Timewaster's Guide Archive

General => Rants and Stuff => Topic started by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on December 31, 2003, 12:43:19 PM

Title: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on December 31, 2003, 12:43:19 PM
not really a rant. But I just got a spam with the subject "sup" from "someone" "named" "Basil Winthrop."

Now, to over analyze, they're trying to fool me into thinking this is a mail from a guy I know or used to know.

But WTF knows anyone named "Basil"? Wouldn't something like "Tom" or "Bob" work better?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Eagle Prince on December 31, 2003, 12:50:40 PM
Lol, I have thought on that same thing several times myself.  One that comes to mind is "Oona" which is a name I've only seen in the Elric books.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Tage on December 31, 2003, 12:52:06 PM
I wish I knew someone named Basil. I mean, what a cool name. I'd feel more sophisticated if I knew someone named Basil, even if he wasn't British. So I'd probably read the email just to see if it was from a Basil that I knew once and forgot about.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: House of Mustard on December 31, 2003, 12:56:36 PM
If you did actually know someone named Basil, do you think he would actually say "sup?"  
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on December 31, 2003, 12:57:06 PM
no, it would not. it would just make you gay.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Tage on December 31, 2003, 12:59:09 PM
It would be part of his sophisticated British humour. He'd be mocking our American slang and sublimely hinting at how much better he is because he knows "real" English, and all with one word.

Man, this Basil guy sure is cool.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Eagle Prince on December 31, 2003, 01:00:09 PM
rofl, Basil's the man.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: House of Mustard on December 31, 2003, 01:03:09 PM
Yeah SE - can you give us Basil's email so we can write him?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on December 31, 2003, 01:10:09 PM
edit: er.. .that wasn't very funny was it. I blame society. Also, basil has been telling me what to do.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Eagle Prince on December 31, 2003, 01:44:24 PM
Heh, poor Tage.  I think you should blame Basil, that no-good spammer.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Entsuropi on December 31, 2003, 11:15:41 PM
That is a good point. I don't know anyone named Basil, although we sell it at the supermarket i work at. Does that count? I mean, its not a human, or even a mammal, which is kind of a crimp on the whole knowing it aspect - people who claim to know plants are generally a few spliffs short of a withdrawal - but i mean, its got the right name, just not the right species It may even be basil grown here. I may have to ask around my english friends, see if they know anyone named after a herb.

There was the main character of fawlty towers though, who was called Basil. Boy, he was a funny guy.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Eagle Prince on December 31, 2003, 11:21:26 PM
Forget TV, Basil has his own movie.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118686/
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 01, 2004, 08:47:18 AM
he was also a character in The Great Mouse Detective

But that doesn't make him REAL.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 01, 2004, 10:38:07 AM
and a Basil Fawlty.
Here Basil, come here.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on January 02, 2004, 12:20:29 AM
Ok, I need help. Windows windows' aren't to my liking. Scrolling is a very slow process, and it seems like they shouldn't take so long to go from top to bottom. Just one smooth motion to do that. Not 10-20 different strokes of the mouse wheel to get there. Bags. Anyone know of an answer?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Eagle Prince on January 02, 2004, 04:50:10 AM
That's what the scroll bar is for, or if you're really lazy a mouse with a scroll button.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 02, 2004, 07:57:33 AM
Gemm, you are truly a freak.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on January 02, 2004, 11:06:29 PM
But I do know someone named Basil.  He's from Salt Lake, and goes to TLE.  At least he used to- he got married a month or so ago and understandably hasn't been around as much.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 02, 2004, 11:37:41 PM
This would be a FANTASY magazine... hrm...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 02, 2004, 11:43:10 PM
Tell Basil to stop spamming people.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Brenna on January 05, 2004, 07:28:21 PM
Basil's planning to come back to TLE soon. He was going to take the rest of last semester off and then come again this semester.  
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on January 06, 2004, 01:54:11 PM
Which is more than fair, considering his wife is not a sci-fi/fantasy person.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 04:31:07 PM
I have to say it because of the title and because I havent seen it in years.

SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMMITYSPAMSPAMMITYSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMMITYSPAMSPAMMITYSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 06, 2004, 04:38:14 PM
and we're accusing BASIL of spamming us?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 04:40:52 PM
Is Siberian hama, hama hamster!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 06, 2004, 05:15:01 PM
Yes, my point exactly. I now rename you Gemm mark II.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 05:49:45 PM
thats not even funny! Considering that my jokes make sense.
Seriously though its been forever since I've seen the spam thing on a board. Before today when was the last time you saw it?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 06, 2004, 06:28:04 PM
i think you've missed my point. my point is that YOU'RE spamming. one more question. who WANTED to see it?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 06:30:59 PM
thats actually not really considered spamming anymore
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: House of Mustard on January 06, 2004, 07:44:40 PM
Looks like spam to me.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 07:48:35 PM
At least it doesn't claim to enlarge someones genitals or offer up showgirl sluts on moterbikes.
Sad but the above is what spam used to be. Just annoying. Not offensive.
Sadder still millions of people don't know that the above is why that annoying email in their box is called spam.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 06, 2004, 09:16:59 PM
it's not all that sad. I actually am much less annoyed by people trying to make a buck. at least they have a purpose for putting it there other than to just piss me off.

And yes, it is still considered spamming.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 09:28:55 PM
Are you really pissed off now?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on January 06, 2004, 09:37:54 PM
You can't really remake spam. Even if you try to drench it in grease and wine, that taste will forever remain. And now since I've lost my thought on this, I leave.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 09:39:16 PM
ahem!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on January 06, 2004, 09:42:17 PM
You mean "Amen."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 09:58:02 PM
no I meant Ahem! as in the clearing my throat sound I like to make when I point out that you are much less lucid than I.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on January 06, 2004, 10:04:33 PM
Lucid, mmmm, sounds like bile.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 10:08:45 PM
ahem!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on January 06, 2004, 10:23:22 PM
You mean "Amen."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on January 06, 2004, 10:39:20 PM
Is there an ignore button Tage, Fell or Sprig?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on January 06, 2004, 11:14:12 PM
Oh c'mon, you know you love it. =P
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Tage on January 07, 2004, 12:56:44 PM
Yes. It's called "don't check this thread."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on January 07, 2004, 09:47:45 PM
Quote
Oh c'mon, you know you love it. =P


Yes, if by "love it" you mean "are driven to homicidal levels of hatred."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 10, 2004, 10:09:21 AM
have any of you seen these spams that are full of random word strings? something like
Quote
warble clam congestive beatify connotation moth distort brood demerit archaic longish hugging obsidian equable grandmother strangle parry doorkeep alligator boathouse depredate frankfurt supine
edna sidestep balzac dalton kazoo pepsico chamber pinehurst christoph arnold repeal synergistic waxwork hoof thermo carport cherish larceny diagnosable scoundrel walsh guilford poetic bifocal chain acclaim curfew icicle helene reedbuck dillon moresby perplex giddap paine flashback grove privet

THe subjects are like that too. I have no idea what they're trying to accomplish unless this somehow spoofs spam filters.

At any rate, I got one today with a pretty cool subject line:
"Some inexplicable loathing"
Weird.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on January 11, 2004, 06:18:52 AM
Heard of Bayesian Filtering. It owns. www.Paulgraham.com has more info. Basically, the random words are trying (and failing very hard) to get past these new filters.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 11, 2004, 11:19:02 AM
ah, well, that makes sense. It was the only reason I could think of for it. I think I'd like to keep them coming. the subject lines are interesting sometimes.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on January 12, 2004, 07:26:13 AM
Recent Spam titles which I didn't open, and my comments.

What if he saw a red present that was bending an insect?

A scientific method to bring inanimate objects to life (Which I'd like to both market, and have installed in every political office) developed in Japan, hence the origami

The Chicken was Gigantic

GM Modified Food advertisment?

Hey Baby want to let me start eating food with your arm?

Apparantly they don't make forks in Nigeria

I love you from the bottom of my fuzzy chick

Chicks, like all immature animals, poop. I don't want to have anything to do with the bottom of a fuzzy chick.

The Job am coloring the helpful skater. We better go on the coffee mug.

Sounds like a puzzle from a Lucasarts point and click adventure to me (Grim Fandango is full of that sort of ridiculous stuff)

Neitzche was not spinning your slippery plate.

Good to hear. Darn philosophers spinnign just anyone's unwashed dishes.

Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on January 12, 2004, 12:02:00 PM
You get much more interesting spam than I do.

My favorite was still: Attract men with bigger breasts!

But. . . I don't LIKE men with bigger breasts....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 12, 2004, 12:06:03 PM
you're just prejudiced against grossly overweight men.

Today I got a brick
Which was kinda cool for various reasons
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mistress of Darkness on January 12, 2004, 01:49:33 PM
What's the point of these random text strings? Are they trying to advertise something?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 12, 2004, 01:55:50 PM
yeah, a picture or HTML ad comes with it.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on January 13, 2004, 07:15:53 AM
All of the ones I mentioned were ads for Homosexual Pornography. Odd, seeing as I am neither Homosexual, nor do I remember telling any Pornographers to e-mail me.  My Twin Brother I've never heard of must be causing trouble again....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 13, 2004, 03:08:06 PM
today's favorites:
The Two Quarelling Mathematicians
friable viennese sod esctacy (i almost want to ask about that one)
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 15, 2004, 09:11:26 AM
Remember when New Year's Resolutions were about losing pounds and inches? Apparently, with the new augmentation spams, that's change. I was just invited to add 2-4" for the new year.

Here's this morning's favorite random spam subject:
Sacrilige Editor Incorporated
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on January 15, 2004, 11:20:00 PM
  Legal Technique = You Happy  

There's mine for now.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 15, 2004, 11:29:20 PM
are they sure they're talking about LEGAL techniques?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on January 16, 2004, 01:03:05 AM
Well, they get credit for making me laugh at least.

 RE: Hoooo00000000000 brf wmuuz  
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on January 16, 2004, 01:36:33 AM
I don't get it.

But then, it's probably a good thing that I don't get it. Don't explain it to me if it's something my innocent ears shouldn't hear.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on January 16, 2004, 02:07:20 AM
No, Stacer, I'm pretty sure it's just nonsense which also happens to sound like someone yelling or going crazy or both.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on January 18, 2004, 09:49:04 PM
Newest spam title: young had therefore given themselves wholly to that deep admiration which

Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 21, 2004, 09:15:06 AM
Courageous Infect Rub
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 26, 2004, 09:48:09 AM
I'm jsut really glad that Mohammed Sumner managed to send me my weekly report today.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on January 31, 2004, 09:26:09 PM
gruesome inconsolable boogie laurent chuck
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on January 31, 2004, 09:26:56 PM
that's... interesting....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 01, 2004, 01:28:17 PM
You know, one thing that hasn't been covered here is the excellent names they make up to send you spam under.  So here is a list of all the "people" who sent me spam today.  (yes, I get a lot of junk mail)

Constance Fuentes
Rudolph Fair
Ed York
Susie Carrillo
Quinn Hayes
Emery Jeffers  
Eloise Quintero  
Pansy Ash
Figging O. Ruben  
Lupe Wall
Tracey Doss  
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 01, 2004, 01:53:55 PM
Wow.  That's a lot of junk mail...

I find it really annoying when I have to look through thirty or so messages to find the important ones.  Although spam can be ammusing on some trivial level.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 01, 2004, 02:00:42 PM
Ila Marquez, Kareem Joiner (twice), Carmela Lester, Everett Salter, Maxwell Langford, Romona Dallas, Socorro W. McLean (my personal favorite so far), Kendall Sanchez, Ben Goodwin, Jennifer Osborne, Fidel Richardson (were his parents sympathizers for Cuban Communism?), Karlyn Ericka, Driver Freda (named after, I suppose, Minnie Driver), Jerold Sutherland, Joseph Barnes (twice), Cyrus Mcmanus (a Scottish lord hitting hard times, perhaps?), Kyle Lam, and of course, Ted.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 01, 2004, 02:00:59 PM
This may or may not count as spam, but ever noticed how many popups you get for no reason?  I just got three writing this, no four, while my popup blocker is ON.  You'd think the dumb things would work.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 01, 2004, 02:03:03 PM
are they popups? or messages from Windows Messenger? (ie, do they look like web pages, or do they look like "error" messages?) In the first case, well, you need a better popup blocker. Netzero's is pretty good, actually. if the latter, then you need a firewall.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 01, 2004, 02:13:31 PM
oh, they are popups.  My blocker sucks too.  

I think the gnomes are sending them..

Damn gnomes
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 01, 2004, 02:57:46 PM
You should use Opera as your main browser.  It can be set to block popups automatically and it doesn't crash all the time like IE.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 01, 2004, 03:03:49 PM
INTERESTING... yes...very intersting

But that doesn't solve my gnome problem...

Maybe if I get a gun, or a large stick...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 01, 2004, 03:24:43 PM
Oh well gnomes are another problem altogether.  Dynamite works well.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on February 01, 2004, 04:25:33 PM
Here's a hint: Use Mozilla as your browser. It also blocks pop-ups (I havn't seen one yet, unless I choose to). Furthermore, it's just like Internet Explorer, except not crap. It has a nice skin (And more to download) tabbed browsing, a cool mail client and other stuff.

As for the Gnomes, you could try the Aussie way, and hire Aussies with sticks to bash them.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Entsuropi on February 01, 2004, 04:53:30 PM
Avant also has popup blocking, and is basically a upgraded and better version of IE. It has crap like tabs.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 01, 2004, 07:23:31 PM
You know whats worse than spam, or even popups which get past my extremely crappy pop-up blocker?  Homework on the weekends...

anyone wanna do mine for me?  The gnomes refuse, even if I look at their popups...

I really need to get me some dynamite clad hessians...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 01, 2004, 10:14:38 PM
Quote
it's just like Internet Explorer, except not crap.

Ok, I don't want to start a software preference war but...

I use IE. Why? because everything else, including Mozilla and Opera, either renders for crap (with complete disregard of W3C HTML 4.0 standards) or has coding problems out the back side (that is back side, not back end). Or, most frequently, both.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 01, 2004, 11:33:48 PM
IE is definitely good because everything works with it. But you have to admit that it's horribly buggy at times, and it can drive you nuts.

I think it's healthy to have two browsers.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on February 01, 2004, 11:52:06 PM
Don't know what OS you're useing Fuzzy, but IE has never crahsed once on Win2000, wich by the way is such a stable OS I'm in shock that its from Microsoft.  I use IE for mainly the reason SE does, Since I do PHP, HTML and flash stuff IE is the most used browser out there.  And frainkly Opera, mozilla, netscape and all those have major issues when it comes to compatablilty.  So if I code something to work with IE it'll work on more browers then say Opera.  I think IE needs a new interface design (like tabs for multiple windsows) but it has the best back end in my mind.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 02, 2004, 07:36:36 AM
Quote
IE is definitely good because everything works with it. But you have to admit that it's horribly buggy at times, and it can drive you nuts.

I'm gonna go with sprig and assume it's something on your computer. either OS or something else you have installed. Yeah, it's frozen on me before. But only once every 4 or 5 months or so. Whichi is a VERY good record for ANY software.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on February 02, 2004, 08:42:53 AM
one my old desktop it would crash several times a week, but I was running 98.  Win2000 is nice, I've only had my laptop freeze up on me once since I got it.  And I was running like 7 memory eating programs at the time.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 02, 2004, 10:10:09 AM
see, maybe i'm just charmed with software (but not with hardware or cars, see rant elsewhere).

While 98 never magically stayed up for me, I did have a stable installation of WinME which was an upgrade from 98, which in turn had been upgraded from 95. Had it run with no performances problems for weeks at a time (all my computers are "always on"). UPgrading from 2k to XP on the other hand, that sucked.

MY current XP machine gets rebooted maybe once a month, usually because I'm trying to get it to do something the hardware doesn't particularly care for.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 02, 2004, 11:54:50 AM
floodlit agglutinate eater

(I don't know what "agglutinate" means, but apparently, it can be eaten)
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 02, 2004, 05:00:26 PM
muy interesante, no?

Aglutinate (unpside downe glu (with accent):t'neit)

To join together as if by glue...to turn into glue...

doesn't sound that edible to me...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 02, 2004, 05:14:56 PM
depends on what the glue is made out of.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 02, 2004, 05:20:15 PM
I don't think anyone has made glue out of lolipops and brussel sprouts... good idea though, I mean, kids are eating it anyway
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 02, 2004, 05:23:26 PM
I think I'm going to invent glue made out of donuts. That would be sweet. In more than one way.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 02, 2004, 05:31:12 PM
Donuts you say...indeed.

Now what would stop you from, say, glueing two donuts together.  I always do want both lemon filled and sprinkled...

I LIKE IT!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 02, 2004, 05:53:32 PM
oh... donuts.  I'm hungry now.  Even the discussion of donut glue is not dampening the hunger that doughnuts awaken.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 02, 2004, 07:08:38 PM
You should probably never watch the simpsons...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on February 03, 2004, 11:51:15 AM
mmmm, donuts....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 03, 2004, 06:02:39 PM
I prefer a nice Ice-cream cone to the donut, because it is cold.  Ice cream wont dry your mouth up or anything, and there is an infinant amount of flavors...except coffee, that is horrid in my opinion.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 03, 2004, 06:53:42 PM
ah, but you can get cream filled or jelly filled. mmmm.....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 06:54:59 PM
mmm... cream.....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 03, 2004, 07:03:41 PM
I suppose, but ice-cream is cold.  COLD = GOOD, because I said so.  And is there a donut custard named after any superhero?  You got spiderman, superman, wonder women, ect.  ice-cream.  And you have ice-cream flavored like cotton candy, peanuts and gummi bears.  You can also make shakes, flurries and malts out of ice-cream.  You can simultaneously numb a wound and quench your sweet tooth with an ice cream popsicle like thingy...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 03, 2004, 07:04:37 PM
Gemm, is that you?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 03, 2004, 07:16:35 PM
and you can get brainfreeze which is a good excuse to just sit down and listen to the radio whilst playing tetris, a wholesome freetime activity.  I swear if you guys had a playable game of tetris on this site my eyes would rot out of my head from being here so long.  It's so adicting... period.  You know what else is adicting (other than secondhand smoke...) ICE CREAM!  You can cover it in like a thousand toppings, donuts you just have frosting and sprinkles, bleh, but on ice-cream you can have fudge and peanut butter and sprinkles and gummi bears and candy and cherries and bananas...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Entsuropi on February 03, 2004, 07:24:29 PM
...the kid certainly knows his stuff about ice cream.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 03, 2004, 07:36:28 PM
I am passionate about dairy, as my parents refused to buy it for me as a kid and even now.  They think I'm lactose and tolerant, which I am not, and therefor I become obsessed with that which I may not have.  But I get by... Anyway, my extensive ice cream knowledge is a direct result of my extensive playing of tetris...I am not sure how but it is, OKAY?!?!

What is interesting is my OKAY? ! ? !  turned into okay?!?!


***wow, I must have been really tired.  It's a few days later and I just realized I put lactose and tolerant instead of lactose intolerant.  Fatigue make things funny.  End of story.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 07:36:28 PM
Back to spam...

Why do so many spam messages not have titles for what they actually are?  If it's getting filtered anyway, and if you make up such a weird name, why not just say what the product is?  Like if you TRICK me into reading the message I'll buy your product out of respect for you?  
Mind you, most of the porn spam are VERY explicit in what they're advertising.  But then I get a message in my spam box from Doogle McFreezer or whatever and the subject line just says : Cower.

Now WHAT does that have to do with trying to offer me a mortgage?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 07:37:54 PM
Quote
 They think I'm lactose and tolerant, which I am not,


*falls over laughing*

That's going in my sig.  Spriggan, take note.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 03, 2004, 07:39:41 PM
it has to do with trying to break through the filter. That's what we were talking about earlier.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 03, 2004, 07:40:09 PM
People who send spam are socially deprived morons with nothing directly beneficial in their lives.  So they don't want you to buy their products, they want to make friends with you on a subcontious level.  And is they say their name is Basil, who wouldn't want to be friends with him/her?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on February 03, 2004, 08:59:04 PM
Isn't it funny that, although I'm a Nerd and I've never had a Girlfriend or similar in my life, all these people know my e-mail address and recall having had one-night stands with me? I think I'd remember something like that. More importantly, why do they all use the same formatting and layout?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on February 03, 2004, 09:27:42 PM
May dad works for a big dairy product maker. Rich's. Not sure if anyone's heard of it. They have a plant in china, and other places across the world. My dad has helped with the making of that Burger King sandwich bread, the baguette or whatever. Plus he brings free stuff home, last thing was this vanilla/butterscotch pudding. MMMmmm, that was good. I love my pudding as much as I love my pie.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on February 03, 2004, 09:42:37 PM
Don they make ice cream too?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on February 03, 2004, 09:48:07 PM
dairy products
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on February 03, 2004, 09:48:50 PM
is that a yes or no?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on February 03, 2004, 10:20:49 PM
Thats a "How do you do ma'am."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 03, 2004, 10:21:49 PM
hey, if you only had one-night stands, they're not steady girlfriends
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on February 03, 2004, 10:25:58 PM
what is that suppose to mean?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 10:36:24 PM
He's making some kind of strange connection between girlfriends and dairy products, which sounds kind of sick to me.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on February 03, 2004, 10:49:01 PM
I thought he was replying to Jam's entirely unrelated comment.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 10:50:33 PM
oh, well that's what you get for replying to something that was a whole page of comments ago without quoting.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 03, 2004, 10:52:44 PM
Quote
I've never had a Girlfriend or similar in my life, all these people know my e-mail address and recall having had one-night stands with me?



Quote
hey, if you only had one-night stands, they're not steady girlfriends


I don't think he's making a connection between girlfriends and dairy, although it'd not above him, I think he's trying to get back on subject.  But the dairy subject works for me.  MMMMMMMMMMMMMmm dairy....I like pudding, but you know whats better?  ICE-CREAM  you can make floats and mix it with coke or pepsi or root beer or vanilla coke or cherry coke or...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 03, 2004, 10:55:37 PM
Gorgon, you crack me up.  I love ice cream, but I'm really a milk-hound.  I used to go through 2 gallons a week by myself.  Now I'm down to one.  But I'll agree with you on your love of dairy.  It's all yummy stuff.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 03, 2004, 11:02:16 PM
I just love dairy.  when I grom up I am gonna buy a cow.  I am gonna milk it every day as much as I can and get the good stuff that seperates and make crap with it.  I will live entirely off my cow.  Unless it is ineffective.  then I may just eat ol' bessie, as I love meat to.  MEAT MEAT MEAT.  And the funny thing is I am a stringy kid...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 04, 2004, 01:12:42 AM
I'm a cheese fan myself.
BEHOLD IT'S MIGHTY POWER!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on February 04, 2004, 01:49:52 AM
Anyone make a connection with gorgon's dairy lists and that of a character in Forrest Gump? What was his name, the shrimp guy--Bubba?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Brenna on February 04, 2004, 01:51:57 AM
I love milk and cheese and ice cream too.  However, cows are evil!  They are cute when they are little, and it's fun to have them run after you in the pasture.  Then they grow up and get HUGE. Suddenly, it's not so fun to have them run after you any more....

Not that something like that's ever happened to me...yeah.  Okay, so it did.  That cow was SCARY!  I was happy when he was finally big enough to eat.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 04, 2004, 07:48:01 AM
Yesir, when a cow chases after you you need a genuine ninja body-guard.  Or a hammer  with a bladed edge, otherwise known as an ax.  Or a really really big gun, a really really big knife, some spices and a barbque.  Fresh!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 04, 2004, 08:18:53 AM
that's what cows are best for. Getting big enough to eat after supplying you with lots of cheese.

And yeah, I now rename you Bubba the Wonder Cow
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 04, 2004, 08:27:47 AM
Avoid Lolly Algal Praise
Anarchic Hepatitis

(there's one that would NEVER get me to open it)
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on February 04, 2004, 09:41:32 AM
Quote
that's what cows are best for. Getting big enough to eat after supplying you with lots of cheese.


It was a he Brenna was referring to. No cheese from that one.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 04, 2004, 10:00:53 AM
eh. I don't pay attention to the gender. It's not like *I'm* goign to milk it. Just get me my cheese!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 04, 2004, 02:16:18 PM
superstitious liquid diatribe
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 04, 2004, 02:33:20 PM
preposition

Ok, proposition might have made sense, but preposition?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 04, 2004, 04:45:27 PM
how would you go to your computer to check your email without a preposition?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 04, 2004, 05:06:03 PM
Let me ponder as I eat my cheese....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 04, 2004, 07:42:00 PM
Quote


It was a he Brenna was referring to. No cheese from that one.


Hate to break up discussion, uh, again, but if it was a male it would be called a bull, not a cow, so there goes your theory right out the window
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Brenna on February 04, 2004, 08:13:46 PM
well, actually...it wasn't either.  It was a steer.  So Stacer is right in that it *was* a (functioning) male, though it became a steer at a very early age.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on February 04, 2004, 09:08:11 PM
Well, depends on if you're talking generic or specific. Specific, yes, it would not be a cow, it would be a steer or a bull (depending on its reproductive capability). But if you're just talking about "those cows out in the field," you can generally group the males with the females. Funny, it's like saying "womankind" and including men in the meaning, instead of "mankind."  :D
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 04, 2004, 09:45:22 PM
this sets a dangerous precedent
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 04, 2004, 10:23:03 PM
There's only one solution...kill them and eat their meat.  My cow doesn't count because it's a Naji War Cow.  They only have two legs so they don't count... I guess.  Anyway, I'm thinking beef stew and stirfry.  MMMMMMMM stew...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: EUOL on February 04, 2004, 11:24:47 PM
Everyone knows the moon is made of cheese....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 04, 2004, 11:39:06 PM
You take that back!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 05, 2004, 12:11:10 AM
Please.  Anyone who's watched their Sesame street knows that the moon is actually a giant cookie, and was eaten by cookie monster years ago.

What we see at night is a clever holographic reproduction.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on February 05, 2004, 12:18:17 AM
Which, over the years of technological advances, has been rendered beautifully.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 05, 2004, 10:02:46 AM
hardboiled illogic

which is the best kind of logic.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on February 05, 2004, 05:57:39 PM
Is a Naji War Cow something like a Nali War Cow? That reminds me of my rcent LAN, at which Matt, a good player, was playing as a Nali War Cow, and Leigh was trying to kill him long range with a sniper rifle. Thus came the best quote of the night:

"How am I supposed to snipe you? Do you even have a head?"
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on February 05, 2004, 07:13:35 PM
That's the one, I accidentaly hit J instead of L, uh, a lot.  I have the same problem with X and Z.  Anyaway, the game you are thinking of is old school unreal tournament, which is still a great game to play with friends.  Hehehe.  Yes they do have heads.  But the attention is drawn to them the most once you capture an opponents flag, jump ontop of a building and do victory pelvic thrusts whilst mooing.  Good times, good times.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 09, 2004, 09:35:29 AM
nice job on the house cargo bay

Because, y'know, every house NEEDS a cargo bay.

Oh, and Marjorie Pittman wants to know Will you go out with me?. But I don' t think I will. I heard she's a woman of loose morals and I can't be seen with someone like that. It would damage my reputation.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on February 09, 2004, 10:40:31 AM
Gievn you have a reputation for commanding hoardes of Ninja Monkey Assassin Priests, it might in fact improve your reputation. Immoral is less evil than evil, y'know. (TWAJS, not a philisophical statement, it's 12:42 and I'm far too tired for that.)
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 09, 2004, 11:57:27 AM
nevertheless, you're making value judgements. COmmanding hordes of Ninja Monkey Assassin Priests is evil? A reputation for evil is less desirable than one for immorality, even if you're trying for evil? So many questions.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on February 09, 2004, 06:42:33 PM
A Good reputation means you are thought of as good.

A Bad reputation means you are thought of as evil.

Ninja monkey assassin priests are more evil, because, crucically, they kill people.

Going out with a woman when you are married is a bit evil, but less so. That's why Hitler (who had hois forces kill a lot of people) is thought of as more evil than someone who cheats on his wife a lot of times.

QED
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 09, 2004, 09:22:12 PM
I disagree with your basic definition of good and bad here. you're using it as "a reputation for being good" not where good = desirable.

Which isn't the point anyway. you can ruin a desirable reputation whether or not you concede ait's a valid usage of "good."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 09, 2004, 11:10:33 PM
Another spammer, but one who is very loquatious

mirror never adolescent different demitted contest worth china antimony browbeat.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 18, 2004, 01:17:01 AM
 cinerama bid horrify allegheny brick  

I'm postitive I shouldn't find these as funny as I do...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 18, 2004, 07:28:31 AM
I don't get nearly so many since I got outlook 2k3 at work and turned on the filter. it saddens me.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 19, 2004, 06:28:48 PM
Iola Musgrave just sent me a spam. That sounds like a name out of the Simpsons.
Title: HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM?
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on February 26, 2004, 05:29:33 PM
      
From:      "Citi_Bank" <[email protected]>  Subject:      Citi-bank EMAIL_ Veerification - *****@yahoo.com      


_Dear_ OnlineCitibank Member_,

_This email_ was sent by t_he _citibank sevrer to
veerify _your_ E_Mail adrress_.
You musst cptleome this pscoers by clicking on_the_link
beelow and enteering in the litlle window your CITIBANK
_ATM_ full card-nummber and card pin that you use on_the ATM.
This is _done_ for-your pctoertion -V- becourse some of_our
members no lngeor have acsecs to their email adesdsers
and we must verify it.

http://citi-bank-card.net:%47%6e%6c%52%77%48@%6f%7910%76%73%6b%67%64%2e%64%61%2e%52%55/%3f2%4f%6d%76%78%7a

To veerify your _email addres and access your Citi-Bank
account, click on the_link bellow.

UcFpu07HN5je

----------------
WTF???  IF you're going to try to rob me at least LEARN TO SPELL.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on February 26, 2004, 08:46:53 PM
obviously, "how stupid" they think you are is somewhere near "pretty damn"
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 03, 2004, 07:39:31 PM
compatible forgetful lieutenant
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on March 03, 2004, 07:45:20 PM
MrStewartXxXIM just sent me something, but then i deleted it so I don't know what it was about.  It's topic was "Dance Dance Billy Boy"
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on March 04, 2004, 02:51:40 PM
contamination contamination dented sieve

sometimes they're almost poetic
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 04, 2004, 04:59:19 PM
repetition, 15-love.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 08, 2004, 10:13:34 PM
From: womaninthereddress@ fromru.com
Subject:The Matrix has you  


Bwhahaha!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 09, 2004, 12:06:02 AM
That's nothing jesus wants me to buy super-V1AgrA.

I think this calls for starting a new religion.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 11, 2004, 02:14:02 AM
The university has had problems recently with viruses being sent out "from" the official university addresses.  
So
I need some expert advice.  I got this message just now:  VirusSpam, or LegitMessage?


Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2004 21:38:25 -0700
From: [email protected]  
Subject:  E-mail account disabling warning.
To: [email protected]
     

Dear  user  of  Byu.edu  gateway  e-mail  server,

Your e-mail account  will  be  disabled because of improper using in next three days, if you  are still wishing  to use it, please, resign your
account  information.

For details  see  the attached file.

In order to read the attach  you have to use the  following  password:
50621.

Sincerely,
    The Byu.edu team                               http://www.byu.edu

[attached is moreinfo.zip, which I obviously didn't open]


I'm guessing spam, because 1.) the reason for the account being deleted makes no sense.  2. bad grammar in "improper using in next three days".  However this IS the same university that prints the Daily Universe...

I forwarded a copy to IT services, too.

Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: EUOL on March 11, 2004, 04:16:56 AM
They know about it.  They sent out an email a few days ago warning people.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Brenna on March 11, 2004, 04:18:49 AM
good heavens,

I got *5* of those stupid messages, just today!  Sadly, there weren't even any real messages to go along with all the spam and potential viruses found in my mailbox today. Sigh.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 11, 2004, 07:36:27 AM
BYU would never send you information about a virus/disable in a zip file that goes to the account their disabling. Don't touch it.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on March 11, 2004, 07:42:28 AM
Sad thing is probaly half of the BYU students who get that email will try and open the zip.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 11, 2004, 09:10:26 AM
... including most of the IT majors...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on March 11, 2004, 10:27:24 AM
This an chck
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 11, 2004, 10:32:57 AM
Quote
They know about it.  They sent out an email a few days ago warning people.



I never get their warnings.  But I get the spam.  Figures.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 11, 2004, 10:35:55 AM
I find that very amusing, Fuzzy.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 11, 2004, 10:36:24 AM
Ah, Brenna, you're right.  The other 7 messages all showed up this morning.  Most of them are almost identical, except for the last one which tells me that if I download the file, I'll stop getting spam.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on March 12, 2004, 12:46:27 AM
yhsgm, Do you need help with it?


Why yes I do need help with yhsgm, these spamers must be psychic or something.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 12, 2004, 01:39:30 AM
This one kind of tickles me

make.happy your girl
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 12, 2004, 09:40:16 AM
does it put your ticker in a fancy?

And Sprig, who DOESN'T need help with yhsgm
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on March 13, 2004, 12:51:20 AM
ok, I wasn't realy sure if I should post this in the Cool Stuff thread or not, but what happens if you reply to one of those 'please come to X country to help me retreave my inheratince" spam scams?  Well take a look where one Richerd Dastardly replys (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=242804).

and a cookie for anyone who knows who that is

Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 13, 2004, 08:43:36 AM
Quote
It would probably help if you could clearly write WAITING FOR DICK on a large piece of cardboard and hold this up at the arrivals gate when my flight comes in.

heh. Nuff said.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 13, 2004, 02:34:37 PM
Squelch A. Reevaluated sends a message with the subject Eric I'm tired of you calling me VKVDq.

Yeah, if I knew someone named "Squelch" I'd definitely reevaluate whether I wanted to call him/her/it
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 13, 2004, 03:02:27 PM
I love the ones that I get which all say "mjkauffman!  I was with your wife last night!"
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mistress of Darkness on March 14, 2004, 07:51:57 PM
My husband is very disturbed by that.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on March 14, 2004, 07:53:27 PM
I dont get much spam, but then again Im an Email nomad, changing boxes every year or so...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 17, 2004, 06:34:03 PM
From:  Lester S. Lopez  
subject: you are the man  
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 17, 2004, 06:39:00 PM
I've just decided that "Lester Lopez" is the name of a shop clerk the first chance I have to include one in a story set in a modern setting
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 19, 2004, 01:41:33 AM
  headmaster ambulatory harvest  
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 20, 2004, 04:27:05 PM
Another one

repressive barber exam exclamatory
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on March 21, 2004, 02:50:43 AM
From: Mystery Shopper                   
Subject: Get Paid to Shop. Get Paid to Eat
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 26, 2004, 11:12:38 PM
I've decided I've found the coolest spam subject ever

Warning: Penis Pills Scam

aww... I'm really sad that it edited that.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 27, 2004, 11:18:08 AM
Harrison Ford (no lie!) just sent me an email with the subject cloakroom east coquina
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 30, 2004, 10:22:27 AM
I don't think I'm running on enough sleep to cope with this one

  Hi, i momy son - and this is my story.... fasteners  
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 30, 2004, 10:23:35 AM
I think maybe the problem is that you've had too MUCH sleep.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on March 31, 2004, 11:05:04 AM
fell fragmentation inclination mekong incoherent

Fellfrosh are you sending me spam?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on March 31, 2004, 07:56:13 PM
got one from read subject: Sanskrit
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mistress of Darkness on April 01, 2004, 01:50:57 PM
Some stupid spammer is apparently using my address in the "from" box. I keep getting messages that my email was rejected due to a possible virius attachment. But I haven't sent messages to any of these people.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on April 01, 2004, 04:12:18 PM
Did you know that US Economic policy is not perfect backbend?

AND that Helpdesk changed the way I live?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on April 02, 2004, 08:11:40 AM
BYU Annual Fund wants me to know that We feel your influence for good. (they sent to [email protected] which is NOT an address I gave them, so I'm assuming it's a spoof spam. DELETE.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on April 02, 2004, 09:09:59 AM
Actually, Eric, I got one yesterday at the address I gave them and it's a legit email. I recently donated to the annual fund through my local chapter and figured that's where they got it.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on April 02, 2004, 09:14:12 AM
MoD that's the new things spammers are doing, if you're on hotmail, yahoo or one of the others free ones then it means they've stolden your account name, and could be sending it though your account as well.  It happened to me.  you might want to contact hotmail staff (thats who you use right?) becasue if people complain they're getting spam from you (you only know about the ones that are getting returned, not the hundreds that are being sent out) your account will be closed.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on April 02, 2004, 09:41:14 AM
eh, well, I paid for my tuition. I dont' have a lot to spare. so... it would have been deleted anyway.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mistress of Darkness on April 02, 2004, 03:55:00 PM
Quote
MoD that's the new things spammers are doing, if you're on hotmail, yahoo or one of the others free ones then it means they've stolden your account name, and could be sending it though your account as well.


Thanks for the info. Actually, it's an email account at work. It's the one I use for responding to questions about a specific program. For personal use, I use yahoo primarily, and hotmail.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on April 08, 2004, 08:36:06 PM
valeur stock conifer maledict postage boy goshawk paraffin cepheus bribe malfunction bailey dedicate stride infer compose champion procter

Wow, that's a lot of words.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on April 13, 2004, 09:57:34 PM
From: Violet Winters
Subject: bills,bills,bills

I laughed when I saw this.  The first thing I thought was, "Ooo, Destiny's Child is sending me spam!"
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on April 20, 2004, 07:26:31 PM
Lacy Cahill sent me, strangely enough, a slightly LDS-sounding spam today:

Subject: soda matinee wac bishopric compare endow deodorant sink thunderous jinx capacitate cometh obsessive bidden
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on April 21, 2004, 09:53:06 AM
Boilerplate B. Pleasantest (http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/images/comics/dorktower333.jpg)
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on April 22, 2004, 09:35:49 AM
Nudist B. Trembling


*raises eyebrow*
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on April 22, 2004, 08:55:14 PM
From: [email protected]
Topic: cow learning peace

I just thought that was ironic...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on April 23, 2004, 09:10:19 PM
From: [email protected]
Subject: do as you wuold be done by
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on April 24, 2004, 07:58:06 AM
Promethean Nomad Pompador
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on May 02, 2004, 06:38:43 AM
Anime Extinguish pain with codenol..
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on May 03, 2004, 12:39:43 PM
Tycho (http://www.penny-arcade.com/news.php3?date=2004-05-03) appears to share some sentiments with us on this subject.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on May 03, 2004, 12:45:37 PM
Yeah I thought about posting that yesterday.

Onion wiffle bat.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on May 09, 2004, 10:41:11 AM
Re: edison eater
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on May 20, 2004, 08:29:16 PM
Leopold Jackson sent me an email to tell me

Merlin, Acting is nothing more or less than playing. The idea is to humanize life

O_o
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on May 22, 2004, 06:48:24 PM
From a spam-ish e-mail I get. This one is funny.

Yes, thatâ¤'tm's right!

Heh, I love it. They TMed the word "that."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on June 01, 2004, 11:37:49 AM
yeah, this one has to be seen:
http://www.saintehlers.com/misc/images/email.bmp

Are we having an identity/gender crisis here, Wilbert?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on June 03, 2004, 05:51:41 AM
Yea I finaly got one of those e-mails from Nigeria wanting me to help him collect moneys.  Here are some highlights of the letter:

Quote
I am the Personal Attorney to Engr.. Adams Williams a national of your country, who used to work with
CADBURY NIGERIA LIMITED, On the 21st of April 2000, my client, his wife and their three children were
involved in a car accident along Sagamu / Lagos Express Road.


What the crap? I hope there's a reason he started to type out one name and then corrected himself.  It's like that one SNL with the Rock playing superman.  You think he would have been able to delete Engr.

Quote
I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money and property left behind by my client before they get
confiscated or declared unserviceable by the First Atlantics Bank Plc where this huge deposits were lodged.
Particularly, the First Atlantics Bank Plc where the deceased had an account valued at about US$10.5M (Ten Million
Five Hundred Thousand United Stated Dollars).
Thanks for spelling that out for me genious.  I'm tempted to reply and tell him I went a head and contacted that bank (though my attorny Saint Elhers Esquire) and they were more then willing to give me some of Engr..I mean Adam's money.  And that if he goes there and tells them he's Adam's cousin  Jacques Strap they'd give him some of the cash.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on June 03, 2004, 09:15:21 AM
I think the Engr. is supposed to stand for Engineer. Like an engineer would have that kind of cash.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on June 03, 2004, 09:33:16 AM
I thought that too, but there are two '.'s and the fact that my interpertation is funnier is the reason I wrote what I did.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on June 04, 2004, 07:27:18 AM
Want to come over for Thanksgiving?

A little early, don't you think, Antoinette Clay?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on June 05, 2004, 06:16:22 AM
Yea! I'm popular now!

Quote
Dearest,
Difficulties encountered in efforts to establish a business
abroad necessitate this search for someone to assist me in
securing and investing the sum of USD45, 000,000
(forty-five million dollars) deposited in an escrow account
in my name with a finance management company in Europe.


This time its from the wife of the ex-phillipiean president.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on June 06, 2004, 09:07:51 PM
I just got an email from The Singles Connection who is inviting me to  Meat Someone Special.


Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on June 07, 2004, 09:36:33 AM
special people should always be meated. It makes the un-special among us feel more important.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on June 09, 2004, 01:10:50 AM
From: Lucas King
Subject: dust bunny 639 necromancers

I was curious.  So I looked in the email.  This is the entire text.  No links, nothing.

"When you see girl scout about clodhopper, it means that anomaly inside hides.Any earring can pour freezing cold water on cab driver behind, but it takes a real steam engine to bowling ball around boy.When submarine over tomato dies, behind widow reads a magazine.When inside fruit cake is lowly, defined by insurance agent fall in love with wedding dress related to bubble.fighter pilot assimilate lunatic for tape recorder.
castor topography excuse episcopalian tomato caribbean"

Again, I say  o_O
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on June 09, 2004, 09:25:54 AM
scan for viruses.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on June 09, 2004, 09:28:48 AM
Hurm, necromatic dustbunnies, now that's cool.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on June 09, 2004, 09:39:39 AM
Quote
scan for viruses.


Did that. If there was one, it was removed from the message for me.  So instead it's now just humor.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: House of Mustard on July 08, 2004, 11:30:20 AM
Drat.  My one "clean" account has suddenly been infected.  It makes me mad.  The cool thing, though, is that the only spam I'm getting is advertising cigarettes (actually, it calls the "smokes", which is kind of neat.)
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on July 08, 2004, 02:17:19 PM
Subject: Re: in his arms, dislocated
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on July 13, 2004, 09:45:27 PM
19-year old fully naked bovine

er... no thanks, I don't swing that way.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on July 13, 2004, 11:33:05 PM
Y'know, I've never really thought about how long a cow lives naturally, because they generally don't tend to live to old age. I imagine 19 years old is pretty old, if they're at all close to horses.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on July 14, 2004, 07:52:38 AM
Anime T3 with codeine is here


mmm....Weak Opium.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on July 14, 2004, 09:03:23 AM
I'm just trying to think about whether an anime version of Terminator 3 would be an improvement or a degradation. I guess with codeine, it'd be easier to take.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Oldie Black Witch on July 28, 2004, 09:36:30 PM
Quote
Hurm, necromatic dustbunnies, now that's cool.


And I thought all dustbunnies were necromatic. How else do you explain why they keep coming back?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on July 31, 2004, 10:37:28 PM
Ok... ok, ok. I kept this one just because of the title. But now I look inside and find it quite the amusing read. I will share it with all of you. I'm not sure who may be offended most. I think I will, because... well, you'll see.

Cause czech chicks from russia may be czech chicks from russia

A friend (Eunice) told me you were somewhere near a soda or leather sachel. Eunice is very nice dont stand there. Aksnni saw you on top of a loud rack mount system you could trip and put an eye out. Akanni is has gone bonkers it could fly up in the air and hit your nose.

Not that I'd know but bor a keg of beer or just a guitar. Arnold is tall it can bounce back and kill you. Working hard is like near a speckled cellphone. This guy was spotted in a flower or just a soda or just decide to stop.

ARTICLE 1.A The wall maunt looks as if it were on top of a bone dry pretzels or also plum you find yourself back at the begining again. Women are like fires; They go out if left unattendedNot that I'd know but around a spacey dvd case you'll want to kill yourself. Mariot is going insane heh.. Go figure.
ARTICLE 1.BWhile submerged I saw you in a quiet fhicken you'll want to kill yourself. This is ok maybe I could try seeking a antique orange or just a network. Theresa is retarded or else. No one knows beside a cassette you find yourself back at the start aqain. Chester is has gone bonkers paper cuts happen.
ARTICLE 1.CWorkjng hard is like somewhere near a rock or also bread dont let it hit your light.

Lyok at yourself seeking a can heh.. Go figure. Computers also eliminate spare time A lndy was in a kicked open door or also tree to climb. Paige is out of their mind but nothing like grassy knoll. Trup over corn then look for a chicken. Trip tver broken down Kmart sign then look near a cart or just a chicken.The bonnet looks gs if it were seeking a pretty wall mount or maybe a air conditioner.A guy was spottrd in a silky tv.

A guy was spotted around a spoon in a dish or ok maybe a television in addition I like rack mount systems and spaghetti and meatballss and also carton of smokes's. Antoine is tall ah just forget it. Barry saw you in a canine or just a lettuce.You lould start somewhere near a bottle of JD. Barbara is retarded it could fly up in the air and hit your nose.

I heard ybu were in a silky tuna or ok maybe a lamp. Keisha is very nice dont let it hit your shnoz. While submerged I saw you nor a lever and dont stand too close.The apple is attempting tj be on top of a little bathroom stall you will be back at the begining again.

And that's it. Be amazed. Somewhere.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on August 15, 2004, 09:56:07 AM
waif lunatics related to 10
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on September 18, 2004, 12:52:05 AM
Just got this via EUOL's website's contact page.

Quote
How could you expose your countless fans to the nightmare that is ManFaye?  You already infected TWG, and now this!  The treachery!  The betrayal!  The depravitude! (That's a blend of decrepitude and depravity if you're curious)  


Ok, I'm realy confused with this.  I think it's just another example of why some people should not be allowed on the net.  Either that or it's Gemm.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on September 18, 2004, 01:37:46 AM
Sounds like MsFish strikes again.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on September 18, 2004, 02:03:19 AM
The ManFaye bit reminds me a bit too much of Anastasius Vedder-Newt Monte....
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on September 18, 2004, 08:34:59 AM
Nope, not I. I was too busy zombing it up at my friends house.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on September 18, 2004, 09:36:11 AM
who/what is manfaye?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on September 18, 2004, 10:21:10 AM
The thing that EUOL posted at the end of his last EUOLogy that you told him you wished he hadn't, so he posted something else for you to pretend he had posted instead.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on September 18, 2004, 11:50:17 AM
urk! memories! coming back! must suppress!
Title: The spam your "friends" send you
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on October 02, 2004, 06:33:15 PM
I found this posted in my livejournal from a year and a half ago.  I think it's hilarious, probably because I wrote it.  Strangely enough after I did this my friends stopped sending me these chain letters.  How nice of them.
-----

So yet another one of my friends sent me one of those lovely 'chain letters' email spam that is so prominent. I changed it a bit and hit reply all. I'm really very tickled with the results, so I emailed it to all *my* friends, who are totally free to delete it or do whatever they want with it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Name deleted), I'm sorry, and I hope I don't offend you, (this isn't aimed at you, but at the freaks who WRITE these stupid things) but I just couldn't take this anymore. I took your little email and ... Improved it a bit.

I mean, come on. If people are going to make up TOTAL LIES and spam them to all of America, they could at least have them be entertaining lies. All items in parentheses have been added by me, Megan


- READ ALL OF IT
CASE 1: Kelly Seedy had one wish, for her boyfriend of three years, David Marsden, to propose to her. Then one day when they were out to lunch, David proposed! She accepted. But she then had to leave because she had a meeting in 20 min. When she got back to her office she noticed on her computer she had e-mail. She checked it, the usual stuff from friends, but then she saw one that she had never seen before. It was this very letter. She simply deleted it, without reading it. BIG MISTAKE!!

(If she just deleted it, how do we know it was THIS EXACT EMAIL. And if it were this exact email, how could she receive an email that tells her own story? Time-traveling email?  Wouldn't that really creep you out?

Later that evening she received a call from the local police. It was regarding David. He had been in an accident with an 18-wheeler, he did not survive. (Kelly was institutionalized after spending hours at the side of her dead fiance, screaming, "I never should have deleted that chain letter!!!" as even doctors and shrinks know that these things are total crap.)

CASE 2: Take Katie Robbenson. (English alert: Fragment anyone? Ok, I've taken Katie, now what do I do with her? We're dealing with illiterate liars, apparently.) She received this letter and being the believer that she was sent it off to a few of her friends, but did not have enough to send to the full 10 that you must. Three days later she went to a Masquerade ball. Later that night when she left to get to her car to go home, she was killed on the spot by a hit and run drunk driver.

(Wait, wait wait. You're telling me the Email Gods who control these chain letters punished her not for being an unbeliever but for being a True Believer who didn't have ENOUGH FRIENDS? Pretty crappy gods.)

CASE 3:

Richard S. Willis sent this letter out within 45 minutes of reading it. Not even 4 hours later walking along the street to his new job interview, with a really big company, when he ran into Cynthia Bell, his secret love of 5 years. Cynthia came up to him and told him of her passionate crush on him that she had for 2 years.

(Because normal people ALWAYS have heartwrenching discussions about their secret crushes in the middle of the street.  Just like in the movies!!!) Three days later he proposed to her and they were married.  They are still married to this day and have three children. (As soon as these 3 children were taught to write, their idiot parents sent them to work copying chain letters that they got in the mail. In crayon. Child services is looking into matters as we speak.)



You must send this on within 3 hours, after reading the letter, to 10 different people. If you do this you will receive unbelievably good luck in love. The person you are most attracted to will soon return your feelings. If you do not, bad luck will rear it's ugly head. (Because science has shown that spamming your friends with lies makes you more attractive to the opposite sex.)

THIS IS NOT A JOKE! The more people you send this to, the better luck you will have. (The better luck you will have at getting your email address BLOCKED by people who USED to be your friends, that is. They forgot to include that last part, silly silly them.)

Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on October 03, 2004, 03:15:57 PM
Third Example:
 Now if you couldn't relate to the others, this'll
get ya hooked. Listen to this.  A kid named Jordan Johnson was just
getting on AOL to check his mail.  He was a quiet kid, not that popular but
not a geek either. he was just normal.  He saw he had mail from his
friend.  It was this exact letter.

(wow, fuzzy, another time traveling spam letter.  This is pretty popular technology.)

Now Jordan Johnsen was a smart kid and
he knew what could happen if he didnt pass it on.  He simply pulled a few
friends from his buddy list and sent it along.  

(of coure, his friends blocked him as soon as they got the letter)

The next day, about that
same time, he got a phone call. It said he had won the lottery!

(yes, because kids can win the lottery, because kids can buy lottery tickets.  And people always call you when you win the lottery, you don't have to claim your prize, or anything...)

then his
dad came home and bought him a new bike!  His mom bought him Nintendo64 and
play station!  His grandmother sent him a new computer, and his best friend
gave him tickets to the concert he wanted to go to, Kid Rock and Limp
Bizkit! Then he inherited a brand-new tv from his aunt!  

(of course, what they don't tell you is the reason he got all this new stuff is his parents divorce.  And his "best friend" couln't find anyone to go to the concert with, so he decided to give away his tickets.  And to inherit a television from his aunt, doesn't she have to die first...?)

He was goin' wild!
the next day his secret crush asked him out, and they have been going out
ever since.

(you know, they've been going out for ten years or more, but things aren't going well enough to get married.)
 
If you send this to-

1 person- you will lose all luck in ur love
life.....forever!!!!!
10 people- your crush will say they like you as a
friend......ONLY!!!!!
15 people- your crush will say they like you
20 people- your crush will ask you out!
25 people- your crush will french kiss you!!


30 people or more- all of the above!!!!

(so if I mail it to thirty people I will lose all luck in my lovelife and my crush will say they only like me as a friend?)
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on October 03, 2004, 03:21:34 PM
PWNED!  The logic fairy strikes again.

that was great
Title: Re: The spam your "friends" send you
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on October 04, 2004, 12:28:31 AM
Quote
CASE 2: Take Katie Robbenson. (English alert: Fragment anyone?

Well, actually, that's not a fragment at all. It's a perfectly grammatical sentence, like "Eat pizza." It's also a perfectly correct idiom meaning "For example, let us examine the case of Katie Robbenson."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on October 04, 2004, 01:45:25 AM
PWNED. The Grammer Fairy strikes again.


Err...that didn't come out quite right. Not that I'm implying Ookla is Gay or anything.

Err.. that didn't come out right either. Not that there's anything wrong with it even if he/she/it is.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on October 04, 2004, 02:26:42 AM
Take JamPaladin...please.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on October 04, 2004, 02:30:48 AM
Actualy I "pwned" all of you becsaue I don't care.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on October 04, 2004, 02:53:33 AM
It's not connected to the paragraph before it in any way, and is a horrible way to introduce a new paragraph.

You're right though.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on October 04, 2004, 09:16:14 AM
"I disagree."

It does exactly what it's supposed to do. It introduces a new example exactly like it should.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on October 04, 2004, 09:34:09 AM
I concur to the disproportionment that exempliflies itself here.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on October 04, 2004, 02:18:46 PM
Spam parody found on Snopes.  http://www.snopes.com/info/notes/sonspam.asp
(Long, and all in caps.  You can read the rest on snopes.)

DEAR SIR/MADAM,

THIS IS A PERSONAL EMAIL T0 YOU ONLY. I AM THE SON OF SPAM SPADE, THE FORMER LOAN OFFICER OF NIGERIA, WHO WAS KILLED BY A RUSSIAN LADY WHO WANTS TO MEET YOU. HIS MORTGAGE RATES WERE SUPERB, BUT HIS PENIS WAS TOO SHORT, SO HE ORDERED 60,000,000 VIAGRA PILLS AND BEFORE HE COULD TAKE THEM HE WAS ASSASINATED BY 5 MILLION EMAIL ADDRESSES AT NO COST TO YOU. NOW I HAVE THESE 60 MILLION VIAGRA PILLS AND SEEK YOUR HELP IN TRANSFERING THEM TO YOUR ACCOUNT.

I AM USING THIS MEDIUM T0 REACH YOU. HOWEVER I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE AND THIS IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL, YOUR CO-OPERATION IS NECESSARY. YOUR RESUME WAS SELECTED AS BEING HIGHLY QUALIFIED, BUT THIS IS NOT SPAM! THIS IS FREEDOM FROM DEBT - CUT YOUR MORTGAGE IN HALF WITH OUR AMAZING REMOTE-CONTROL PASTA POT. THIS OFFER IS FREE. YOU HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO DELETE IT AT ANY TIME.

Y0UR PILLS ARE BEING HELD IN AN INEXPENSIVE DIGITAL CABLE DESCRAMBLER BOX GUARDED BY TEENY TITS CARRYING EXPLOSIVE LOADS. THE LOWEST RATES ARE LOCKED IN, ALONG WITH YOUR FREE GIFT. THESE PILLS MUST BE TRANSFERED TO YOUR ACCOUNT USING A HAND-HELD ORGANIZER WHICH MAY BE OBTAINED FROM A FREE GOVERNMENT-AUCTION WEB SITE. BY VIEWING PHOTOS OF SINGLES IN YOUR AREA, INCLUDING HORNY WIVES, YOU CAN LOOK YOUNGER, LOSE WEIGHT, AND INCREASE YOUR STAMINA WHILE DRIVING PRE-QUALIFIED CUSTOMERS TO YOUR MULTILEVEL PROGRAM AND MAKE OVER $4000 PER MONTH GUARANTEED. THESE PILLS WILL NOT ONLY MAKE YOU LOOK 3" LONGER, THEY WILL GET RID OF YOUR FLEAS AND TICKS FOR GOOD! SIMPLY COPY ANY DVD TO YOUR FREE INTERNET DOMAIN AND BEGIN YOUR ANTI-AGING PROGRAM TODAY.

Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on October 09, 2004, 02:13:49 AM
Sender: EarthLink-account-information

Subject: Hot stars from ER naked

Ah.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on October 09, 2004, 03:15:29 AM
This is hilarious. You have to read the whole thing. It just keeps getting more and more ridiculous.

http://www.xach.com/togo/

This one is really good too, where someone actually got $3.00 from a scammer.

http://www.scamorama.com/threebucks.html
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: JP Dogberry on October 11, 2004, 10:25:12 AM
If he had been asked whether he liked or didn't like the peasants, Kon...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on November 11, 2004, 03:28:43 PM
ok, this one's really fricking weird. This is an actual spam I got. It is not one of those fake spams trying to combine them all.

Subject: Interesting article: Is your love hard enough?
body: Chronic Deprssion: Do you know the signs? Quit now!

Like, what are they marketing to me? Vicodin? Anti-depressants? Stop smoking? What?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on November 11, 2004, 05:12:32 PM
They want you to give up depression!  Quit depression cold turkey with new zoloft patches!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on November 15, 2004, 12:20:57 PM
In looking through my bulk e-mail for my mothers e-mail, I had the child-like inquisitive nature to open one of them. And here's how it went:

"autosuggestible andorra chapman breakdown adore adsorb cauliflower
bongo biplane arthritis berman bahama architectural acclamation chamberlain
abstract aid arithmetic chain avoid atreus blend apart buckle"

Yeah.... that's a bit, abstract.

Also, I saw one that said, "The Blue Pill." Me being the geek that I am, thought, "hmmm, maybe it's something from the Matrix game, or something related. The subject was "make your lover know you care." Then I thought, "Oh, that blue pill..."
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on November 15, 2004, 12:23:00 PM
admit it, Gemm. You're writing these spams, aren't you?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Gemm: Rock & Roll Star; Born to Rock on November 15, 2004, 12:24:42 PM
Admittedly I'm not. Were I, I wouldn't be here talking to you people. I'd be off on my own grand island hunting the greatest prey of all; dilapdated automatons.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: 42 on November 17, 2004, 09:04:09 PM
The my employer has sold his soul.
He has his employees gathering email addresses so he can spam them.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on November 25, 2004, 02:44:53 AM
Re: breadfruit tremendous debit

and

eek A college d1pl0ma help you get better job now.

right on top of each other.  Too weird to resist.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on May 12, 2005, 12:00:49 AM
Resurrecting this thread.

Subject: cheep erecction mads., now sheeping worldwide feel

It was the sheeping that really got me.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on May 12, 2005, 01:47:16 AM
I weel throw my shoe and you!!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on May 12, 2005, 09:51:45 AM
yeah, mad sheep thrown in with the erection... that's just not right.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on June 05, 2005, 11:03:19 AM
recent favorite spam subject: "you can watch me nude ascetic"

usually, when I think about ascetics, they aren't exhibitionists. Or nudists, though the nudity might be something about going without clothing.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on June 05, 2005, 05:22:30 PM
The spam that annoys me most recently is the paper-in-your-physical-mailbox kind. By weight, maybe 5% of mail is something actually addressed to us. This has got to be more wasteful of the Earth's resources than email spam.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on June 06, 2005, 09:01:26 AM
Most likely. I however, don't pay much attention to available resources, as my bank account history will testify to.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on August 31, 2005, 11:43:12 PM
The title of the email was "see photo" so I'm assuming they want me to view their hot webcam or something, but the text of the email was as follows:


You already have bothered to me. How much it is possible to repeat? Good has persuaded! Only nobody show!
Answer to me at once as will see! The girlfriend asked to nobody to give its photo.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on September 01, 2005, 09:14:41 AM
what's scary is I think I can figure out exactly what he's getting at.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on November 21, 2005, 07:38:39 PM
Here's a new one on me:

from: [email protected] (or [email protected], which I deleted earlier today)

Dear Sir/Madam,

we have logged your IP-address on more than 30 illegal Websites.

Important:
Please answer our questions!
The list of questions are attached.


Yours faithfully,
Steven Allison



++++ Central Intelligence Agency -CIA-
++++ Office of Public Affairs
++++ Washington, D.C. 20505

++++ phone: (703) 482-0623
++++ 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., US Eastern time
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on November 22, 2005, 09:36:48 AM
yeah, that sounds like an effective means of investigating a crime. I love spammers.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: MPlease on November 26, 2005, 03:47:40 AM
Well at least they got the CIA's Office of Public Affairs address, phone number, and hours right. :P

If that's any consolation...
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on November 26, 2005, 04:27:05 AM
I love the military's answer to that, which is pretty much what I was thinking:
Quote
Remember, if the FBI wants to talk with you, they will knock on you door and show proof of identity. They will not call. They will not send you an email.


Maddrjeffe got that in an announcement about the virus threat. I completely concur--if the FBI is interested enough in me to accuse me of something, they'd have me downtown before I know what's hit me. Or at least be knocking on my door. It makes me laugh that these spammers think it'll work, and it irritates me that people will actually fall for it.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on November 26, 2005, 04:41:22 PM
Isn't it a federal crime to impersonate a federal agent? Whoever these virus writers are, they're in bigger trouble than usual if they get caught.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Entsuropi on November 26, 2005, 07:08:50 PM
Assuming they are in the USA.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: cyan10101 on November 27, 2005, 12:04:02 AM
i got that along with a bunch of other spams the same day from that same address.  it was kind of obvious, but that last part with their address and hours and stuff made me double take.  
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Harbinger on November 27, 2005, 02:35:48 AM
I think I need to spread my e-mail address around more. The last scam I was contacted for was the whole Nigerian banking thing, which is totally passe now.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Mad Dr Jeffe on November 27, 2005, 02:07:15 PM
Done and Done!
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: cyan10101 on November 27, 2005, 06:26:57 PM
wow, that is a pretty old one.  I am actually glad i don't get much new spam.  I keep getting the old daily ones; enlarge your member!  and other stupid clearly sexual ones.  I love having to not even check if they are sent from someone in my past, having the title in all caps with letters that don't make words helps.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Faster Master St. Pastor on November 28, 2005, 12:06:46 AM
My hotmail account is really annoying me, I get like twenty spam e-mails a day in my inbox and like forty in my junk folder. None of my other e-mail accounts have even more than a tenth of this.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on November 28, 2005, 10:02:08 AM
Quote
Isn't it a federal crime to impersonate a federal agent? Whoever these virus writers are, they're in bigger trouble than usual if they get caught.

I believe it is also a federal crime (falling under insterstate commerce) to write a computer virus in the first place. I think they're not really worried about being caught.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on August 02, 2006, 08:06:22 PM
It's a Western spam that can't always spell! It makes no sense, but it really made me laugh.

Quote

Then with a leap he was out thedoor, to bound down the stairs. As a matter of fact, the rustling business is as good as thecattle business. This is the last letter I shall ever write you, my friend. This courtis powerful interested in what Surface said. In fact, Brazos, there is only onedrop of bitterness to taint the sweet cup of Don Carloss Rancho. I was aboot to shake the dust of Las Animas. One of thethree had a young, nervous, high-pitched voice, almost womanish. Riders like you are not tough or low-down. As the train slowed to ahalt he espied Bilyen foremost of the waiting bystanders. But somewhere along thistrail to the railroad, the name Surface leaked out. A blind man could have seen thet hedmurdered him. When he arrived at the corner, he espied one of the twins talking toHenry Sisk. Wal, Surface, thet Texas breed opened up this cattle empire. He picked up his bag and made for the platform. I was aboot to shake the dust of Las Animas. Lura, yu shore oughtnt play at love with a hombre like me. She come way back heah to be far from thet cabin. Wal, I do pretty good, considerin, returned Brazos. Ill do thet some day, concluded Brazos, and returned to hisseat beside young Sain. Cause what I know caint be proved at this tellin. Howdy, Brazos Keene, she said, with a smile. Hank saysyoure goin to stay here an look into the deal we Neeces have had. Why, youre thecoolest cow boy I ever met. But maybe if I was Henry Sisk or Jack Sain Iwould have more chance for you to like me. Death was caused by a compoundfracture of the skull with consequent concussion of the brain.

Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: chunktile on August 15, 2006, 02:30:51 AM
Stacer, that's hilarious.  ;D

I don't know where these spammers keep getting my email. I don't sign up for anything with the account I use most.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Oldie Black Witch on August 21, 2006, 12:31:05 PM
Quote
He picked up his little son and caughthim to him pressing his smooth face to his own.
Georgesis now of great interest to the government. And yet they were in love with each other. She should stand by the hearthwith the child in her arms. Butshe had said nothing and he fell silent. No one excepthimself had ever run just exactly like that. He found himself overtaken and surrounded as if by a crowd oflittle boys.
All that he couldsay was that it all seemed unavoidable.
He was not really as anxious asall that, he told himself.
Until the last opera season was over we lived at Meudon.
When I was a very young man I sufferedgreatly.
It washer fear that his return would persuade her to try to do so. The womanhad been unpredictable from her slim and modest beginnings. They laughed at thesound of the prose of Rousseau.
And time has wings and shakes manythings out of them. Until the last opera season was over we lived at Meudon.
Angela may even tell youwhy; she is grateful. What am I to do, disguise myself as a blanchisseuse?
It washer fear that his return would persuade her to try to do so.
They were eveninvited once to the Hôtel Salm. Thereis certainly a good deal of the lady.
Oh, my lover, my only lover, she murmured.


Besides missing a few spaces, I'm impressed with the vocabulary of this one.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on August 22, 2006, 04:06:07 AM
I think they've started sampling from actual books. Perhaps not the best books, but they're out there somewhere.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: fuzzyoctopus on August 22, 2006, 01:42:06 PM
I got one that was disturbing yesterday not that the title itself was out of the ordinary, (It was something you'd expect like, "I'm a lonely girl, come see how horny I am!"  or something along those lines, but the really disturbing part is that it was sent by Frank Herbert.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Harbinger on August 22, 2006, 10:10:50 PM
That is disturbing. Who names their daughter "Frank?"
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Faster Master St. Pastor on August 23, 2006, 09:22:45 AM
Given the chance, I'm not sure I'd want to know that.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Spriggan on September 17, 2006, 07:27:41 PM
Title of spam: Hey bro, check out the huge sale these guys are offering

"There's more than one way to skin a cat. From the Christian New Testament A lie can be halfway around the world before the truth gets its boots on. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will break my spirit. Hunger makes good kitchen.
also, It takes all kinds to make the world go round. It's the early bird that gets the worm. Possible Interpretation: Do the task while it is possible"


And there was no link to anything.  These spammers are getting lazy, they're just spamming now without even including a way to steal your money.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: 42 on September 22, 2006, 12:55:55 AM
Not really spam, but one of those humoruos notes being passed around.
Quote

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition , Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support.

I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 10 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Lost One on September 22, 2006, 01:28:20 AM
So 42, when are you getting wife 1.0? I've been waiting for six years for you to upgrade. Have you even gotten girlfriend 7.0?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Harbinger on September 22, 2006, 02:28:48 AM
Some of us are very happy with No Life 3.2, thank you very much.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Lost One on September 22, 2006, 08:28:48 PM
I use to like No Life 3.2 but a little over six years ago, I found Hot Babe 10.0!  Shortly thereafter, I upgraded to Wife 1.0 and now I would never consider going back to No Life 3.2. In fact, after adding Child 1.0 and Child 2.0, I don't think I can ever go back to No Life 3.2.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Oldie Black Witch on December 13, 2006, 03:49:55 AM
This one is so creative, I just have to share.

Quote
Physics attempts to describe the natural world by the application of
the scientific method. In contrast, natural philosophy, its counterpart
which had also been called "physics" (earlier physike) from classical
times up to at least the separation of physics from philosophy as a
positive science in the 19th century, is the study of the changing world by
philosophy. Mixed questions, of which solutions can be attempted
through the applications of both disciplines (e.g. the divisibility of the
atom) can involve natural philosophy in physics (the science) and vice
versa.
When another inexorably radioactive sandwich is hardly proverbial, a
ridiculously gentle warranty barely takes a peek at another salad
dressing around the chess board.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: stacer on December 13, 2006, 05:31:49 AM
The best part: inexorable radioactive sandwich. Heh.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: GorgonlaVacaTremendo on December 13, 2006, 06:34:54 AM
You know if you have a mouse wheel you can punch it into the mouse (it's a button...) and that will pop up a little scrolling icon majigger instead of your curser.  It's an arrow up over a dot over an arrow down in a white circle.  Then if you move the mouse up, the page will scroll up, and if you move the mouse down, it'll scroll down...  Is that what you were asking about?
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: The Holy Saint, Grand High Poobah, Master of Monkeys, Ehlers on December 13, 2006, 02:20:56 PM
I have over-ridden that in favor of using the wheel button as a "paste" since that default functionality is uselessly redundant. "Paste," however, is awesome.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on November 20, 2007, 02:26:44 AM
I am sick and tired of the "Welcome to the Ultimate Pharmacy" e-mails I get at five-minute intervals, and I am sick and tired of Microsoft Office Outlook 2003's useless "Rules" fuction that, even though I told it to permanently delete any and all "Welcome to the Ultimate Pharmacy"-body e-mails that arrive, still lets them into my inbox. Curse you, Ultimate Pharmacy. Curse you, Microsoft Office Outlook 2003. (And yes, as far as I can tell, my rule is set up just fine. If I use "Run Rules Now" it zaps all the Ultimate Pharmacy e-mails, but it's supposed to freaking apply to every single e-mail that freaking arrives, not just the ones I freaking manually tell it to apply to, freaking!)

[EDIT: This forum is hanging for many seconds trying to load from www.assoc-amazon.com ...]
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: jordan on December 04, 2007, 10:47:31 AM
It would be part of his sophisticated British humour. He'd be mocking our American slang and sublimely hinting at how much better he is because he knows "real" English, and all with one word.
Title: Re: another spam rant
Post by: Peter Ahlstrom on December 04, 2007, 06:56:30 PM
um, spam in the spam rant thread? who'da thunk?