Timewaster's Guide Archive

Departments => Movies and TV => Topic started by: CthulhuKefka on November 07, 2008, 08:19:07 AM

Title: Worst Movie?
Post by: CthulhuKefka on November 07, 2008, 08:19:07 AM
Let's hear it. What is the worst movie ever made? I'm not talking about the one you didn't like the most, but literally the worst movie. Worst dialogue, worst editing, worst acting., etc. etc.

My pick is "Manos," The Hands of Fate.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Comfortable Madness on November 07, 2008, 02:29:39 PM
A bunch of friends and I used to get together and watch shoddy B horror movies and there are two that stand out as the absolute WORST movies ever made. Those two are House of the Dead and Terror Toons. Man those were so bad....
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on November 07, 2008, 02:49:38 PM
Robot Jox. Hands down. Followed closely by Arena, by the same company
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Comfortable Madness on November 07, 2008, 03:08:33 PM
Awww come on....What's not to like about the idea of countries building one giant robot to battle and decide all disputes.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Loud_G on November 07, 2008, 03:26:35 PM
Mulefeathers. This is the live action story of a talking mule voiced by Don Knots. It is terrible.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Comfortable Madness on November 07, 2008, 04:15:56 PM
Speaking of bad movies....I just read that Van Damme AND Lundgren have signed on to do Universal Soldier 3! Now that's exciting! Don't get me wrong I was 10 when the first one came out and rather enjoyed it but then again I was 10 so....wow!
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: CthulhuKefka on November 07, 2008, 06:18:33 PM
Mulefeathers. This is the live action story of a talking mule voiced by Don Knots. It is terrible.

That does sound pretty terrible.  :D

And come on, how can you watch THIS and not be struck by its utter failure to even remotely be comprehensible?!  ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKNTaWElUgA
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: The Jade Knight on November 09, 2008, 02:13:49 PM
I actually liked Robot Jox.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: MrPaperCamel on November 09, 2008, 04:09:13 PM
Instead of a movie could I just nominate Michael Bay?
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: CthulhuKefka on November 09, 2008, 06:03:47 PM
Instead of a movie could I just nominate Michael Bay?

I thought The Rock was a pretty decent movie.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: zchance on November 09, 2008, 08:19:06 PM
While no doubt Manos, Hand of Fate was a terrible movie, it was never intended to be a big hit. What about movies you went to see because you believed it might be good? I'd like to nominate The Avengers, which was one of the worst movies I've ever paid for. It suffered from an Incomprehensible plot, random editing, rotten acting, and possibly the silliest ending I've ever seen.

I learned my lesson from The Avengers so when I went to see Van Helsing I was smart enough to get my money back. Once it was revealed that vampires laid giant gelatinous glowing green eggs that could only be fertlized in some sort of unholy menage a trois by Frankenstein's monster and a werewolf, I got the hell out!  >:(

Yes in fact I am still a little bitter. I promise you give me $100 million dollars and I can put something together that is no more than half as crappy.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: firstRainbowRose on November 09, 2008, 08:46:55 PM
I think the only movie that I paid money for and didn't like was Pan's Labyrinth.  I didn't mind the idea of the plot, I hated the amount of gore that people seemed to think was nessary.  I really think that movie would have been tons better if it hadn't had as much of that stupid gore.

Of course, it wasn't until after I left that I discovered that it was rated R.  The movie I had planned on going to had left theaters, and everyone told me to watch it because I'd love it.  I did learn my lesson.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: MrPaperCamel on November 09, 2008, 09:47:16 PM
Instead of a movie could I just nominate Michael Bay?

I thought The Rock was a pretty decent movie.

Sean Connery can save quite a few things singlehandedly.

And as far as things I have paid to see that I really wish I hadn't. Max Payne is the recent one. Had so many good memories with the video game and then whatever that was came out....
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: CthulhuKefka on November 10, 2008, 05:02:39 AM
Instead of a movie could I just nominate Michael Bay?

I thought The Rock was a pretty decent movie.

Sean Connery can save quite a few things singlehandedly.

And as far as things I have paid to see that I really wish I hadn't. Max Payne is the recent one. Had so many good memories with the video game and then whatever that was came out....


To be fair, in The Rock, both Ed Harris and Michael Beihn were phenomenal.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: The Jade Knight on November 10, 2008, 10:39:39 AM
I found the Avengers disappointing, too; it is possibly the worst somewhat recent Connery film I've seen.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: MrPaperCamel on November 10, 2008, 02:35:57 PM
I never saw the new Avengers film so I cannot testify to whatever it may or may not have done. But I will believe that it was horrible since I have yet to be okay with any of those kinds of remakes.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Comfortable Madness on November 10, 2008, 02:54:14 PM
I think the only movie that I paid money for and didn't like was Pan's Labyrinth.  I didn't mind the idea of the plot, I hated the amount of gore that people seemed to think was nessary.  I really think that movie would have been tons better if it hadn't had as much of that stupid gore.

Of course, it wasn't until after I left that I discovered that it was rated R.  The movie I had planned on going to had left theaters, and everyone told me to watch it because I'd love it.  I did learn my lesson.

In my opinion Pan's Labyrinth was easily one of the best films of 2006! Yes there was a lot of gore but it was there to show just how horrible a place Ofelia was living in. Maybe they could have portrayed it in a different way but it definately served a purpose.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shi on November 11, 2008, 08:45:24 AM
I'm going to say The Happening. It'd probably not the worse movie I've seen, but I did just see it, and it sucked so bad I can't get it out of my mind. Half way through the movie I wondered is Shyamalan was crazy. How could someone sane come up with a plot like that? Or maybe, how could anyone sane dish out the money to make that load of crap.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: CthulhuKefka on November 11, 2008, 10:10:32 AM
I think the only movie that I paid money for and didn't like was Pan's Labyrinth.  I didn't mind the idea of the plot, I hated the amount of gore that people seemed to think was nessary.  I really think that movie would have been tons better if it hadn't had as much of that stupid gore.

Of course, it wasn't until after I left that I discovered that it was rated R.  The movie I had planned on going to had left theaters, and everyone told me to watch it because I'd love it.  I did learn my lesson.

In my opinion Pan's Labyrinth was easily one of the best films of 2006! Yes there was a lot of gore but it was there to show just how horrible a place Ofelia was living in. Maybe they could have portrayed it in a different way but it definately served a purpose.

Whatever people say about Guillermo del Toro, I think most people can agree that the man is one of the best Visual directors out there.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: darxbane on November 12, 2008, 03:12:53 PM
The worst movie ever is Plan 9 from Outer Space.  Period.  The movie Ed Wood does not do just to just how bad this movie is.

The worst movie made in my lifetime is probably Leonard part 6.  This movie had deadly Maine Lobsters attack Bill Cosby.  Anyone want to guess what he used to stop them?  Give Up?  Melted Butter!  That's right.  Just in case you were wondering, there is no Leonard 1-5.  According to the movie, they were classified top secret and are unable to be shown to the public.  They should have done the same with part 6. 
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: CthulhuKefka on November 12, 2008, 09:20:41 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFY7w7gRF-w&feature=related

COME ON! You can't honestly say this is better than Plan 9.  :D
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Spriggan on November 12, 2008, 10:45:14 PM
Oh man I love Lenard Part 6.

In my mind a horrible movie is something that's so bad that you can't even watch it to make fun of it, which is why I think so many bad movies are horrible.

The most recent Bad movie I've seen, hard for me to say that anything is the "Worst", is Peter Jacksons King Kong.  Before that is was Pearl Harbor.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Loud_G on November 12, 2008, 10:50:34 PM
Really?? I skipped King Kong in theatres because I thought it looked stupid.

But then I got curious and rented it one day last year. I really enjoyed it. I thought it was very well done.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Spriggan on November 13, 2008, 07:22:09 AM
Yep.  In fact when I saw it people were walking out of the theater.  I know i'm in the minorty here at TWG, but Kong could have been a great movie but hit the pitfall of no one being able to say no to Peter Jackson.

The biggest problem is the movie's too long, no one kept the director's ego in check and told him that they should have gotten to the island faster and they where there too long.  The only part that didn't bore me was right when they got to the island and the whole end part with Kong in the city.

Pearl Harbor was the same, could have been a decent movie if they would have cut out the 30+ minutes up to the actual action--the love story was insipid and was drawn out for no reason.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: firstRainbowRose on November 13, 2008, 07:23:51 AM
Sprig, what was the exact name of the movie you were talking about at the rifftrax party?  The one with the super yo-yo chick?  I've been trying to remember so I can watch it.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Spriggan on November 13, 2008, 07:31:44 AM
I can't mention it's name since it is no way the worst movie every made, it is in fact the most awesome movie ever and it would be an insult to even type it's name in this thread.

However I'll give you a hint, the title is three words long and two of them are Girl and Cop, I'll leave it to you to guess the first word (hint: it's what she fights with)
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: firstRainbowRose on November 13, 2008, 07:32:51 AM
Thank you very much.  :D
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Dangerbutton on November 13, 2008, 07:33:40 AM
I saw The Avengers when I was about 10, and I liked it then. However, thinking back to it, I think I would find it quite lame at this point.

I'd say that one I was most disappointed in would have to be Reign of Fire. I had much higher expectations for that one. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within was a big disappointment as well. I'm surprised I stayed awake through Nacho Libre.

I'm not going to say that Star Wars Episodes 1 through 3 were bad, but, man, Hayden Christiansen was terrible.

Also, I'm surprised nobody has brought up Troll 2. Come on, bologna sandwiches?
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: The Jade Knight on November 13, 2008, 09:38:50 AM
I really enjoyed Final Fantasy:Spirits Within.  But then, the only FF game I had played much was the original.  I hear that it's the fans of the games that liked the film least.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: CthulhuKefka on November 13, 2008, 09:40:32 AM
I saw The Avengers when I was about 10, and I liked it then. However, thinking back to it, I think I would find it quite lame at this point.

I'd say that one I was most disappointed in would have to be Reign of Fire. I had much higher expectations for that one. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within was a big disappointment as well. I'm surprised I stayed awake through Nacho Libre.

I'm not going to say that Star Wars Episodes 1 through 3 were bad, but, man, Hayden Christiansen was terrible.

Also, I'm surprised nobody has brought up Troll 2. Come on, bologna sandwiches?

Troll 2 goodness:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyophYBP_w4

FF: The Spirits Within wasn't terrible, but it wasn't excellent either. Advent Children was MUCH better, IMHO.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: The Jade Knight on November 13, 2008, 01:57:04 PM
I didn't care for Advent Children at all, actually.  I don't think I've ever found a high-quality non-stop action flick so boring, to be honest.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: MrPaperCamel on November 13, 2008, 06:44:49 PM
There was a a redeeming part in Troll 2. When the kid pees on all the food. It was redeeming only because I took the food to be a metaphor for the script ;).

Advent Children could have been better, but wasn't really that bad. Cloud just seemed so whiny, and it felt like they were just inventing weird story arcs.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on November 14, 2008, 05:43:17 AM
Eric Snider has written a review of Gymkata entitled "A mulleted Olympic gymnast battles ninjas using the awesome power of gymnastics. Also, there is a falcon."

http://www.film.com/movies/story/erics-bad-movies-gymkata-1985/24261389
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Spriggan on November 15, 2008, 07:06:59 AM
I didn't care for Advent Children at all, actually.  I don't think I've ever found a high-quality non-stop action flick so boring, to be honest.

I somewhat agree with Jade, while I didn't find Advent Children boring it was incredibly disappointing because of the story and outside of the Church fight and the motorcycle one the combat wasn't that interesting. I didn't care who one because of the weak--and rather poorly done--bad guys.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: darxbane on November 18, 2008, 10:26:06 PM
Quelish!   OK, by Spriggan's adjusted criteria, I would say the worst movie ever is The Blair Witch Project.  Oh sure, you can make fun of it now, but when it came out it was all "you have to see this!  It's a true story!"  and all this other crap.  Biggest con job ever.  I mean really, does anyone here know someone who is afraid of windchimes?

I liked King Kong and Pearl Harbor, but I agree with your negative points.  That insect scene was just and excuse for Jackson to show off his FX studio.  I can't hate a movie with Kate Beckinsale or Naomi Watts in it (and that's saying a lot.  The Ring 2 anyone?).  If they are ever in a movie together I may watch it weekly.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: CthulhuKefka on November 21, 2008, 09:11:38 AM
Quelish!   OK, by Spriggan's adjusted criteria, I would say the worst movie ever is The Blair Witch Project.  Oh sure, you can make fun of it now, but when it came out it was all "you have to see this!  It's a true story!"  and all this other crap.  Biggest con job ever. 

 ;D That was the whole point of it. It was really early viral marketing. I for one actually liked the Blair Witch movie. /shrug to each their own.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: MrPaperCamel on November 21, 2008, 03:01:08 PM
Curse you bane for reminding me of Leonard Part 6!
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shaggy on January 06, 2009, 01:57:06 AM
I thought Little Man was a pretty bad movie. Not the worst I've seen. Just bad.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Bastille on March 04, 2009, 01:55:10 AM
Worst movie I ever saw was probably...hm. I don't think I've watched enough movies to have a worst one. I cant really watch the movies you guy watch because of really younger siblings but out of what I HAVE watched its probably Shark Boy and Lava Girl. That was the worst movie ever created. (no offense to anybody who liked it.)

Bastille
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shaggy on March 04, 2009, 01:56:39 AM
Yeah that was just HORRIBLE. And I didn't even see the whole thing!!!
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Bastille on March 04, 2009, 02:03:25 AM
It was retarded. I don't even see why they made the movie. You can tell it's all really bad special effects.

Bastille
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shaggy on March 04, 2009, 02:04:45 AM
And the acting…*GAG.*
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Bastille on March 04, 2009, 02:11:53 AM
The whole movie is like **shoot me**

Bastille
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shaggy on March 04, 2009, 02:34:06 AM
Haha yeah. As soon as I saw what the people looked like, I was like '*GROAN.*'
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Bastille on March 04, 2009, 02:44:29 AM
The whole way to put it is teh movie was a piece of crap.

Bastille
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shaggy on March 04, 2009, 09:40:43 PM
I couldn't have said it better myself.  ;) ;)
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Bastille on March 05, 2009, 02:41:20 AM
Awesome! I should become a movie editor person...thing.

Bastille
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shaggy on March 05, 2009, 03:00:48 AM
You should. And then you enter a cycle like *mine* and say good/bad to every other movie you review.  :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Bastille on March 05, 2009, 03:05:06 AM
How much do you want to bet I would make millions of dollars by just saying  that a certain movie sucked.

Bastille
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shaggy on March 05, 2009, 03:07:11 AM
Well…to do that you would have to first build up your reputation…which would require actually giving honest reviews to some movies…which would require actual work…so…let's say $500,000. For starters.  ;)
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Bastille on March 05, 2009, 03:10:34 AM
For starters!!!  :D Then I take over the movie producers and make them turn Mistborn into a movie!!!

Bastille
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Miyabi on March 05, 2009, 06:49:25 AM
Super Bad.


Pointless and dumb.
Title: Re: Worst Movie?
Post by: Shaggy on March 07, 2009, 08:02:02 PM
Agreed.