Timewaster's Guide Archive
Local Authors => Matthew Buckley => Topic started by: Firemeboy on February 28, 2005, 05:38:13 PM
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I'm pretty new here, and only know a few of you. I have a book coming out in June and I just found out what the title is going to be (the publishers rejected my original suggestion).
I guess the committee put my title in their market research, but it didn't score well. So, what title do you prefer?
Chickens in the Headlights
Chickens Don't Have Armpits
Of course if you pick theirs, I'll have to slink out of here with my tail between my legs... :)
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I'm going to guess that they rejected Chickens Don't Have Armpits, because it contains the word 'armpit', which is the type of word they'd reject. Also, it's a better title, so it's right out.
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I would buy a book entitled Chickens Don't Have Armpits long before I would buy a book entitled "Chickens in the Headlights"
Chickens in the headlights just sounds pitiful and sad. Poor chickens.
Now if it's the right kind of book and the picture on the cover was of a gaggle of chickens in a farmyard on a moonless night, staring fixedly into the camera/headlights, perhaps with some glowing chicken eyes not directly in the beam...I'd buy that one too. But that's just me.
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Now if it's the right kind of book and the picture on the cover was of a gaggle of chickens in a farmyard on a moonless night, staring fixedly into the camera/headlights, perhaps with some glowing chicken eyes not directly in the beam...I'd buy that one too.
Why do I think that's not going to happen?
The cover will probably be a cute chicken with puppy dog eyes, pecking at the ground with a butterfly on his back.
Readers will have to open the book to see that one of the chapter titles is "Day of Slaughter".
Though now that I think of it, that may get cut too.
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Chicken in the Headlights is a little too droll--a little too "ha ha, get it?" So if that's yours, I apologize for mocking it.
Chickens Don't Have Armpits sounds like a book of mildly humorous homespun wisdom. I wouldn't buy either one based on the title, but I'm so far outside your target market I can't even see it from here. So ignore what I say.
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Kind of what Fell said - Again I say (because I had to say this to HoM before) - what kind of book is it, and what's it about?
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It's fiction. It's a humorous look at a family with 7 boys, and their adventures one summer.
The purpose of the title, since nobody is going to know my name, is to at least try to get somebody to stop and take a second look. Or maybe pick it up. The title is actually used by a character in my book, though it’s not prominent. I was aiming for something that people would walk by, stop, and return just to make sure they hadn't misread.
I’m not really sold on the title they picked, but don’t think I have any options, other than throw an unproductive fit.
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From what you and HoM are saying about working with Covenant it seems like they need some serious help in the editor/marketer/business department. All the decisions you two have described sound like they were made by MTC teachers in commitee. Is it really that bad or are we just hearing the horror stories?
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I don't mean to paint them in that way. In fact I wrote to one of the people on the committee and they seemed open about looking at alternatives...
We will see. There might be a better name for it, who knows. I just don't know if I like the one they proposed... Maybe it will grow on me.
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Too bad The Hoboken Chicken Emergency is already taken. As is The Chicken Heart. (guh-gung. guh-gung.)
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Daniel Pinkwater rules!!
And I believe chickens' wingpits count as armpits.
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a family with 7 boys.
That would be my family if you count my brother-in-law. Or that sixth brother I had that no one found out about.
I agree that neither title really grabs me. Can't they change the word "chicken" instead?
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Welcome to the forums, FMB! It's nice to have another professional author around to tip our odds against those dastardly editors. (We're tied up now, right? HoM, me, and FMB vs Stacer, Brenna, and Ookla. Poor 42, sitting all alone in the artists' corner.)
Anyway, we've all heard enough Covenant stories from HoM to feel your pain. But, at least you've got a book coming out, which is an admirable accomplishment, no matter what they do to your title! Congratulations!
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Poor 42, sitting all alone in the artists' corner.
*comforts 42*
If a complete amateur is any company at all...
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I'd just like to accounce that the shiftless hobo corner - me, JP, Gemm and Spriggan (willing or unwilling as they may be) wins.
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Shiftless hobo corner sounds rather better than "I would be an artist but i suck too much to do it properly" corner. Partic as it's a one-person corner as it is.
Think I might join you there.
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Welcome to the forums, FMB! It's nice to have another professional author around to tip our odds against those dastardly editors. (We're tied up now, right? HoM, me, and FMB vs Stacer, Brenna, and Ookla. Poor 42, sitting all alone in the artists' corner.)
Technically, I'm a professional writer now too. I'm just salaried.
I guess I do all the editing too, so I'm on both sides of that one. I have to edit myself.
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Skar is, as well. Not sure if he also edits himself.
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I do in fact edit myself at work.
Does winning money in a short story contest and having the mag that ran the contest (sunstone) choose to publish the story consitute professional Author?
Because if you have to live on the proceeds of your writing then EUOL is the only one that qualifies...
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I think he's counting professional author as one who writes books, rather than simply writes stuff. Those of us in the corporate world who work as writer/editors are in a separate category (also known as "writers who can actually support a family").
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heh, just our little way of jabbing at EUOL, eh?
So make that a tri-partate war, 3 professional "authors," 3 "corporate writers," and three "editors." With the lone artist off on the side laughing at all of us.
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heheheheheh. Support a family. Good one that.
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Not to mention me. I am laughing at all of you too. ;)
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yeah, but that's because you're a kid archon.
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What does that have to do with it?
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It means we're ALWAYS laughing at you.
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Yeah, but I am laughing at you for something that you are doing, which is much funnier than just laughing at a technicality like age. ;)
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You only say that because you haven't tried it yet. Drop by a preschool and see how stupid younger people are--you'll be laughing in no time.
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Oh, I have tried it. I laugh at freshmen and middle schoolers every day. But I laugh at them because of stupid things that they say or do. And yes, I do realize that I may be leading myself into a trap here, but I decided that I am not reaching for a tissue over it.
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Ah, youth.
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See, that's the thing about being younger: you're always doing somethign worth laughing at. This is why older people laugh.
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And clank goes the trap. Not true. We have a freshmen that sits with us at lunch, and he is pretty cool. And much smarter than many juniors that I know.
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Thanks for the welcome EUOL... Glad to be here...
Yeah, in the book the family has 7 boys, but it's based loosely on my family, that ended up with 10 boys (and a girl). I was the second oldest and didn't have a sister until I was 18. It was a wild, wild, ride. :)
And if my wife ever agrees to move into a Teepee with me, and leave the mortgage, the utility bills, and indoor plumbing behind, I think I could support a family on my writing. Beans, wheat, and rat meat are cheap...
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I think EUOL's point has been in the past that we're currently working as a writer vs. editor, right? Because I technically count as a writer, as well, if you count the magazine I used to work for. I wrote as much as I edited. Just not fiction.
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That would put you in the corporate writer/editor category. Which is the coolest category anyway, if you don't mind being a gear in The Machine.
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ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
/me raises the chant among his ninja monkeys.
And don't think the irony the idea of the guy who obsesses about ninja monkeys and action figures being a corporate cog conformist is lost on me.
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We still win.
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I would just like to forward the notion that Entropy really needs to change back to a more evil class, because they suit him so much better than this one. Not to say that you are dishonorable Entropy, but evil just fits you like a glove. A gauntlet that you could use to smack down out-of-line newbies.
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I no longer do that. I moved onto forum moderator smacking :) It's harder but more rewarding, much like a prestige class.
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If that were true, then you would have to change your sig. Come on, JP is good, but making fun of people is much better with two people. Gorgon and I are perfect examples. Either one of us is good at making fun of people. But when you put us together we have the capacity to have them running away crying in a matter of minutes.
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My sig is a joke based on an arthurian title. :)
Besides, almost all of the people who do the newbie thing are mods now. They sold out, TO THE WEBSITE. This must be punished by random and moderately incoherant statements. In other news, Gemm is really a robot that I purchased from deepest china and gave a rudimentary english to chinese translation program.
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Entropy, that wasn't incoherent. As a matter of fact, that would make a lot more sense than Gemm being a human sometimes. After all, Gemm says stuff that is a lot weirder than "All your base are belong to us" (Yes, I know that was from Japanese).
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Well I was implying that gemms gibberish was merely another tool in my vast selection of... selections.
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Ah yes, that makes sense. Viva La Revolution!
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Well, I had to take out my reference to Mountain Dew, and every last reference to 'poop' (though how you can have a realistic book about pre-teen boys without using the word poop is beyond me), but the book has gone to the typesetter...
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no mountain poop? I refuse to read it!
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I'm saving the mountain poop for when the boys go to scout camp.
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So I've been a bit frustrated by all of the edits that have been going on with my book. I wrote to one of the editors at Covenant (who is just fabulous), and it kind of summed up my opinion. I hope I haven't killed any relations with Covenant in the future. :)
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We should probably have a discussion sometime about this philosophy in general. I'm curious about your viewpoints. I think my book in many ways has become better. Your suggestions about a theme were great; I really think it added to the book.
But I think also my original book had just a bit more edge to it. Not edge in a bad way, but in a good way. It was more real, more true to life. I'm almost afraid it has become too 'squeaky clean'. Not that filthy dirty is a good thing, but I almost think the humor of the book has become more Leave it to Beaverish. It's not quite as funny.
I know it's a bit coarse, but the phrase "we'll have to push your intestines back in with a spatula" is a funny line. Not just the line, but because of the person delivering it, and to whom it is being said. My mom used that line once. We all have used similar lines. Not about intestines and spatulas, but something we said in the heat of the moment. Something we would never say in public, and we hope is never repeated. We are embarrassed by it, but later we can laugh about it. I'm afraid we are missing something if we don't paint the characters as they really are. They look too much like June Cleaver; always in a dress, always playing the housewife. Sure, Beavers' escapades are funny, for a bit, but what would be really funny is if, just once, June lost it. "Dammit Beaver, why can't you be more like Wally!"
That would be funny.
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Anyway...
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Hey, I think you should be safe. That was nice and polite, expressing your opinions and concerns without attacking.
The only thing that bothered me was the "dammit." I mean, can you say that to a Covenant editor, even as a quote? ;)
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Well, considering that Covenant ediors are born into exclusive colonies where they are sheltered by all evil and taught to fight the horrors of bad grammar...I think you may have just killed several of them before they learn to fight off such a vile word. ;D
I think you letter is fairly professional. You're not accusing anyone, just voicing that you don't agree and would like an explanation if one is available. If Covenant's editor's are professional, they will at least send you a letter or email explaining themselves a little. If they are unprofessional, they will complain about your letter, gossip about you, and then just ignore your concerns all together.
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And then you kill them.
Which is the fun part.
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Especially if done right
*Archon smiles evilly*
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Instead of just preaching against bad grammar, those colonies should try actually teaching the principles of good grammar. Covenant would be a whole different place.
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I'm online almost everyday. I stay online for about 10-12 hours everyday. At work, at home, I am always withing seconds of my e-mail.
Expect last Thursday, when the editor from Covenant wrote and told me that the last chapter of my book doesn't have a title, but they will fix it if I can just get them the change by the end of the day.
I checked in at 9:00 that night, and discovered that the last chapter just won't have a title. So the first edition has an 'error' which makes it worth even more than a boring 'fixed' edition. The good news is that the managing editor seems to think they will run another edition. She says humor sells well, and they think this book has a shot at another printing.
So make sure and get your first edition copy when it comes out in June, it will be worth 10s of dimes some day.
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Did they reject the chapter title you'd given it? Or did everybody just miss that detail before? You'd think the typesetters would point it out.
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They just missed it. And I never saw the final copy because the final chapter was part of the stuff that didn't make it in until the last minute. That chapter wasn't in the copy they likely sent you to review.
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Covenant just posted the cover anda blurb to their site. Looks like this is what the cover will look like.
http://www.covenant-lds.com/osb2/itemdetails.cfm?ID=1645
I think I kind of like it.
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heh. Funny chickens. You going to be signing books for TWGers too?
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I like that cover quite a bit. Very eye-catching. And I like the line across the top.
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That cover's sold me. When is it being released? I'll buy one.
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You going to be signing books for TWGers too?
Certainly... I think the book comes out the first few days of June. At least that is what they tell me.
Yeah, I like the line across the top too. That was something they came up with. I didn't even realize the cover was done, but happened to come across it on their website. It's a bit cartoony, but then I guess when the book is about a group of brothers who own a dog named 'Farding', you can't exactly expect gold-leafed/leather bound.
:)
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That's a great cover.