify it later, but at least I have that initial picture in my mind instead of one big headache. I would hope that most readers are open minded enough to allow for this because there is such thing as being too original after all.

At least those are my thoughts, what about you?

Oh, and just to clarify once again, I love the advice on the podcasts and what I have read of Brandon Sanderson (Havenít gotten past the first Mistborn yet, but I will!) so please donít think Iím a hater, just looking for some interesting discussion.

Reading Excuses / Jan 19 - Queen'sOpal - Part 4
« on: January 19, 2009, 08:50:13 PM »
Sorry, I was a bit distracted when sending this out, so let me know if you didn't get it. Thanks guys!

Reading Excuses / Jan 5 - Queen'sOpal - Part 3
« on: January 05, 2009, 08:52:42 AM »
Here we go again with part three.
Along with your regularly scheduled ripping and clawing, I would like some input on the Cindle scenes (chp 3 and beginning of chp 5). Do they flow well enough/interest you enough to keep, or are they just redundant?
Thanks guys!

Reading Excuses / Dec 29 - Queen'sOpal - Part 2
« on: December 29, 2008, 09:00:05 AM »
I think I said all I needed to in the email, so just direct all your fiery darts this way! You know you want toÖ ;)

Reading Excuses / Dec 15 - Queen'sOpal - Part 1
« on: December 15, 2008, 12:24:39 PM »
Okay here we go. Like I said in the email, my submission ran a bit long, but I really wanted to get to the first chapter because I think it probably needs more work than the prologue, so feel free to only critique that part of it. And if you have time to read them both, then I'll love you even move. Thank you!

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