Timewaster's Guide Archive

Local Authors => Dan Wells => Topic started by: mtbikemom on August 18, 2011, 09:54:47 PM

Title: Comments, typos and errata
Post by: mtbikemom on August 18, 2011, 09:54:47 PM
   This is for I Am Not a Serial Killer,  but maybe others can add posts from the other two.

   I only take notes when I read certain books that I care enough about.  Dan is a very good writer, better than I'll probably ever be, but I do notice things and get bugged by things sometimes.  If I'm wrong, I learn, but it is at least really fun interacting with good writers like this, and their faithful readers!

   I'll start with the good, encouraging stuff:

p. 60.11  "a visual sigh"  nice

98.8  beautiful description here, especially "drill-bit tornadoes"

138.4 <chuckle>

182.4 Typical guy, doesn't mention salad as a part of the meal even worth mentioning.  Now if there had been bacon in it, different story.

   Typos: Here's hoping you need these for a second printing!

27.4  I'm like you're only . . . (your)

58.6  from the porch, "she sent . . .  (She)

60.8  said the reporter, "do . . .  (Do)

71.3  the piling up (of) the organs

75.3  Here's one of several places where I think there should be a new sentence after the attribution.  Instead of ". . . Iraq," said Max, "it's as . . .  I think it should read  . . . Max. "It's . . .

76.2  It was against my rules now (This sounds goofy, like one of the tenses is wrong, but I can't really figure out how to fix it.)

81.4  same thing as 75.3

83.1  human in origin (period or semi-colon here?) but that, unfortunately . . .

92.1  crept slowly past headed east  (heading?)

100.4  same thing as 75.3

132.2  If two policeman (men)

133.3  Did I even have (a) choice?

173.7  "Why would I be after Brooke."  (needs question mark)

195.7  So it's (a) question of risk

263.2  if I knew where Mr. Crowley was, and (I) told them

(That's not bad, compared to Mr. Sanderson . . . .)


   Errata

I don't usually spot these things at all, but when John calls Mr. Crowley from the pay phone (p. 187), how does he know the cell number by heart?  There was another similar error, I think, somewhere during the frantic climax, but I didn't write it down.  It was another instance of John knowing which number to call that didn't seem plausible to me, I think having to do with Mrs. Crowley's phone.  Or maybe his psychiatrist.  Why did I think I would remember this?

Overall impression of style and punctuation: Terrific!  Lovely, precise, gripping and crisp without being dry.  Very interesting take on a moral sociopath; very insightful, I think.  I did make a note about an overuse of M-dashes near the middle of the book, which seemed a bit sloppy, but then that problem eventually resolved, gradually, and I don't think I've read an author with better use of colons and semi-colons, with just the right amount of ellipses and M-dashes for my taste toward the end. 

Can't wait to get my hands on the next two!